to think you can never really recover from an eating disorder?

[giraffesCantCeilidhDance]

I would love you all to tell me IABU. However everything I have experienced myself/people I met when I was ill make me think that you can never really get rid of it. Also anything I have ever read online seems to show that while you can get well enough to be normal it never really leaves you. So AIBU?

YADNBU unfortunately Are you struggling again at the moment? All this stuff with my friend has brought all of the ED emotions back to the surface again.

I wish it would just go away, but once its there, I think the grip it has is just so strong, you can never shake it off entirely. And, from what I've seen, you don't always want to either. Its a bitch of an illness, it really is.

No am ok just now, well as ok as I ever am. But your post made me think about it and the people I knew from group, one died, rest are still to some extent under its grasp. Ones a psychologist! But I know how much she struggles.

Maybe its useful to know that in someways - what I am striving for is to keep it under control not to get rid completely, because the latter seems impossible.

I'm really sorry my thread made you feel bad I really really am. I can ask for it to be removed if you want? I wasn't trying to have a detrimental affect on anyone, just am so worried and confused right now. Really am sorry

But yes - keeping it under control is the way forward. I have to allow myself little triumphs to keep it that way; "Today I am not eating X." "Today I will only drink water." etc. And its sick, and I hate myself for it, but its the only way to beat it; to let it win a little. sighs

Well I suffered in my early twenties and now for the last ten years (am 40) can honestly say am TOTALLY over it. I eat what I want when I want, I couldnt care less what weight I am, and my weight stabilised ten years ago when I stopped obsessing about food and my weight.

So yes I do believe you can get over it. Marriage and kids went a long way towards helping me get over it. I realised I wanted to be healthy for my husband and my kids, and I wanted to be a good example for them, not for them to learn bad habits or attitudes to food from me.

Like Nikita I'm 10 years on from an ED. I am totally over it and it's still always with me.

I found seeing my ED as drug to which I was addicted really helped. It gave me the power to wean myself off it and a way to give a place to the urges I still feel in times of stress.

Like an addiction, it's terribly easy to fall back into an ED and it is always with me, but I refuse to allow it to suck me back in. That's they way I satisfy my need for control over something, I suppose.

i am 18 years on from an eating disorder and have never slipped back. it took me years of really good therapy and a few health scares to cure me but i believe i am fully over it.

Good point Driven.

I still have the personality traits that I think pushed me towards my ED, am a perfectionist, a little bit obsessive/compulsive but I no longer direct these urges against my self image and appetite.

I can honestly say that I love my body now, and take good care of it, I love my food, take regular exercise and never ever diet.

I would be afraid that if I dieted, it would become compulsive and take over again, so now I refuse to diet.

I am slim now, I always was, (in my fucked up phase I thought I was overweight) and I am healthy. In a way, I am glad I had my ED young, cos now I know how important it is to be healthy and I want to keep it that way.

No, I've never slipped back either. Should have mentioned that! I did have slip backs when I was still weaning myself off though.

Really pleased for the three of you, that really is fantastic.

I'm 15 years recovered from anorexia, and pretty fully recovered. I'm not saying I'm completely well, and I feel its presence will always be there, like a shadow over my shoulder, but then I don't know many women who haven't had eating disorders who are completely normal around food.

I have even dared to diet, after having dd, and was able to do this slowly and healthily and then stop once I achieved a healthy BMI. I was momentarily tempted to take it further, but only momentarily - just remembering the awful, grinding obsession and the gnawing hunger of those years was enough to convince me tha tenough was enough.

hth and thinking of everybody who is struggling with this.

Yes Hester, it's true that it is always going to be with us in that we will never forget the awfulness of this disease.

Well done for being able to diet sensibly after your dd, that shows how strong you now are.

I am normal around food now in that I genuinely love food and never deny myself anything, I love chocolate! But I just cannot diet, I cannot even tolerate being really hungry now because it reminds me of a time when I was hungry 24/7, so I eat when I am hungry and i stop when I am full, and that seems to work for me as I have been the same weight for the last 10 years, bar when I was pregnant, and I have had 5 kiddies.

Yes, Nikita, I am absolutely terrified of hunger. I eat preventatively - just in case I get hungry. it is some kind of miracle that I am a normal weight - and I mean normal, I have no interest anymore in pretending that a BMI of 15 is normal.

Amen to that Hester, keep well.

Not read the other replies but no sirboobalot didnt make me feel bad at all honestly, just made me think about it thats all

It always scared me to think that my ED would never leave me or be out of my life. I tried all sorts of therapy/CBT/self-help. In the end, I opted for hypnosis and have never looked back.

Obviously this works on the subconcious mind, but if EDs were only in the conscious mind, we wouldn't have problems with them! If it was conscious, we would reason with it, and not engage in the behaviour that lets the ED 'win'. I'm not particularly into alternative therapies in general, was just at the end of my tether, and it changed the way I saw my relationship with food and my body. I think with other therapies you can control the symptoms of ED but until these relationships are fixed then you can't be totally rid of it.

Hope I didn't ramble too much! In short - YANBU, but think it is achievable!

I had anorexia 20 years ago and bulimia 10 years ago and I feel really recovered from both of those now - I think my relationship with food is pretty healthy (my food is not necessarily healthy, mind you) and my bathroom scales broke several months ago and I still can't be bothered to replace them. I'm hoping those problems are gone for good. I don't diet, either - dread being hungry.