My 7mo dd won't go to Grandma!

[aj1986]

OK - my 7mo DD won't go to her grandma - my MIL. She sees her at least once a week, and has done from day one... However, DD will actually cry upon seeing her, and look scared for the remainder of the visit. She has relaxed with her about twice that I can remember. MIL is v hurt and I can understand that. What I resent is that I am blamed!
She says that she doesn't see DD enough for her to know who she is. Well I have news for her - it's not stranger anxiety DD is feeling, DD is fine with everyone else she sees (and that is no exaggeration). But MIL just constantly calls now to come round and see DD (when it's really not convenient) so she gets to know her better. I can't put my finger on what DD finds so scary - think it may have something to do with MIL taking her off when she is upset/crying and not giving her back to Mum. When she leans to come back to me, or looks round for reassurance MIL turns DD around or takes her out of the room so she can't see me
It's more of a what to do? I don't want to see MIL more than we do. I do want to tell her that it's only her that she cries with (I know I am BU with that) but I am getting sick of getting blamed for not letting her see her DGD more often and being the cause of her being scared - more of a what would you do than AIBU.....

Perhas she´s like my MIL-trying to "prove" that "granny" has the "magic touch" & can settle her when mummy can´t!

It drove me mad & I can hear her pathetic voice-"Yes, he´ll settle for his gran won´t he?"

Thank God I breastfed-that was something I did that she couldn´t even attempt!

my dd is 11.5 months and does not like my grandad, theres no reason, he has tryied everything, taking his glasses off (although me and ds wear glasses) shaving his beard and giving her presents but she doesnt like him at all and she is a really really sociable baby, especially loves old people cos the coo over her lol

sometimes she will watch him from a distance and she can see him play with ds (8) ,who loves grandad! but he is absolutely not allowed to touch her at all ever! even when we went on holiday for 2 weeks with him, she would happily go to strangers but not him... hopefully she will grow out of it!

Listen I am a Grandmother of three two which I look after for one day a week and the other grandchild lives a long way away and yes it did take a bit longer for her to get used to me BUT I WOULD NEVER TAKE HER OFF HER MOTHER UNLESS ASKED!
You are not to blame repeat after me!

At about that age DS1 was absolutely terrified of my brother (even though he had baby same age) and would scream the house down if he came anywhere near him. He eventually grew out of it. I used to joke that i had told DS all about what his uncle did to Mummy when shhe was little & that was why he didnt like him

He also had a preference for dark haired women (like me) and dark skinned people (very random as we are both white) and always stuck his arms out as though to be rescued if a fair haired person held him!

I think by the time he was one he had outgrown all these things.

My DD ow 3.5 went through this phase around 5 months (I posted about it here) it does pass

A very good friend of mine has been doing family day care for 25 years.

She usually has up to five children between the ages of 6 weks and school age.

She once told me that she prefers to start having them from a very young age (usually 6 weeks) .

When she starts having them from 5 to 7 months they experience more separation anxiety.

When she has them from 12 months, they are fine.

I think it's because around 5 months is when they truely start to become attached to mum and don't like to be out of her sight.

The nice part of this story is that the original children she had 25 years ago still send her Christmas presents and birthday presents.

Most of them had 2 or 3 siblings who followed them into day care.

My sisters middle DGD wouldn't go any where near her , but would Leep into DH's arms.

They just treated it as a big joke. We started to call her the "Wicked Witch".

DGD has just turned 5 and loves her Grandma to death now.

.