to be surprised that a lesbian was too embarrassed to buy a 'girlfriend' birthday card?

[foreverastudent]

A lesbian friend of mine said that she ordered her girlfriend's birthday card online because she wouldn't want to go into a shop and buy a 'girlfriend' card.

I was quite taken aback. I mean surely these days people shouldn't feel the need to hide their sexuality? Or am I being naive?

To put in context this woman has been out for over a decade and hasn't ever had any sexual harrassment issues/discrimination due to her sexuality.

She lives in a cosmopolitan city with a large gay scene. So surely making such a purchase is a non-issue?

I live in London, my gay friends still get abuse when they hold hands in public outside Soho. Cosmopolitan cities aren't that cosmopolitan.

Maybe she just wanted to order a personalised one? You know the kids with pictures & all on it?

I regularly buy 'wife' cards....and in the past have bought girlfriend, partner & fiancee cards - all for my feckless brothers. Never has it once crossed my mind that the shop assistants care about what I'm purchasing - as long as I pay for it!!

Crikey - as if the shop assistant would give two hoots!

I would be embarrassed about buying an assigned (girlfriend / husband / brother / daughter) card, though - horrible things, when you can get lovely, unpersonalised ones on the assumption that the receive is already aware that they're a girlfriend / husband / brother / etc...

She specifically said that she wouldn't buy a card with the word 'girlfriend' on it from a shop in case the assistant would think she was a lesbian. She did want to buy a card with that word on it btw.

Poor her. Must be very sad to have to worry about things like that.

I love the new range of Mr and Mr or Mrs and Mrs engagement cards in Smiths.

And in fact I go out of my way to buy stuff like that whenever I can.

Some gay friends of ours moved house recently and I bought them Mr and Mr pillow cases as a house warming present.

As another poster has said, it could be for a male friend who has asked her to do a favour, surely?

Some people (gay and straight) get embarrassed/shy about all sorts of things around emotions/love/relationships.

I've got lesbian friends and I suspect that one of them wouldn't buy a card with "girlfriend" on for her partner. Shes just intensely private about her sexuality, partly because she worries that it will cause her daughter problems. Her partner would happily discuss it with the shop assistant if they showed an interest

Oh, no, I've had similar to this. I can easily imagine a shop assistant assuming you've picked the wrong card by mistake, for example.

Even in a very gay-friendly area of London, my friend has had doctors completely unable to understand that she has never had sex with a man but is not a virgin. After a while, I think it does get annoying!

• What I'm trying to say is, OP, your friend probably doesn't want to 'hide' her sexuality, but being a crusader 24/7 might get a bit tedious, no?

LeninGrad

If I do, theres a good chance my cat has sneaked into your house again -do me a favour and kick her out and send her back next door please

I can understand, I'm a young lesbian and my girlfriend feels the same. She said she could never go to a shop and buy me a card because she feels very self-conscious about what the person selling it to her will think.

The British society is gay-'TOLERANT' by hardly accepting. You can see the big difference compared to other countries.

People from the LGBT community regularly come up in soaps etc in other european countryies, it's normal. Here whenever that happens it actually makes the papers and radio. The UK is light years behind the rest of Europe so its LGBT citizens feel uncomfortable. It's understandable.

lol, don't be scared LeninGrad. I'm pretty sure you're not my friends/neighbours.

No, these days people 'shouldn't' feel the need to hide their sexuality, but the reality may feel very different if it's you on the receiveing end of a 'look', or hasn't had time yet to recover from childhood or family disapproval, or whatever.

I'm not sure there can be any 'should' about how other people feel.