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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

TO BE PISSED OFF WITH THE WHOLE LOT OF THEM!!!

13 replies

benbon · 01/03/2010 19:59

ok a little bit of history husband and i split july last year after being together 8 years with 2 DC daughter is nearly 7 and son is nearly 5.

ex MIL lives in oz and is coming over for a 4 week stay on the 13th march, since we seperated MIL has not once called to speak to her grandchildren and ex fil who lives 10 mins away has not seen or spoken to GC since before we split. mil herself has not even called or left a message asking to see the children once she is over here. we are friends on facebook and the only reason i knew she is comine over is because i saw a message she sent to someone else.

so i asked ex husband if he wanted to have the children any particular weekends in march so his mother could see them and if he did could he let me know, to which ive had no reply.

but now i have been offered the chance to go on a weekend away with my best friend to haven with the kids at the end off march which i have said yes too and the kids are coming to belfast with me on the weekend of the 13th march (i did ask my ex if he wanted to have the kids that weekend but he said he couldnt let me know that far in advance) so i had to book for them to come with me, its my nieces christening so i couldnt not go.!

so am i wrong to be pissed off with them all, thinking if there not bothered about seeing the kids why should i feel guilty about them being away when his mother is over???

OP posts:
benbon · 01/03/2010 19:59

sorry that is long!

OP posts:
compo · 01/03/2010 20:02

Ooh tricky one
maybe his mum feels embarassedi think you should tell your ex you've booked the kids to go away asap

lolapoppins · 01/03/2010 20:04

Sod them. Don't feel guilty because they can't be arsed. Feel sorry for you dc though, do they know their grandmother is coming?

benbon · 01/03/2010 20:06

yeah i told ex as soon as it was booked that there would be 2 weekends in march that he wouldnt be able to see them, his response was to tell me he is going to lanzarote on tuesday so wont see them on the first weekend either...

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ChippingIn · 01/03/2010 20:08

To be honest - I'd just stop feeling guilty. They haven't been in touch with you or the D(G)C's, she hasn't even told you she's coming over, ex didn't want to arrange anything in advance - what were you supposed to do, sit at home all of March so they could pick & choose when to visit the children they haven't even bothered with for 3 years???

Let them see the children if/when it suits you.

benbon · 01/03/2010 20:08

lola, have decided not to tell them incase they get excited and get let down.. if i know for definate that on a certain date they will see her i would tell them.. sad thing is my son found a picture of my ex, his twin and their mum the other day knew who daddy and his auntier were but didnt know who " the old lady in the middle is" his words not mine..

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lolapoppins · 01/03/2010 20:09

Just enjoy your weekends away with your children then and don't worry about anyone else. You have given your ex options, nothing more you can do.

benbon · 01/03/2010 20:11

thankyou chipping guilt is an awful thing isnt it... i just dont understand why there not chomping at the bit to see them... ex says he doesnt even know what date she is coming over... he is a rubbish lier though he just doesnt want to have to commit to a certain date.

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ande · 01/03/2010 20:12

YANBU

Enjoy Belfast with your children, I'm sure your relatives will be thrilled to see them, along with you of course!

You could send your exMIL a message along the lines of "Hear you're going to be over from Oz. The children and I are will be away (insert date), but let me know if you want to see (insert DCs names) let me know!"

benbon · 01/03/2010 20:17

we will have fab weekends! luckaly my family are very close so i think they make up for the lack off effort from their fathers side... if my mum doesnt see the kids for more then 2 days she is hammering on my door!!! lol

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Hullygully · 01/03/2010 20:19

They are all rubbish and you are fab for getting on with your lives despite them. Fuck them.

benbon · 01/03/2010 20:21

thankyou hully

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Hullygully · 01/03/2010 20:21

You are welcome. An awful lot of people are just plain horrid.

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