to expect my husband to answer me when I talk to him?

[Irishchic]

He does this all the time...I'll say something, not necessarily a question, and he won't respond/answer so then I dont know if he has heard me.
So I will say, did you hear what I said, and he'll go "yeah" and look at me as if I am being unreasonable.
But I think it's rude. And I genuinely have to ask because I dont know if its just that he hasnt heard me, and if i need to repeat it.
9 times out of 10 it's just becuase he cant be bothered to respond.
Today for eg, he's about to take 4 dc's out to visit his aunt. I've a big bag of empty bottles in the passenger seat so I tell him that they are there because I wouldnt want any of the dc's in that seat or they will be mucking with them.
He doesnt respond. So I go, did you hear me, and he looks at me, frowninig, exasperrated and goes yes, I did get that you know.

Then why not just BLOODY ANSWER ME in the first place!!! I didnt say that, just thought it btw.

DH used to do this to me, but since I got a laptop and am always engrossed on MN it tends to be me that does it to him .

Oh gosh this rings a bell . Happens all the time. If I repeat myself he says I told him already; if I don't, he says I never told him... What's wrong with saying 'yes' to acknowledge I said something???
My bugbear is him filtering out my voice to listen to crap on the radio! As far as I am concerned, real people = priority. Esp as he now does it to dd1, too. Oh, and I have threatened to get things in writing from now on after we agreed on a name for our newborn dd2, I told my family etc, and then he suddenly denied all knowledge of us having discussed it!!!!!
What is it with men?

This is my DH to a tea.
It drives hell into me as I always have to say everything twice.
I sometimes speak in a 'shouting' voice to get my point across, only to be met with a patronising 'now you're being silly'
GRRRRRR, my DS's are almost as bad but not quite, I am going to train them better.

haha,

mine often tries to convince that I IMAGINED telling him so and so!!!!!

Mummygirl, I thought that mine was wonderful for a while too! Now I have one who treats me with respect.

LMFAO- My DH does this ALL the time but the best thing is, when I ask him if he's heard me- he claims he HAS actually answered. I'm like yes dear IN YOUR MIND MAYBE...

We are mere months away from communicating in a series of grunts and squeeks. Or telepathy!

DH informs me that he only listens to me when I am saying something important.

He will not tell me how he knows if I am saying something important if he is NOT BLOODY LISTENING.

Gah.

YANBU!
Dh does this ALL the time. I have decided to ignore him when he speaks to me and see how he bloody likes it!

YANBU- my DH is another one like this! I usually follow it up with something like "Oh, and I slept with the milkman AND the postman today, dear" If that doesn't get a reaction I know he isn't listening. If it does I smile sweetly and say "Just checking you hadn't gone suddenly deaf, dear"

But tis also a good excuse- eg "But I told you I wanted to spend £XXX on that skirt and you just nodded" He never knows whether I did actually tell him or not

Extremely annoying

I seem to follow most things I say with "Did you hear me?"

The surprised/indignant response that sometimes follows annoys me even more

I think he does live in a slightly adjacent world most of the time, so perhaps surfacing time is required

My Dh used to do this. I just went mental at him and told him that I would not continue a relationship with somone who thought my feelings were so unimportant! Take no prisoners! IME men people take the piss as much as they can

I actually heard some fab advice from John 'me, gay?!!' Barrowman the other day on Woman's Hour. Apparently it's common even amongst those who follow the yellow brick road. He said that when he wants to talk to his partner about something serious, he always starts by saying something along the lines of 'oy, look at me, LOOK at ME'.

My DP is so bad that the other day, when he asked me when was I going to see Mika in concert, he complained and said why hadn't I reminded him. Turns out he missed the phone conversation I had about it with his mother, in which he took part, whilst sitting right there next to me on the sofa, and had arranged to drop his car in for its MOT the day before, ready to pick up the evening I need him home early to look after DD.

Did he tell me that he planned to use my car for those two days? Did he fuck!!!

i do this. don't answer dh. somethings just don't need an answer. sometimes i just think it and don't say it - so i might think "thank you" after i have been given a brew - but forgot to say it outloud

dh knows me of old and just takes my non verbal as agreement

You are probably NBU but I can't say much as I do this to DH all the time so not a total 'man thing'!

My DH does this and it drives me crazy and I think it's so rude. Sometimes I'm lucky enough to get an ahah or a grunt but often, no reaction at all.

I think men are limited to a maximum of 200 words a day and when they have used them up, that's it! Silence!

Mine also says I haven't told him things when I know I have. Day before man was coming to build some doors for us, he tells me that we hadn't actually agreed and he wasn't sure if he wanted them. I'd been talking about it for two months ..........

DH used to do this as well - claimed he was thinking about the answer.
I had to tell him loudly and repeatedly that he didn't have to decide straight away just react! A grunt would be fine or an actual word or two but REACT!

I am so glad to know that my DH is not the only one with this irritating habit. He says that I mumble at him or that his hearing is fine because he had it checked recently. I think his hearing is fine, it is his listening that is not so good and I only mumble when I am really pissed off with him

He gets the hint when I slip elephants into the conversation. Eg. what do youwant for dinner - chicken, elephant or mince? He usually hasn't fully registered everything I've said but has a vague feeling that something didn't sound quite right.

Emmabemmasmom - I like your idea. DH might notice if I start stripping off.

Yep. Mine does this too.

Maybe the OP's husband has finally listened after 13 years!!!!!!!

*ZOMBIE!!!!!!!!!

I'm the OP and we are divorced now 🙁

Congratulations OP!