to think that brownies takes priority over their dad's birthday?

[cestlavielife]

dds have brownies tomorrow - special activities planned.

their dad my exP saw them sunday and had cake with them to celebrate his birthday -which is tomorrow. they due to see him weds as usual. (he sees them weds plus alternate weekends; court ordered. supervised under court order but i have been gradually loosening the supervision as he appears "well", eg tehey were with him alone this weekend - he borught them back v late but otherwise ok...)

he calls tonite and demands he sees them tomorrow as is his birthday.

this is the first time he has mentioned seeing them on his actual birthday.

i say - they have brownies as usual. and it will be too late after. they will call you and you see them on weds as usual they will bring your presents then.

he says no - they should miss brownies. throws tantrum. is it MY birthday. (he will be 47). i demand they miss brownies and see me.

dds say they want to go brownies...

(history of mental health issues and controlling abusive behaviour...)

Brownies it is then! YANBU! Rules is rules and his attitude doesn't particularly inspire you to bend the rules, does it?

sounds to me likes hes not that bothered about seeing them on his birthday.

what he is bothered about is that you have said no.

would i be right?

wilkos, yes....

he is trying to play victim and build a case (to who?) that i am "abusive" towards him...

I was going to say no until I read the rest of your post. If your girls have already celebrated his birthday and want to go to Brownies, then Brownies is where they should go.

can you tell him that your dd's want to go to brownies? maybe appeal to his better nature and say that they are looking forward to it and surely he doesnt want to upset them?

what would he say to that?

can he come round and take them to brownies himself?

he sounds like a prize jerk, 47 ffs??

Given the circumstances, YANBU. It's unreasonable for him to demand to see DCs the next day either without more notice.

me: "they want to go to brownies it is a special activities night"
him: "you are putting words in their mouths. you think they are your possessions. it is MY birthday that is once a year and is more important than brownies"

ps there is a pattern here... - two years ago just before i moved out - friend had organized party for her daughter and we were invited . he said: "you cannot go. it is MY birthday and you will organize a party for me instead..."

we went to the friend's birthday ...he became more and more aggressive - i moved out with dcs the next month...

cannot trust him to take them anywhere on time. appalling timekeeping always has been always will be.

his reaction to the friends birthday has made me laugh out loud

ha ha ha ha ha what a total dick

sorry i know that isnt helping but he is pathetic

in which case cestlavielife you will just have to stand your ground and tell him no. good luck.