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AIBU?

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Original poster

Ear piercing for 11 year old

34 replies

oldernowiser · 27/02/2010 17:49

Grand daughter who's 10 has been asking for about 6 months if she can get her ears pierced.(kids live with us so not being interfering grand mother)

I'd prefer her to wait, but she's quite mature (sometimes) so I've agreed to her having it done in the summer holiday before she goes to senior school, when she'll be 11.

I now wish I hadn't, but can't go back on it. Am I being unreasonable to let her have it done at this age?

OP posts:
MamaG · 27/02/2010 17:51

After MUCH soul searching I allowed my 10 yo to have hers pierced after talking at length about how much it will or will not hurt, after caer etc

she's been very sensible and looked after them very well and i don't regret it,

SloanyPony · 27/02/2010 17:52

No, I think its about the right age, she's old enough to take care of the wound soon after having it done, etc. I think preteen/tweenie onwards is fine if its their request and they take it seriously. I'd have LOVED it if my mother had let me at that age - most my girlfriends had had it done by that age, if that helps, yet I wouldn't have been one of the first if she had.

foxinsocks · 27/02/2010 17:53

yes I think it's fine

dd is in yr 5 (age 9) and had them done at the end of last year

it's been fine. As long as they are old enough to look after them themselves

Pineapplechunks · 27/02/2010 17:54

So long as she knows that it hurts and they may become infected if she doesn't look after them properly and you only let her wear sensible earings for school then I fail to see the problem. It's not like she wants her eyebrows, nose, tongue, lip, whatever pierced, it's just her ears.

janeite · 27/02/2010 17:55

That is the age at which both of my dds had it done: they were fine (and I am generally mean mummy, allegedly).

The holiday gives them time to get used to them and to have the chance to leave them in a while without needing to remove them for PE.

sayithowitis · 27/02/2010 17:58

If you are going to have it done, make sure it is at the very beginning of the summer holidays as they take about six weeks to heal and many secondary schools ( round here anyway) do not allow any jewellery to be worn at all, not even simple stud earrings.

If you really don't want her to have it done, maybe you could investigate whether her secondary school allows earrings to be worn? If not, it might give you a reason to suggest holding back a while. Personally, I think it is better to wait. I had mine done at 16 and didn't feel hard done by at having to wait at all.

2old4thislark · 27/02/2010 17:59

Agree - good time - same as my daughter. Ear piercing places are always very busy as the children break up for the summer holidays!

fluffles · 27/02/2010 18:01

my parents made me wait till i was 13 and i honestly agonised over it almost every day through the first two years at secondary school.

i wouldn't put any child through that... i think 11 is old enough.

Takver · 27/02/2010 18:03

Agree - even when I was at school back in the dark ages (well, 1980) everyone had them done by age 11

RustyBear · 27/02/2010 18:03

I let DD have hers done at that age - actually she had them done after school on the last day but one at primary school, so it was after their swimming gala, but she could show them off at school before they all left. She looked after them herself and they were healed by the time she got to secondary school.

Original poster
oldernowiser · 27/02/2010 18:04

Thanks for your replies. Her idea is to have it done on the afternoon they break up for holidays! The secondary school do allow sensible earings. I've said yes because she discussed it in such a sensible way (and school holiday was her idea so that they've settled down before school starts)

She just seems so young to be growing up this fast iyswim

I think I'll get her some really pretty studs for her birthday in June

OP posts:
ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 27/02/2010 18:08

I was 10
I think it's fine myself

PixieOnaLeaf · 27/02/2010 18:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

CirrhosisByTheSea · 27/02/2010 18:39

I think the summer holiday before starting secondary is a very good time. It's a nice way of marking that rite of passage to secondary school and all the independence that comes with that. Don't worry, I don't think pretty little studs look wrong at all on this age group and don't look over-mature.

Coldhands · 27/02/2010 19:18

I think this is the right age tbh. I lived with my nan and she wouldn't let me have them done at all. For my 10th birthday my dad took me in town and got them done for me (I stayed with him at weekends).

I don't know why my nan wouldn't let me, she never gave a reason but I was sensible enough and old enough.

Original poster
oldernowiser · 27/02/2010 20:33

Coldhands, probably because she was your nan, like me. I do worry sometimes if I'm a bit old fashioned, (though at 48 I'm hardly geriatric) and haven't had a girl before(they're my son's children.)

Cirrhosis, I love the idea of it being a rite of passage and am going to treat it like that.

Do you think that studs with stones (perhaps semi-precious like blue topaz or something) would fit the requirement for 'discreet and small' which is what the school stipulate?

OP posts:
Jamieandhismagictorch · 27/02/2010 20:51

This was the age most people had it done when I was a child.

I was 7 when I had mine done - I'd had a very short haircut and was getting called "son" all the time. I did not nag my mum, but she let me have my ears pierced. I was a sensible girl, and was only allowed studs.

kslatts · 27/02/2010 21:37

My dd who is 10 had them done last summer, she was very sensible and put the lotion on everyday.

jellybeans · 27/02/2010 21:46

Mine had it at that age and were fine. I would have said yes from about 8 or 9 probably. Some kids get abit teased if they still haven't got ears pierced at secondary, I was desperate at that age and was about 12.

TottWriter · 27/02/2010 22:23

I had mine done at ten after a lot of convincing my mum that it was something I really wanted and not just a phase. (My sister was eight, but that was because my mum probably thought it a bit mean to let her seem e getting them done and not let her - we were best friends as well as sisters.)

Good idea on the summer holidays thing - there were lots of girls who got into trouble at one of my schools for getting them done at the start of term, and then had to wear tape over them for PE.

As for studs with stones in, that sounds fine to me. What they generally mean by small and discreet is that she shouldn't be wearing those dirty great hoops or big dangly earrings with brightly coloured bits on them. Plenty of girls at my secondary school had multiple sets of ear piercings by fifteen with pink neon studs in them, and a few had ring earrings at the top of their ears. Clearly, that's not appropriate for your DGD, but it does prove that schools are generally quite tolerant as long as you don't take it too far. (They didn't allow eyebrow or nose piercings, for example, and tongue piercings were a big no-no outside of the sixth form, which didn't have a uniform anyway.)

MrsC2010 · 27/02/2010 22:27

I think I had to be 15, but sounds like times have changed since 1996!

mrspoppins · 27/02/2010 22:32

That's a perfect time...lots of year 7 girls have pierced ears...it is .ike a rite of passage. Both mine had them done on the first day of the summer holiday between year 6 and 7...book a slot...they get filled up on that first weekend as she will need them in for the whole 6 weeks and then take her for lunch after as a big treat...you'll have a lovely day and she will feel great! xx

ChippingIn · 28/02/2010 04:41

No you're not BU. 11 is plenty old enough

I had mine done for my 7th birthday (I think I'd been nagging for at least 2 years by then, I think I wore my poor Mum down!!) and didn't have any problems with them.

mathanxiety · 28/02/2010 04:51

I let 2 of the DDs get theirs done for First Communion (age 7) as they wanted it. DD1 had hers done for her 10th b-day, and youngest (age 8) wanted hers done for First Communion but she chickened out. Now she says definitely for her 9th b-day.

ILovePlayingDarts · 28/02/2010 08:27

I've promised my dd she can have them done at the start of the summer hols this year, as a belated 10th birthday present. Her scholl stipulates that earrings must be removed for PE and thus recommends that ears are pierced during the summer hols to allow for the healing time.

My mum took an awful lot of persuading to let me have them done at 14. She has some aversion to ears, so I think this was behind it really, rather than any old-fashioned ideas.

I stopped at having two piercings on each ear, I went on to have tattoos instead. (Surprisingly, Mum came to watch me have one done!)