...to hide my moneybox?

[SpeedyGonzalez]

I am generally not all that good with managing my finances. So I'm trying various methods to get better at it, one of which is saving spare change in a tin every day, so that at the end of the year I can use the money for a big treat.

DH has a more controlled approach to managing his money, however he never actually has cash on him and is always asking me for money for stuff, which I don't mind all that much.

However, now that DH has twigged that I am saving money in a tin, he has started using it as his source of cash, taking it either with or without asking my permission. He does pay it back, usually after a few days, but I feel as though I no longer have control over it. Seeing as that's the whole reason I'm saving - as part of my efforts to take control of different aspects of my finances, I am now considering hiding the tin.

God, this sounds so pathetic as I type it. I think I should explain to him why I am unhappy about him taking money from the tin, but is it unreasonable of me to expect him to not take money from it at all?

Just hide it.

Problem solved. No arguments.

USe another object in another place and leave the tin where it is so he thinks you have just stopped.....

Transfer your money to another tin, and put a note in the original one saying 'get your own tin, you tea leaf'.

I was given a tin for saving that needs a tin opener to access the money- might be worth it! Can't have been much as it was a secret santa gift

I agree with Rosa if you want to avoid confrontation.

those tins can be found in pound/99p shops... My dh is the same, never has change for bus, always asks me for the odd pound, never pays it back through...

Yes you are unreasonable to expect him to not take money from it if you haven't told him what you are doing with it - you're a family, he probably thinks spare change is something you can just grab when it's needed. God knows if my husband leaves change lying about, it's in my purse pdq this morning in fact I found about 4 quid in the bedroom. Ta v much. I bought myself a new little purse.

I also claimed a fiver from his jeans pocket

He's grabbed money from my purse if he's needed it. No big deal, doesn't matter which one of us has it - it's our money - you see?

So you need to tell him that you are saving it for a reason and it's off limits. Maybe buy another jar for him to slip spare change in, for when it's needed?

So - not unreasonable to want him to stay out of it if it is being put aside for a specific reason. Unreasonable to expect him to just stay out of it without telling him to stay out of it

YANBU - if it is not his money he should not be taking it - I think you can have your money, his money and our money. My OH does the no cash trick all the time and it does my head in.

FWIW I do not believe you are pathetic at all...

I do what your DH does all the time -I promise my intentions are good and I always intend on paying it back....

...but I'm rubbish,

I can save the pounds but the pennies slip me by.

Tell him you have disbanded the idea as he kept borrowing so as a couple you need to find a way to do it together. Then carry on ferreting your pennies.

we have 3 change jars, 1 for gold, 1 for silver and 1 for coppers.

these are used for emergency bus fares, nipping to the corner shop for milk etc.

all the money that comes in is our money

however YANBU if you have a saving tin for a different purpose.

leave that tin there, and keep a secret one in a private draw etc, somewhere he doesn't need or want to nose through
and if he does find it, tell him your saving for something special, and leave it at that.

ps. i have a tummy tuck savings tin in my under bed draw haha!

Heqet - you've done the classic MN 'guessing and assuming' thing . I have told him what it's for and why I'm doing it. Not to mention that he's the one who always criticises my lack of money management. Oh, and when I complained about him raiding it he just made it into a joke. So there. .

ROFL at OTT's tummy tuck money!

Glad to see you all agree with me, anyway, thanks so much for your comments. It's been useful to consider all your different suggestions. I will tell him that I feel as though he's inadvertently sabotaging my attempts to improve my money management, and then if he keeps raiding the tin after that I shall hide it.

Would it be better to just put away a set amount say a couple of quid or a fiver a week-properly in a bank account?

My husband used to leave change laying about & I used to live off it!
(Hate breaking into a note emoticon)

My son has three Euro lunch money & I used to save 1´s & 2´s in old film pots.

When I checked once, had about 90Euro put away

i have 3 little decorative boxes which stack,was given as a present,they match my bedroom decor. i have £2,£1 and 50p's in them...saving for holiday,which is in uk. after the holiday i will keep this system,with september uniform requirements in mind,then after that,save it for xmas...

i have recently opened a saving account with my bank where i add about a fiver each week. this is for big items and unexpected bills....i intend to up the standing order alot more in a few weeks when holidays are paid for.

also opened a standard cardcash account for pocket money for me!! £20 a week goes in at present as i need alot of things due to dc taking priority for years now!

there is just me (no thieving dh) and 5 dc's

My DH takes money from the children to buy petrol at the end of the month! I'm talking notes!
DD reminds him, and charges him interest, but DS is only 2, and I recently noticed all his christmas money had disappeared.

you have just reminded me I owe DS's money box £1.50
although I may need money for parking anyway...

did I? whoops Sorry, with your OP saying he has "twigged" about the money I did assume that meant guessed and you didn't mention you had told him what it was for, so be more clear in future rants!

I agree with you anyway, as in my other post!