To think that ballet teacher might encourage my nervous daughter

[littlebylittle]

My four year old dd has been going to ballet for a term and a half and we're prob going to stop. The ballet teacher is a bit cold IMO and dd doesn't like the start of classes. SHe has to be strongly encouraged by me to go in, but often does "moves" inbetween classes. Today dd refused to go in at all and te ballet teacher did absolutely nothing. Now I know it's different to school but surely anyone who is in that position might smile and jolly along a four year old. Are all ballet teachers like this? Might we do better at another class? Or should I justaccept that ballet isn't dd's thing? Not desperate for her to do it, just don't want the wrong teacher to put her off rather than the wrong activity, IYSWIM. No previous experence of ballet, apart from reading a ladybird bok about it when small!

Ballet is lovely for little girls, but sometimes it's a job finding the right teacher. I'd ask around at school/nursery where the other girls go, what the teachers are like - she might also be less nervous if there is another little girl there that she knows. I'd take her out of the one she is in until you can find a nice teacher.

Definately need to find a different teacher / class. My DD started ballet when 3.5 years (her choice) and their teacher was lovely with the younger ones. Some had to be peeled off their parents and shoved through the door, but they had several young student teachers (prob 14 or 15 years old) who took them by the hand and away into the class. We never saw what went on behind the doors but very rarely a child came out in tears to a waiting parent.

Now 4 years later we are still going but now I dont have to stay! It is great for them if they are interested but not worth pushing them if it is not their thing.

There's a little girl like this in my DD's ballet class. Our teacher lets her Mum sit at the back, as she's so distraught (the child) that she won't do the class if her Mum isn't there. Is it a very strict ballet school (concentrates on exams etc) or is your dd doing it for a bit of fun? If the latter, I would definitely look around for another class.

DD (almost 7) has done ballet since she was 2 1/2. The teacher is very welcoming and really makes it fun for the little ones. Things got a bit more serious around year 1, but still an element of fun for sure.

I agree, you could find a teacher that suits you. This one doesn't sound like she clicks with your daughter.

our ballet school is most definately fun for that age, and there's lots of encouragment form the teacher and her assistants to get everyone joining in. What probably helps though is that mum (or dad) is encouraged to stay and watch, so if anyone needs a cuddle, they can have one, and then join back in. DD1 is an assistant and loves the "babies" as she can pretend to be a fairy or a tree or a pixie without having to remember she's almost a grown-up .

Ask around other mums to see if there's another school - we get people having left another local one which is very strict (evening shows three nights on the trot during the week, everyone has to take part, no mums sitting at the side - most definately not the place for us!)

Move. I run a dance school, and the teacher should make it fun, imho, particularly for 4-8yo's. Then de-stressing for when they get to teens and there's pressure from everything else for exams.
Find another school, look for "dance" rather than just "ballet" as these places are sometimes inclined to take themselves very very seriously. Learning a whole range of dance styles is far more use to a young child than learning classical or Cecchetti ballet. Save that for later, if/when it's an interest. We do.

Thank you all so much. i feel so much better. Was really cross and sad at the end of the class. Shrinking and giddlwitch, where are your dance schools, if it's okay to ask? They sound lovely and just what we'd want. I just feel that at four the onus is on the teacher of whatever it is to make it fun and accessible for all the children in the class, even though later on it inevitably is about honing talents and skills. The teacher said on the phone before we joined all about the benefits of ballet for all ages and skills, it's just a shame that she doesn't see the practical ways of getting little ones involved. It's not even a particularly strict school on things like turn out. Heh ho, not everyone who runs activities for children likes or understands children!

depends I coach football and have senior infants in my school. There's only so much time you can spend encouraging the same shy child week in week out to join in without it being detrimental to the rest of the group. there's not much I can do with the youngest ones as they only seem to want there mums and beyond a hopeful smile and a "do you want to join in on (name of friend)'s team?" there's not much in the way of encouraging to be done.

But the child in question is 4.

Find a different teacher/class.

We didn't have great experiences of ballet. My 4 year old DD was told off because she couldn't (not wouldn't) sit cross legged. The teacher told her that everyone else could do it, so she was just being naughty. This despite us explaining that she simply couldn't do it - and she tried every night. The worst thing was DD had a humungous crush on the ballet teacher. Fortunately the next class up was at a less convenient time, so we took the opportunity to remove DD.

I went to ballet when I was 3 and hated it, so my mum said that I didn't have to go back, which I am grateful for. My DD (aged 4) had been going to a ballet class for several months without problem. However, at the Christmas show (which was just the parents sitting in on the class) the teacher didn't even try to control them and the kids ran about having a carry on. I asked DD if she wanted to keep going, she wasn't bothered, so I took her out. What a waste of money it was. She now goes to music and gymnastics, both of which she enjoys.
My feeling is that they are really young and while I want her to learn, she only has 6 months left until school, so I also want her to enjoy herself. Take yours out of the class if she doesn't like it.

mayor, a hopeful smile and a "do you want to join in with..." would have been nice! I know what you mean, though.

my email addy on profile. happy to say where on email, but not on public forum

thanks gigglewithch. Just checked your profile - shame, would be a long old commute for us!

she is 4 and she doesn't enjoy it. go to the park

Agree that at 4 if she doesn't like it why bother? It can be hard enough persuading them to go to classes they enjoy at times without sending them to ones they dislike. I'd leave the clubs until she is asking to go to them and doing it for her not for you.

Sorry but if she is that reluctant either she isn't really ready, the format or the teacher isn't right for her. At 4 I'd call it quits and start again elsewhere when she is a bit older. dd loved the idea of ballet at 3 but wouldn't participate in the lessons so we stopped. She resumed at 5 and is still going 4 years on. There are plenty of more relaxed dance classes for kids too.

really appreciate comments. dd really not keen so we're leaving it. Don't want her to get the wrong idea about clubs and activities by over encouraging her and making her feel she has to. Not everyone has structured teacher led hobbies and even to be saying this means I'm taking it too seriously! It only took this long to decide because she seems to have enjoyed the class once she's got over the beginning bit but even so just not worth it.

So, we stopped ballet. Offered finding new class, but really not up for it. But liked idea of gym. So different, lovely lady took her in holding her hand, smiley and dd all smiles at the end. Might try ballet again, might not, but classes are so dependent on who runs them aren't they?