AIBU or expecting too much?

[Julezboo]

Brief outline, we are visiting family 200 miles away. I am doing all the driving cos dh's licence expired. I got up with ds fri night after he didn't settle till 1am and I got up with him at 7 sat shortly followed by dh.

We have a family event today which finishes at teatime. Again I settled ds late last night, I got up with him through the night! He just woke up again now and I nudged dh who grunted at me so I had to sort ds out again!

Now dh is snoring. I am shattered and I want to kick him!

I have got to drive another 200 miles again later grrrrr I can't help but think he's lazy for not sorting out his licence and for not having the sense to think about giving me sleep cos I have to drive!

Yanbu, can you go in, kick him out of bed and grab an extra hour? Tell him he can snooze in the car if he moans!

YANBU
It is unreasonable to expect him to know this is how you feel. Tell him what you've put on here

YANBU give him a kick & tell him to get his lazy arse out of bed! Bloody men

Agree, he's being thoughtless, but he's unlikely to be telepathic, or even much good at picking up on sighing, rolling eyes and general grumpiness.
Be explicit, get louder if you need to and don't nudge him. Shove him out of bed.

have you TOLD him or ASKED him to help? Men are not telepathic (or telepathetic) you need to converse with them to get them to do stuff.

you ANBU for being annoyed but are BU for not saying anything.

Why cant he drive? Surely you can renew or reapply online and he would be covered until a new one arrives?

YANBU. but just don't do it. Shove him and say 'Your turn' then go back to sleep.

Oh, can I add as a hint for the future?
When your DS is a teenager, he will probably need the same clarity and explicit laying out of what you expect from him. he won't just 'know' what you expect.

If you lie down and write doormat on your face people are going to walk all over you.

Get up and use your voice.

What Tabitha said.

Don't do it.

I've even gone so far as to take off in the car, go park somewhere, and sleep in there.

Too fucking bad!

I don't have time or patience for grown adults who don't pull their weight, male or female, because I pull mine.

Agree with GoblinChild, expat and others. Don't do it, and then your DH will have to, but you have to tell him, firmly.

Oh, and yes, I've done that in winter, too.

I just hung onto my Marmot mummy bag designed for camping in the Himalayas, found a friendly picnic area (deserted at this time of year), got comfy in the backseat and was off to the land of Nod in no time.

I can sleep in just about any place so long as I'm warm enough.

How does a driving licence expire???

When the calander goes past the date that is on your licence?

So he knew the date it would expire WELL in advance?

Not a uk drivers licence then as they don't tend to expire

I'd say get used to it as he doesn't seem to be bothered about not being able to drive if he can't be bothered to renew it!!

uk driving licences do expire every 10 years - the new card sytle cards expire after 10 years (the old paper green stlye licence doesn't expire)

ps do take a photocopy of driving licence vbefroe sending to dvla - as they are known to lose the licence and then you need to retake test unless you can prove you already have a licence - so photocopy it

Took mine in the 80's lol!! So old style

how does he get to work or Anywhere else then op?
Are you expected to do all the driving now?

DO they? I didn't realise they expired now, what a PITA!

OP - I hope you woke your lazy-arsed DH up and made him do something!I would refuse to drive anywhere for him again until he sorts his frigging licence out! He is mightily taking the piss and you are just letting him!

yes it has the date they expire on the licence, it doesn't matter when you took your test - my dad took his test in the 60's but he has moved and has the next style licence - which runs out in 2012.

I havn't moved house since they introduced new licence so atm my doesn't run out until around 2037!

YABU for not waking him up and making it crystal clear that as you were doing all the driving, in the interests of safety he MUST make sure he takes care of the night duties so you are well rested.

He is being unreasonable for that being something you would have to tell him, rather than something he could work out for himself!

But if he can't work it out, don't be a martyr. Tell him.

I had to get the new one last year (eventually) with my married name on it. I had just never looked that closely at it to notice there was an expiry date. Pants.
Thanks though, Ivykaty.

Sorry I didnt realise this had posted LOL Was posting from my phone and it sai dmy username was wrong and we have just got home!

I DID tell him today. He is going to renew his licence tomorrow first thing.

And yes I do drive, I drop him off on the way to drop DC's off at school its the way it is, not lucky enough to have two cars!!