Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to feel a bit hurt by friend?

9 replies

minxofmancunia · 01/03/2010 10:36

V ggod friend very honourable and kind person, she's dds Godmother.

Recently managed to extricate herself from a dead end 8 year going nowhere relationship and moved from Manchester to South west to be nearer her family. Sad to see her go but pleased she was moving onwards and upwards.

Has been having a ball since she moved, lots of dates, going out etc seemed really happy. Has come to see us a couple of times which is lovely. Last time I was extremely stressed due to bf and relationship issues (have dd 3.5 and ds 5 months). When leaving she said, "you look like you could really do with some help, why do you never ask me?" I replied I didn't like to put upon people and she said "please please ask, I'll do whatever I can to help".

Anyway things got worse dh and me at each others throats, switching to ff v difficult, me being monitored by GP due to insomnia/exhaustion/mood disturbance/hallucinations. Contacted her and asked if we could book a weekend in in the next couple of months.

I got a text back saying ok, will call to arrange. No call. messaged her on Facebook, no contact back then texy again saying she would love to see us but wanted to co-incide it with a work thing up North. To cut a long story short she's not been in contact to sort anything out. I messaged her to say if she didn't want to come that was fine but to let me know as we have 2 dcs and have to be organised! (she's always going on about how she likes spontaneity ). Then a message from her saying how we meant everything to her. But still a refusal to commit.

This has been going on for 2 months. Have pretty much written her off as coming for a visit. That's fine just wish she hadn't fobbed me off. Also feel as she was one of my best friends. TBH it's the fact she's dds Godmother that bugs me a bit, she doesn't really take much interest. I understand she's single now and living the high life and we're just a boring family to her but didn't think she would be so flippant.

Have tried calling and messaged her last night, no reply. I'm obviously being avoided. The reason i messaged her last night was because i was worried about her due to her fb status updates, she seemed upset so asked if she was ok. No response but plenty of other facebook activity!

I'm wondering if i should just send her a message asking her whats wrong. I'm one to confront thangs and sort them but she's obviously one for avoidance.

Bit upset because I thought I knew her but feel like we the family "who mean the world to her" have been forgotten.

OP posts:
nancy75 · 01/03/2010 10:40

stop texting,facebooking ect and actually phone her!
i really think that half of the threads on mn wouldn't exist if people actually spoke to each other.its so easy to misread meaning into a text message.

nancy75 · 01/03/2010 10:40

stop texting,facebooking ect and actually phone her!
i really think that half of the threads on mn wouldn't exist if people actually spoke to each other.its so easy to misread meaning into a text message.

minxofmancunia · 01/03/2010 10:41

I so know what you mean nancy! I'm terrible for communicating electronically when i could just call, I hate talking on the phone!

Thing is I have called and left messages, feel like I'm pestering a bit. So have kind of left the ball in her court.

OP posts:
kreecherlivesupstairs · 01/03/2010 10:42

Wise words from Nancy. I refuse to use facebook and won't answer text messages. I am 45 not 14.

minxofmancunia · 01/03/2010 10:47

Hmmm she's mad for facebook though, she's on it about 5 times a day!!

She's constantly updating her status, has become quite braggy, talking about all her designer clothes purchases and z list celebrities she meets through her job. Can be quite sneery and patronising when I say I don't know who she's talking about.

OP posts:
kinnies · 01/03/2010 10:49

Sounds like she may be having some problems of her own.
I would phone her and see if shes ok.
Shes had some big life changes and maybe is not being herself.
Sorry to hear about your problems.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 01/03/2010 10:52

TBH with you, I am not sure she is the same person you described in your OP. If she is sneery and patronising I'm not sure I'd want to be friends with her.
FWIW, I'd give her a final chance and then wash my hands of it all. Life is too short.

Vivia · 01/03/2010 11:31

I think phonecalls are the way forward. Facebook/email/texts are easy to forget: you mean to reply and forget, or think you responded, or you misinterpret the message. It's all too nuanced. Pick up phone, sync diaries. It's also easy - if you're having a crap time or changing your life - to become reclusive and avoid friends. If your contact is all 'virtual' then it's easy to pretend that life's not out there . But if you pick up the phone, it's direct. My closest friends and I 'force' each other out of blue moments (we're quite tough-loveish) and we all admit that sometimes you just want the world to go away. Being friends is about knowing when to wade in and when to ease off. Works both ways, of course. Don't take it to heart.

Jamieandhismagictorch · 01/03/2010 13:26

minx - thank heavens I have found you. Go to page 18 of the "parenting pet peeves" thread, where I have left advice for you re: your DD's sleep. Hope it helps!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page