in not wanting to dress 6mth dd in black dress with red shrug in MAY?

[eggontoast]

AAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH. Me and DH love dipppy MIL to death, she's actually a really lovely one (it took 8 years and my birthing 2 children for us to see eye to eye), but she keeps buying clothes in sales, which either are too small or are for when baby gets bigger but out of season.

She takes off sale price tag, leaves full price tag on and gives to us. I just feel they are wasted money.

She buys loads and loads of stuff, probably spends £20 a month, but nearly all of it ends up on 'car boot' pile because it is either out of season (ie. coat in summer) and won't fit next year etc. I wish she would just buy one lovely, correct size and season thing with this money, she is addicted to sales.

FGS she has (without asking I add) bought a BLACK dress (very pretty but I would not even dress baby in black in winter) which is quite obviously winter fabric and a red wooly shrug and commented to SIL who is getting married in 22 May - 'Won't she look lovely at the wedding in this'. IN MAY.

I am being very ungrateful, and precious, but, I really don't want to upset her, but dont want daughter dressed in black and red in May.

Please help!

lol MmeLindt -

wingedvictory - no - I suppose that would come under essentials, which come out of 'normal' money. Basically, hubby has Iphone, £35 per month, and I get a dd of £35 per month into a seperate savings account, to spend on myself (although often spend on children) without having to worry how much of main account is left etc. I can just guilt free spend. Wonderful.

gtamom - that often happens.

BLUMIN HECK - ive just realised there is a fly in the ointment of my plan - the blooming dress is 6 - 9 months so will not fit till about the week of the wedding anyway. Bother.

I think I might just be brave, and say, I was planning on a pale dress with a little bright flowery detail and a few sparkles. I have been saving for months. Truth. If she takes offence, then, tough. I am trying to be reasonable here. I'm sure it won't upset her or anything.

I could sell on ebay, but, that's still 'wasted' to me ie. daughter never wore! I currently put them on the 'car boot' pile (I've never actually done one because dh always has a massive throw away cull before I get chance).

I just wish she wouldn't waste her money. It's a shame, she really really loves buying my children things, and I am grateful, but, you cannot put a 6 month old in 3 month old clothes if they don't fit, or put a baby in summer clothes in winter and visa versa or they will be too hot/cold.

How about an internet shopping/browsing afternoon with her, spend an hour or so going through various sites, dropping humongous hints about the colours/outfits dd looks good in, along with "thats lovely but it'll be winter before it fits so is a no go" comments.

Her intentions are good, maybe she just needs a bit of stage management?

With Ebay though you are likely to get back the same if not more than what MIL paid. BNWT items sell very well on Ebay (especially Next, H&M, GAP, Mothercare etc)

Just tell her its far too small and you have an outfit in her size already.Black on a baby, yes older children and adults but a baby! I can understand navy blue thats nice but black, to me you wear it if you want to look slim or to a funeral.

I could get over it being black, if it were a winter wedding (i could never get over the red and gold shrug though). It is because it is the end of May that I am really struggling.

I am just going to be brave and tell her the truth - A. that I really like the dress, but I feel it is a bit dark for summer, and I will save it for winter (hope she won't notice it may not fit by next winter, unless babe is a mini 9 mth old and can wear past age range). and B. I have been saving up for wedding outfits for months and really want to enjoy spending it and looking glam (for once) as a family.

I´m not sure-I think I need to see a pic of the dress & shrug before I can decide

This is gorgeous and summery.

So are these

www.mothercare.com/Mothercare-Californian-red-gingham-dress/dp/B0039T8N0I/sr=1-67/qid=1267457 859/ref=sr167/278-5755668-1918648?_encoding=UTF8&m=A2LBKNDJ2KZUGQ&n=76102031&mcb=core

www.mothercare.com/Unisex-Fashion-spot-romper-dress/dp/B0039U9TM8/sr=1-96/qid=1267457859/ref= sr196/278-5755668-1918648?_encoding=UTF8&m=A2LBKNDJ2KZUGQ&n=76102031&mcb=core

www.mothercare.com/Mothercare-Crushed-taffeta-dress/dp/B0039U7RUE/sr=1-95/qid=1267457859/ref= sr195/278-5755668-1918648?_encoding=UTF8&m=A2LBKNDJ2KZUGQ&n=76102031&mcb=core

exactly nappyaddict, thanks. She may never even mention that the dress is supposed to be for wedding so I won't have a problem.

When it comes up, I'll say - oh, I've just ordered a dress on line for the wedding, I didn't realise you bought that dress for wedding sorry.

Unless your DD is being a bridesmaid then only YOU get to choose her outfit for the wedding

Is she doing it as a sneaky thing to try and be in control or is she doing it inncocentely ??

i am going to be brave and say i think yabu

babies don't care what they wear anyway. i think it sounds like mil wants to have osme input in your dd and whats wrong with that. put dd in the dress for the wedding and let mil take some enjoyment from that - hyou get to dress dd every other day.

after that maybe you could communicate a bit more with mil. for example i know my mum loves buying clothes for my dd so i just tell her what i will prob need in the next few months (booties/sleepsuits/whatever) then she buys the right item but can choose whatever design/colour/brand she likes.

my dd (5 months) has a right mish mash of clothes given to me from various sources plus the more eclectic things i like to buy and sometimes she looks v random but i dont care - shes not just mine to enjoy and fgs its just clothes!

It is a problem, isn´t it?

My MIL is so worried about buying the wrong thing that she buys nothing

I think it is a bit cheeky of MIL to buy an outfit for a family event-most parents are going to do that themselves.

That said, maybe it was only a suggestion that baby wear it for the wedding-not a demand?

Had the same prob with my MIL and my DS - she kept buying him combat stuff which does not suit him and he want wear he is nearly 6. The other month when she did it again dh had to bite the bullet and just say it was not what ds wanted to wear! She took the huff for abit but has now started buying him shirts - now have too many of these!!

THink they just see stuff and buy it I also if I can take stuff back and swop it. When asked about it they have either outgrown it or it is still too big!!