Ok, so he's a bit (a lot) of a bastard, but oh god, the thought of never seeing him again, never talking to him again, never knowing him, just makes me wants to curl into a tiny little ball and not see any light.
He hasn't slept with anyone else (I don't think). Flirted, yes. Kissed, perhaps. Lied to me about girls he's 'friends' with. Definitely. Thrown ridiculous tantrums over things I have never made an issue out of. ALWAYS.
But I'm not some sort of crazy mental partner, actually quite tolerant of this bs.
Why is it ok for him to act a certain way, and for it to be FINE, and yet, I can't do that. I can't act that way without a huge fallout.
Why do I do EVERYTHING for him, and would do anything for him to make sure he is ok, and he is happy, when I'm clearly not the most important person in his life?
Maybe I am being unreasonable, and maybe I am just having a tantrum, but surely as a couple, two people should feel equally imporant to each other and make equal efforts to make a relationship work?
I love him, and care for him so much, but just can't shake the feeling that he doesn't feel as strongly. Or that I love him, and he knows that, and just abuses it.
I know I should leave him, but I just can't.