not to want to go to the wedding?!

[Doogle2]

Right - will try to keep this short. A friend (who I used to be very close to and is Godmother to my DS) is getting married. Since she has met her new bloke I have hardly seen her and she cancels whenever we try and meet up (she even gave the excuse she couldn't leave her dog last time!!). I have spoken to her about the wedding with my DS present and she just gave me vague answers (was starting to worry she was not happy)

Anyway the invitation came and only me and my husband have been invited not my 2 DS. I don't mind this as it is her wedding but I am very annoyed she didn't tell me or even discuss anything about it. I am not bothered about going because now I will have to find a babysitter, my DH will have to take a day off work and it will cost us a fair bob. AIBU?

YANBU, but I really don't understand all this difficulty with wedding arrangements. If I am invited to something and I can and want to go, I do. If I cannot go for whatever reason, too expensive, distance, babysitter, I don't. Simple.

yanbu not to want to go if it isn't convenient

yab a bit u to expect special treatment ie to be told 'no kids' before invitations come out

YANBU - No one has to go to a wedding.

YABU. Either go or don't go but don't turn this into a major diplomatic event. There may be a million reasons why she's not inviting children. You are possibly reading far too much into the fact that she has cancelled arrangements (people's lives get turned upside down a bit when they meet someone, fall in love, etc) and the fact she was vague about the wedding.

If you want to go, go. If not, don't. But don't let it ruin your friendship ... which since you chose her as a godparent, you planned to be in for the long haul rather than abandon ship at the first hurdle.

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

well - my freind had a no children wedding and i was all pfb about it and didn't go, i was sad i didnt go, and she was sad i didnt go - to be fair it would have been a bit of a nightmare for us childcare wise etc etc. I wish i went. But my friend had to limit numbers at the venue and if she had children then it would have meant she could invite less of her friends. I was and a bit hurt but totally understood. So i do know where you are coming from.

But of course, i didnt have issues with my friend like you do.

Thing is, if you cast your mind back to the dim and distant past when you were in luuurrrve with your DH, then you will remember him being the centre of your world and being a bit rubbish when it came to making time for your friends.

I think that if possible you should go, because if you don't it could spell the end of your friendship and that would be sad.

Agree with MrsBadger.

Be aware though that she might be very disappointed if you don't go and it might affect your friendship. If she has thus far celebrated your life choices and made an effort to attend your wedding/DCs christenings etc and has shown up, smiled and said 'well done' then I think it would be polite to do the same for her.

YABU, it is her wedding and she can invite who she likes. She may not have told you before because she had not decided about kids or even thought about it (especially if she has no kids herself) I had no children at my wedding, and that included my bridesmaids son (my Godson), was not a particular "decision" just didn't think it was an apprpriate place for kids (most of our friends at the time were childless) Until i became a Mum and encountered these kid of posts I never thought there was anything unreasonable about my request! (still don't and have never taken my DS to a wedding)