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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu in thinking that the couples on the news

363 replies

TheUsefulSuspect · 02/03/2010 22:43

shouldn't have had a first child, let alone a second if they think there 1 Bedroom flat is insufficient.

Why do they think they deserve to be rehoused?

OP posts:
cerealqueen · 02/03/2010 22:56

YABU. Not having the space is not a reason not to have children if you really want them, and if you have had one, its quite usual to want another if you can. We don't have space for a second, but no way do I want to be looking back in years to come and thinking it was a good reason not too and explaining that to DD.

LaurieFairyCake · 02/03/2010 23:01

I think not being able to afford it is a very good reason not to have children.

I mean god forbid our every desire was not fulfilled in life Only in this spectacularly narcissistic western society can we even contemplate this - couldn't happen anywhere else. I'd rather support the children around the world already here.

tethersend · 02/03/2010 23:04

YANBU.

Also, if they stopped having children, we could effectively breed poor people out of society.

Of course, if that doesn't work, we could always sterilise them.

FFS.

Original poster
TheUsefulSuspect · 02/03/2010 23:13

I'm not having a go at poor people, but surely you need to have some sort of responsibility for the housing of your children?

The reporter said that the Mum didn't want to look in the private sector despite being offered funding for the deposit and just wanted to be re-housed by the council.

I do wonder why, rather than complaining about sharing there bedroom with the youngest child the eldests bed being in a walk in wardrobe the didn't have the brain capacity to put a Sofabed in the lounge and let the children share the main bedroom.

OP posts:
DuelingFanjo · 02/03/2010 23:18

at tethersend.

expatinscotland · 02/03/2010 23:19

What couple?

ChoreDodger · 02/03/2010 23:23

don't know what you're talking about , but I wouldn't like to see having children become some sort of privilege for the wealthy.

this couple can get better jobs when the children start school?? or both work? or the economy will pick up? But you can never turn back the clock and have a baby when you're too old.

Blomkvist · 02/03/2010 23:26

ooh great, this one again

ToccataAndFudge · 02/03/2010 23:29

"couldn't happen anywhere else."

hate to disappoint but poor people who "can't afford" children, but "want" children have them every minute of every day - and no it's not always for the traditional reasons spouted out (better chance of more surviving, having someone to look after them blah blah blah) - often it is just because they want a child (or two, or three)

solo · 02/03/2010 23:36

Should I give my children up now then? adoption? or can I sell them? how many laws would I be breaking if I sold them?

LaurieFairyCake · 02/03/2010 23:41

add to those traditional reasons (need them to look after them in old age, better chance of a couple living) - lack of contraception - a massive problem around the world.

We are just so utterly spoiled in this country.

Having a baby isn't a right, just a desire. And it is possible (though mpre dificult for some)to get over not being able to have one or more and focus on something else.

TheLadyEvenstar · 02/03/2010 23:49

You would always regret not having another if the desire was there.

ToccataAndFudge · 02/03/2010 23:50

oh yes Laurie - forgot that one.

But it is so true that many poor people around the world (forgot those 3 words in my previous post) choose to have children because they want them.

tortoiseonthehalfshell · 02/03/2010 23:55

Has it maybe occurred to you that...now, sit down, this might be a bit of a shock...the way that the news is reported is a little bit biased? I mean, FFS, "but the reporter said that the couple were complete idjits with no sense of responsibility".

Tortington · 02/03/2010 23:58

i don't think wanting a child is good enough tbh. and i say that as a fully paid up member of the lefty loony party.

even poor people can take responsibility

Tortington · 02/03/2010 23:58

haven't seen whatever programme you are referring too - just hoining in a general debate.

ToccataAndFudge · 03/03/2010 00:01

but then Custy you are saying lets wipe out 2/3 of the world population within the next 50-100yrs as if they all "took responibility" and didn't have children that they want, because they're poor then........well you'd get rid of all the poor people and the rest of you us could just sit there smuggly........and wonder why the hell there was no food on the supermarket shelves, and why our consumer luxuries had suddenly become so ridiculously expensive

Tortington · 03/03/2010 00:07

oops think your making assumptions about moi being rich or sommat?

I am not advocating that people in third world countries stop breeding, of course i need some 5 year old children to make me some shoes and keep the supermarket shelves stocked, becuase thats the world order and heaven forbid we change it.

but in this country. i think that one can take responsability.

ToccataAndFudge · 03/03/2010 00:10

custy - well you never know "where" people view themselves in the pecking order .

OK - so we stop all the poor people from breeding.........but then what do we do about us those annoying sods who insist on ending up poor after having had children that they could initially afford - I foresee them as being a bit of problem

Tortington · 03/03/2010 00:17

i never said stop 'poor' people in this country breeding. I just think that like the rest of society, i think poorer people have the brains enough to work out whether they can afford another child or not. I don't think if you are skint you are more stupid than someone who isn't as poor and thinks these things through. Being poor does not exempt you from common sense. if your house isn't big enough and you have no money and you already have a child, it seems silly to have another.

if someone later falls on hard times - well thats simply not the issue.

tortoiseonthehalfshell · 03/03/2010 00:20

I assume you're also against tax credits, subsidised fertility treatments, publicly funded maternity care, publicly funded schools and paid maternity leave?

Or is it only the poor people who shouldn't expect any government assistance when considering children?

Tortington · 03/03/2010 00:22

you assume wrongly. I have said nothing about govt assistance.

ToccataAndFudge · 03/03/2010 00:22

actually I think it is an issue - there are many, many people who find themselves poor at some point after having had their "can afford" children, why should we treat poor people who had children before ending up in hard times any differently to those who had children during hard times? At the end of the day we they all receive the exact same help and benefits..........

ToccataAndFudge · 03/03/2010 00:23

well if they're not getting govt assistance they 'aint poor

TwoIfBySea · 03/03/2010 00:23

YANBU sort of.

It is a personal choice, do you wait until the situation improves or do you sit back and expect another party to do it for you?

I stopped at my dts because of my own circumstances despite the fact I ached for another two. It isn't so much to do with being poor for some people though, it has more to do whether or not they have that victim mentality - that self-entitlement of someone who is completely dependent on others for their own existence.

Such is society at the moment though.