to blanche at a £45 a head set menu EXCLUSIVE of drinks?

[parakeet]

A friend is organising a night out in town for a small group of her friends for her thirtieth birthday. She has chosen a very expensive restaurant, where apparently the whole group has to have the same set menu, which is £44 a head, no drinks included. So I would think with wine we'll be forking out £60 a head.

We are really having to tighten our belts at the moment as my husband was made redundant in December (she knows this). We scrimped on Christmas, buying second-hand presents for the children. It's not that I cannot find £60 - I can - but it's the principle of paying that for a night out when I'm buying my children Christmas presents from charity shops that sticks in my throat.

Is this really what meals out cost nowadays and am I just behind the times?

I wouldn't invite friends out to fancy restaurant for a general birthday. If it was a special birthday and I wanted to invite people, then I would pay, yes.

We did this recently for DH's 40th. He wanted to go to a particular restaurant, he invited his closest friends and we paid. We are not rolling in it, but it would seem wrong to do it any other way.

agree with nigglewiggle

Cripes parakeet I nearly wet myself when I saw this thread. I'm having a 30th birthday dinner at a restaurant in London tomorrow night and have asked my guests to pay £44 a head for a three course banquet style meal. I was trying to work out if you are one of my disgruntled friends!

I appreciate £44 each is quite expensiv so DH and I are picking up the drinks bill for the whole night (which sucks as I'm pregnant and can't even ease the passing of my 20s by getting sloshed myself!)
I figured that would balance it out a bit and this is probably the last birthday party I'll spent without a baby on my hip and puree in my hair so wanted to do something special.

I dont think 45 is a lot for a set menu in a nice restaurant though

When I had my hen night I went to a restaurant. I expected the guests to pay because it was a night out. The restaurant I chose was an Italian and did two courses for about £7.50 a price that everyone can afford. Yes it is her birthday and a special one and she is entitled to go where she wants but then shouldn't be surprised if very few can go. So no you are not being unreasonable at all.

Perhaps it's a regional thing. I worked in restaurants for almost 20 years in London and (mainly in) the south west and served many, many large parties. Sometimes the bill was settled by one person but the norm was for it to be split. Menu prices ranged from £20 to £35, but this was a few years back.

When I'm invited to a birthday bash at a restaurant I expect the bill to be split equitably, with the birthday girl/boy's bill being covered by the rest of us. Tis the norm where we are, but I'm begining to wonder if we're freaks

is she insisting you can only have the set menu? if so, i think thats a bit inviting your friends out and dictating what they can eat.

I just don't get the 'trend' for people organising their perfect night out/wedding/party/whatever and then getting it 'subsidised' by the guests!!! And you have to buy a present AND you have to say thank you as though it was all their bloody generosity that made it happen!!

All this guff about 'my wedding, my rules' is SO tacky when there's then a paying bar, people have to stay at a hotel etc

I think it's the same for birthdays. If you make it clear it's a split cost thing then fair enough, but unless you're all loaded, something like Pizza Express is ideal. You can't dictate where you go, what people spend/order and then say it's for YOUR birthday!! If you want that much control over the proceedings, PAY FOR IT!!!!

TBH I feel that if you want to decide where you are going, who is allowed to come, and then also what meal everyone has to have, then you should suck it up and pay for it as well, after all, you've controlled everything else!