to think these 2 men could have told me DS was by the door!

[Coldhands]

Was in the doctors today waiting by reception. At first I picked DS up but he is a large 2 year old and very heavy so after a bit I put him down. I did let go his hand and told him to stay near me (I am a bit dumb to think he may have actually done it). I got to the front, DS was stood by the waiting room door which was fine. I turned to the receptionist to ask her something and while I was talking I turned around and DS was running out of the front door (it was closed, it is lighter than I thought). Luckily I just ran and grabbed him before he got to the carpark (he really is bloody fast). As I'm sure everyone will know, this happened so fast.

But what slightly irritated me was that 2 men were also stood behind me and as I turned around they were both watching DS go out of the door and neither one of them said anything. If I had even turned around a second later, DS would have been in the carpark (which luckily there were no cars arriving or leaving at the time).

I know it was my fault and I feel incredibly guilty for daring to let my DSs hand go for that little bit, and I dread to think about what could have happened. I feel like these men and the receptionist were probably thinking that I was a bad mother and I feel really ashamed.

AIBU though to think that one of them could have shouted or something to let me know? I know it happened so quickly but they were looking before I was.

I'll second Preachy- reins are a godsend, especially if you've got a 'runner' on your hands.

Ds2 nearly ran onto the main road after slipping his hand out of mine- foryunately I have long legs and was there in two paces! There was actually a couple walking by and the woman was in that hands-outstretched pose on the point of catching him too. Her husband, OTOH, was completely unaware!

So maybe YABU a leetle bit, but completely understandably so, given the fright you got.

My toddler ran off on the underground once when the buggy with the baby in went pear shaped. He was tearing towards the platform and only one lady stopped him THANK GOD.
You never ever stand by and let a child be hurt or killed because "the mum should be more responsible". What kind of idiot would let a 2 year old run past them onto the street??!!

And I know that didn't happen to the OP but a boy near me ran out of a cake shop and straight into the path of a bus because everyone thought it was OK for him to run into the road as he wasn't their child

I still don't really see other children junglist1, when out and about with DS, I know where he is and all the other kids are background. You simply can't rely on other people to keep your kids safe, it isn't going to happen whether it should or not - they just don't have the same investment as you do.

Once on the school run two litte twin boys were running in front of their Mum and very nearly ran into the road. Me and another Mum grabbed hold of one each. Their Mum screamed at us for grabbing them saying "Who do you think you are, touching my children"
Of course I still wouldn't ignore a wandering toddler and I think we did absolutely the right thing but this might just explain why the men let him go out the door.

YANBU....the men could easily have said to you "Excuse me your sons running off" if they saw.

But maybe they didn't see, perhaps they were in a world of their own paying no attention.

And you don't need to justify to me about letting go of a 2 year olds hand...they don't usually do a runner, but somtimes they do...I've always been very lucky, but like you have had a near miss with each of my children. Don't beat yourself up about it.

' "Who do you think you are, touching my children"'

to which the reply should be : 'your fucking saviour, mate'

I want to make reins cool again, MN has a hatred of themyet the people who don't use them are the ones presumably who don't need them. I was even quoted in that toddler book about the looks I get when using reins with me SN child. If it keeps your child safe whilst learning to develop road skills (unlike etgernal buggy use) tehn where is the issue?

DS had/has one of those little backpack ones with the leash. We all loved it. Who gives a fuck what random people think, it gives you that extra layer of safety when they do the "twist and run".

Yep, thats what we had first- then we moved on to a proper sn belt which we only use if its just me (eg school run, sn taxi drops him outside boys school)

I didf have horrid comments, such as things about doing that to a dog and my skin isn't so thick- though is more so now I guess.

I taught DS to bark when someone said that. He loved pretending to be a puppy.

My mum used them with me in the early 70s. She got a few ear-bashings about it apparently ("she's a child, not a dog"), but as she said the alternatives were to strap me into a pushchair or drag me along with my little arm aching. I certainly used them with ds, albeit briefly.

I do recall there was some kind of That's Life/Watchdog potenial deathtrap type scare with reins, but it was probably bollocks.

They probably didn't realise he was only 2, some two year olds are big and can look morelike a 4 year old. Therefore probably thought he knew what he was doing.

It is unreasonable for you to cling onto your child particularly if you are physically unable to. One of the things I hated about it when my kids were toddlers was things like doors that could be easily opened. You could ask the receptionist if they could provide a safer area if you have to wait too long? Alternatively keep him strapped in his buggy (again telling them why it is necessary).

I once had problems getting my oldest when he was about 6 from the park, he has SN and just kept running away from me. Several parents just stood and gawped and it took some older kids to finally corner him so I could grab him. Most folk don't want to get involved unfortunately.

Thanks for the replies everyone. I do actually have reins and I use them (don't care if people hate them on toddlers, they are great). I just didn't use them in this instance as I drove to the surgery and wasn't expecting to have to talk to the receptionist (I didn't know where the nurse I was seeing was).

I am actually quite that some people have had stick from others for stopping thier toddlers running away. I wouldn't think twice about it and if I got shouted at it wouldn't put me off again. I couldn't live with myself if I saw a toddler run past me into the road whilst I done nothing and they got run over, for fear of being shouted at by someone.

I have also had a talk with my DS about the dangers of running away like that. Ok, he is a bit young to understand but it never hurts to teach them as early as possible about getting 'squashed' by a car. I think it made DS think a bit as well from my reaction and he mentioned it several times today.