worried for my daughter's safety(and mine)

[hobnobsaremyfavourite]

Got into school with my DD this morning and her teacher was looking at me very strangely.
When I took her int her class I noticed that the teacher's storeroom door was open and lined up on the shelf were lots of little dolls and a big pot of pins!!! What should I do? I mean I knew my DD's teacher had some strange reading habits but now I am really worried in case she puts a hex on me for stalking her! Do you think I should raise the subject at next weeks parents evening or maybe I should just start a thread on mumsnet about it and hope she reads it?

you have plenty of time to get to her before she gets to you. by the time they'll have done their assembly, hour of literacy, hour of numeracy and sex ed you can have created a nice waxen image and started warning her that you know what she's up to.

that is supposing she hasn't checked AIBU before starting teaching.

You should go to the Daily Mail .

Do you have contact details for the Daily Mail CWWM? I mean it's a disgrace ! Teachers are meant to live in a cardboard box in school and are not allowed any sort of life or interest beyond my DD and her delightful classmates .

Your dd will be fine as she is no doubt an angel of light and loveliness like all her friends- an indigo child, if you will...she can repel evil Amazonian hexes no problem. That just leaves you- but try to view it as virtual acupuncture and possibly a longterm cure for the pain from squinting at google all day?

You are so right I would be disgusted if my child was subjected to it, I think the Daily Mail offices are situated at Wanky towers 666 prejudice lane.

HTH

Oh abso lutely I'd complain to the PM and have her excommunicated ASAP

I hope she doesn't check my amazon wish list! I mean I don't want her to know I read such helpful tomes as "Stalking a beginner's guide" and "How to live a perfect and blameless life just so I can look down on other people" do I?

YADNBU but I do not think you should go to the Daily Mail. Instead you need to do the following things:

i) start a passive-aggressive thread on mn in the hope that she'll read it
ii) when picking up DC from school throw your voice so it comes from the aforementioned cupboard and whispers "I know what you did on mumsnet"
iii) google her and track any information in an easy to read excel spreadsheet
iv) She's at work now, so get round to her house and go through her bins - you may find evidence that she e.g., eats meat/chocolate/non low-fat food
v) set up a fb group calling her a monster to society
vi) seduce her husband so you find out how dirty she is in bed.
vii) remove your children from school immediately and homeschool them - it's the only way to have them grow up balanced and under your influence.

It's a known fact that once a thread on mumsnet reaches 300 comments, it generates its own gravitational force field. Just keep bumping and the offending teacher will be sucked into the screaming depths of the ether.

(Remember to wipe up afterwards)

Fantastic ideas I knew you would all understand how important it is to deal with these dark forces!