Empty threats are pointless, stupid and only result in your children losing respect for you and to stop believing you so it doesn't even stop them doing what they're doing!

[heQet]

Well? Am I?

• this is a gang up on my husband and tell him he's wrong thread, btw -

Saying such daft things as "you're going to run 500 on the treadmill" "you don't want any more pocket money from now on" etc etc - things he doesn't MEAN, that he's no intention of actually doing, just saying for god knows what reason - it's stupid and it's pointless.

If you want to tell your child that the consequence for their behaviour will be X - DON'T SAY IT UNLESS YOU MEAN IT!

Again and again and again, he comes out with his no more pocket money / run 500 or 1000 on the treadmill but he doesn't mean it. He's just saying it.

So they do something, he says oh you want to run 500 on the treadmill heh-heh-heh they yell sorry sorry sorry. 2 minutes later and repeat.

Either you carry out a punishment or you don't bloody say it! Just don't give the same warning over and over and over that you have no intention of carrying out - it makes you look a FOOL and the kids quickly learn that you are full of crap, and don't respect what you are saying anyway.

Yanbu.

My neighbour was like this. Yelling and shouting and threatening her kids. Ridiculous things like "do you want me to phone Daddy at work and tell him what you did?" or threatening to cancel trips out/special treats. She never followed through with any of those punishments and her boys were soooooooooooo naughty.

Thank jeff she's moved out now.

I always follow through on the sane threats (ones I used to make when he was really too young to understand, like "I'll give you to the wolves" were obviously ridiculous and just said to make me feel better) - but DH does let me down sometimes as well. So, "if you don't eat all that you won't have any pudding", DS goes "fine, don't care" (or 2yo equivalent thereof), then a few minutes later DH is offering him ice cream.

I do usually give him a couple of chances though, to make sure he has heard me - and then do what I've said I will. Am v. impressed at leaving Disneyland a few mins after entering - did you get a refund on the tickets??

I used to work in a crystal shop in Covent Garden - once this rather posh woman came in with her ~3yo who was a nightmare - all she did was keep on saying "dahling, don't do that, mummy doesn't like it" while I followed him round the shop catching things. In the end I said loudly - "if you break that your mummy WILL have to pay for it" - she left quite quickly after that, giving me a dirty look as she went.

sorry - heQet, YAsoNBU!

I had friends that always threatened to take their DCs home when they were awful when out somewhere with me, or at my home. For years their behaviour was awful and I often wished they would all go home.

They are now in their early teens and I put off seeing the parents 'cos the kids are still painful to be around.

I'm horrible, aren't I? I hope that I've learned something and follow through any threats with my own baby DD when she's older...

Heard a woman in a local cafe say to her small ds "You need to stop shouting, if you don't be quiet the lady will come and tell you to leave". Bit her on the a##e because the cafe owner overheard and, not realising it was a comment to try and quieten her son, said to the little boy "Leave? Oh no, I wouldn't ask you to leave! I like your jumper"
The boy just gave his mother such a triumphant yet almost pitying look, I thought the mum was going to cry

DD spent the first day of our disney holiday sat in the hotel as a consequence to vile, demanding behaviour. She was good as gold after that. as I sat and seethed at wasted money

I am so with you... it is very annoying, but I think what I find worse is when my husband turns around and complains that the children never listen to him, or do as he asks.... hmm, wonder why that might be

At Disneyland story - That brought back painful memories of me and my brother spending our one day in LA at Disneyland but being marched back to the hotel early (and missing the evening parade) because we were bickering - We were as good as gold for the rest of our trip in the US!

Ahhhhhhh - so my parents did have it right after all!

Is this a MN record? Everyone agrees in AIBU!

Where are all the parents who make empty threats?

Otherside - they said they were going to post, and then didn't

I know a mum from DS's nursery who threatens her 3yo to make her go to bed "if you don't sleep the wolf will come and eat you".

This is wrong on so many levels. Not only the wolf is never going to come and the girl will soon realise her mum is full of crap, but how does this make fora good night's sleep? Poor lamb must be lying in bed all scared until she falls asleep

YANBU

But we sotrt of turn it aorund here... sometimes when I am really annoyed but don't just want to shout at them or whatever 9after all, it's not always something they are doing- can be me with PMT or tired or whatever) then we have a 'silly threats game'- eg I will ban them from speaking, or from moon travel or whatever. They know the game well, and it brings instant hilarity and a relief to the tension (boys rpetending not to speak when I am looking etc) but I don wonder what people would think if they could hear us LOL

heh, that sounds like a fun preachy, very inventive. Very different though from banning tv if they hit each other. Now I really mean it. OK, last time, I swear I'll ban TV. What was that? Did you hit him again? Didn't you hear what I said about bannning TV?

Kurri -that has made me LOL

YANBU.

You also need to take into account how the punishment is going to affect you/others before making the threat. I try not to threaten stuff that will actually piss me off to have to follow through on. And yes if you do follow through the first couple of times, they don't tend to happen again.

i carry out my threats............did i regret throwing the entire contents of my teens messy bedroom out of the window............well, only when the neighours saw me throwing things in the front garden.

anyway teen was suitably shamed by his own meesy underpants hanging on the hedge.

he is still messy, however, but any threat is taken seriously in our home.

You have to be the Keyser Soze of the parenting world...........

Thanks, LeQueen. I must be vigilant as so I don't have to eat humble pie if my DD grows up to be a brat. I always knew it would only be easy to be the perfect parent until I had a child of my own

I do try not to fall into this trap, but will admit to threatening to chop off DS's thumb if he did not take it out of his mouth.

Ah well.

Here's something that I hope makes you smile- it does me every time I think of it!! I have 3 girls, one's 21 and twins of 18. Many a time I've asked them to pick their shoes up from inside the front door and put them on the shoe shelf, as if they are left in the porch someone (usually me) trips over them when I come in. One night I threatened (yet again) to throw them outside if they weren't picked up by the time I had my bath. Twins did their 'Yeah, yeah' answer and nothing got done. When I'd gone downstairs to check, I was jumping up and down with joy to find the shoes still there, picked them up, opened the door and hurled them outside. As they bounced off the neighbours hedge and landed in a muddy puddle I had a moment of pure delight, further enhanced when it started raining again about 5 minutes later. The following morning, when they were looking for their shoes to wear to school they were not impressed to find them dripping on the lawn. (I'm laughing at the memory even now!) Funnily enough, they don't leave their shoes about now, and if they do and I ask them to pick them up they usually do it straight away. As my girls all have part-time jobs, their own cars, can drive, and are too old to send to bed early my limit of threats are somewhat diminished, but that one was marvellous. I also threatened to take their hair straighteners away if they left them on AGAIN, and guess what? Having an irate teenager standing in front of you with dripping hair, no straighteners and telling her that said straighteners are in my drawer at work was another moment to treasure. Bless 'em!

YANBU. If you don't carry it out you are making a rod for your own back.

I love the sound of Preachy's game.

This thread has reminded me of when I was a kid. My dad used to joke with me that if I was naughty I would spend the night in garage. When he used to say it I knew he was joking and I would always say, yes I would love to. It became a running joke throughout my childhood and it is a really nice memory.