to think that DH's cousin is taking the p*ss a little bit?

[mampam]

DH and his cousin have recently got in contact after years. They were close as kids but fell out in their teens.

DH hasn't had anything to do with his parents for the last 3 years (long story, they are toxic) and has gotten a lot of stick from other family members as a result of his decision.

Cousin doesn't have anything to do with any of the family at all except DH. From what I gather cousin went off the rails in late teens, (drugs and using family for money etc).

DH always is the one to phone cousin. He only has a mobile phone and it's costing us a fortune. Cousin says he will phone but then later sends a message on FB saying he doesn't have any credit so can DH phone him instead. He pleads poverty on the phone to DH and says he can't afford the internet yet he always seems to be on FB. He is unemployed and from what I gather has never had a job.

I know DH feels his cousin is the only member of his family he can talk to and who understands re: the situation with his parents but I can't help thinking his cousin is taking the p*ss.

I worry because DH is vulnerable at the moment as he had a mental breakdown at Christmas and with all this talk of his cousin pleading poverty, saying he's in serious debt and can't afford heating or to eat it's making DH feel sorry for him, I wonder what's coming next?

We're not in any position to help him out, we have 2 DC's to feed and clothe and I'm currently 27 weeks PG. I'm off work with SPD and DH only works part time. We are barely keeping ourselves afloat.

Cousins father (DH's uncle) has previously said what a scrounger and user cousin is but I didn't make any judgements at the time but now I'm beginning to think there may have been some truth in what he said.

AIBU to worry that DH is being taken for a ride? I just worry because DH's judgement may be a little clouded right now.

YANBU to be concered about your DHs cousins intensions, i would encourage your DH to have a relationship, but also stress to him that in no way is it acceptable to give him any money in your current situation,
its not your responsability in any way.
His cousin is old enough to make sure he has enough money etc.
if he can't afford heating, well wear an extra jumper, if he hasn't got money for food, invite him round for 1 cooked meal a week, no more than that.
you and DH have to look after your own family first, the cousin is not part of that really.

Im sure if he is the scrounger type he will soon get the jist that you have no spare cash etc, and he will either break contact, or let things slide etc.
If not, great, try and encourage him into employment etc.

Perhaps when he messages for your husband to call him, your husband could reply, "I would mate, but we're in the same boat, not 2 pennies to rub together! Never mind eh? We can chat over email instead"

Should give the cousin the message that there is no point sniffing around for cash, if that's his intention! But friendly and not likely to cause offence if he doesn't have such intentions.

Can't lose, can you?