Limiting computer time

[spybear]

SO I have 2 DC's that have Nintento DS's. Ages 5 and 6. They also have a game on their dad's Xbox, I would rather they have none of these things but there you go.

So I have said on school days they are allowed half an hour on games, and an hour at the weekend. My DS aged 6 is obsessed with computer games, always has been, when he's not on them he thinks about them and plans what he's going to do next. DS aged 5 is not so bad.

So yesterday in the car with my friend and sister`and they started ganging up on me [sob] saying that the reason DS1 is obsessed is because I limit it so much and if I just let him be he'd be ok.

So when I have been poorly before I admit to letting them play as much as they want, they will play all day and not make any sensible decisions. DS1 also plays alot when he visits his friends house, as I don't want to tell other people what to do.

So AIBU with my half an hour a day? Am I fuelling their obsession?

I don't think YABU at all. I have 1 DS age 7 and am so "mean" that he doesn't have a Nintendo DS, Wii, computer game etc! I do let him on the computer, for a max 30 mins at a time, but not every day as he simply doesn't ask.

YANBU

My nephews (9yrs, 6yrs) and my dd (4yrs) would happily sit and play games ALL DAY if they weren't limited, and although I don't see playing computer games as being detrimental in itself, I do think if it's stopping them enjoying other things, such as playing outside, with friends, reading, sleeping etc it isn't good for them.

I also think you more you do something sometimes, the more addictive it gets, I sometimes have to limit my own internet usage!

YANBU

I have the same rule and my DD is 10 - my 5 year old doens't have ANY screen time

You are right...completely..

I can understand not having a DS or games at all, I would love that. But seems as they have one anyway is the half hour rule just making it worse?

Knowing how frustrating it is when you've just unlocked a new level on a game, I wonder if half an hour a night is too short.

Hold on hear me out before shoot me down -
maybe it would be better to have it as 1 hour e.g. on a Tuesday and Thursday and not at all on Mondays and Wednesdays. And 2 hours on a Saturday or Sunday and not on the alternative day.

YANBU

I had to ban all computer time during the week because just 30 minutes was actually making them worse. I think the games were so exciting that nothing else was interesting enough to do when they had finished playing.

The rule now is that they can play at weekends when all homework and music practice is done, and we try to plan lots of activities so that they don't play all day. If we say they have had enough they have to stop, and we can always use the threat of no computer time as a punishment.

IME, a computer time ban is the most effective threat, better even than a pocket money fine

Have just been discussing with dh, who plays computer games himself, he agrees with chocices that half an hour is too short to really get anywhere in a game, and that you'd be better allowing more gaming time, less frequently.

I agree totally with you OP.
DS1 is not even 5yo yet! and he he plays on DHs playstation. He can be very obsessive about it but now has 20 mins on a timer each week day and thats it. He is much better about it now he knows exactly when he can play and when not - doesnt pester about it the rest of the time!

Mine would play all night if they could, so the rule is no TV or computers at all on schooldays, except Wednesday afternoon for 2 hours (and that's only to keep the younger ones away from ds1's piano lesson). At the weekend it depends what else we're doing, but the rule is that when I say so they have to turn whatever it is off straight away (because we're going out or it's dinner time or whatever) otherwise the following weekend they're not allowed to watch or play at all. This works well, probably because I have enforced it once or twice.

YANBU although I admit I dont limit it at the moment. My daughter just isnt that interested even though our house is full of computers/games consoles (husband and me!). She will play for a few mintues and then get bored same with my son although he is only 3. I am probably the opposite to most people on the thread because I cant wait until she is old enough to join in with games!.

YANBU

You are not fuelling an obsession. I know kids your DS's ages who are obsessed and they don't have limited time, or they have different limited time. Kids will play on these games as much as they can whether it is limited or not.

I also have a policy similar to yours, only half an hour on the computer at weekdays (apart form homework, all homework is set online by the school) and then two hours a day at the weekend maximum, or 1 hr if he also watches a dvd.

We also have problems with this. I have found a weekly time limit (set on the computer by user) better with dd1 (11), she has to manage her time over the week - if she uses it all up on day 1, then that's her loss!! In fact, since bringing this in, she has actually played on it less overall. But perhaps this works better with older children, might be too much to ask of a 5/6 year old.

I was thinking of getting mine to earn time by doing other things. EG 1 hour of football earns 30mins computer. This because I don't want to have zombie couch potato children who stay in their rooms rather than do anything else. Is this too complicated and control freaky do you think?

I think that you might like to think about total screen time too and give them the option of how they spend the time. It's worth setting limits on it now so that they are used to it being rationed as once they hit teenagedom, it's nigh on impossible.

YANBU.
DS (10) is not allowed on wii etc mon-thursday, but is at the weekend- but only up to 2 hours. What with sport, homework (and Monopoly city) it's enough.
He protested at first and we had a lot of "x's mum let him" but I ignored it.