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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to pissed off school rang to tell me DS has banged his head?

46 replies

BigMomma3 · 25/02/2010 13:53

although they say he seems to be OK and will be monitored while in class until hometime. If they don't want me to pick him up, there's nothing I can do about it ffs!

Now I am going to be on tenterhooks for the next two hours (they rang just after 1pm)terrified that he will start vomitting and collapse etc, etc and I will get a call saying he's been rushed to hospital .

Why could'nt they have just given him an accident slip to take home or his teacher let me know (which is what they've always done until now)!!

OP posts:
notsoteenagemum · 25/02/2010 16:40

We phone parents to warn them if the bump looks really nasty as have had parents break down or get really angry if we've left it til pick up time.

ScreaminEagle · 25/02/2010 16:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

confuddledDOTcom · 25/02/2010 17:11

My brother is rather tall and ran into a tree branch running at school. They never told my parents, kept him at school and sent him home as normal. The first thing my parents knew was when one came home (or it could have been me who found him) and he was drifting in and out of consciousness!

pointysayhiphip · 25/02/2010 17:29

oh gerrover it

stealthsquiggle · 25/02/2010 17:42

Good God - is this a unanimous AIBU?

OP - I hope DS is OK!

SixtyFootDoll · 25/02/2010 17:46

DEF YABU!
AS the tohers said what if he had become worse and was rushed into hospital?
Just be glad he is ok and give the school a break.

TheLadyEvenstar · 25/02/2010 17:48

I got a call from DS1's school today to say he had not been listening properly in class - he has slight hearing in one ear

I was pissed off at them calling me over that because they have been informed.

if they were to call to say he had banged his head i would be happy to be informed.
so yes YABU

Original poster
BigMomma3 · 25/02/2010 17:54

'nob end'

I should explain that the DSs seem to bring accident slips home most weeks and have definitely brought them home for banged heads on numerous occasions which is why I immediately panicked when they called as they never have before and therefore I imagined it to be something serious but was perturbed as to why they said he was fine and did not need to be picked up .

I was also told he had fallen on his head onto the playground whereas he tells me an older boy ran into him and they banged heads and he then fell into the mud (mud encrusted coat that was washed last night is now again mud encrusted ). He seems fine now (has just turned 8 btw). Unfortunately pregnancy hormones seem to be making my anxiety levels skyrocket!

So actually I am the only one to think I am not BU so narrrrr!

OP posts:
JeremyVile · 25/02/2010 18:00

I've had a couple of these calls from preschool.
I'm faine with them ringing, think its quite good really but I'm always left wondering how I'm supposed to react.
He's had a bump but he's fine. Okaaaay then...I'll just pick him up at home time as normal then?

FimBOW · 25/02/2010 18:04

I work in a school and it is policy to phone parents to tell them about any head injuries, regardless of how insignificant it may seem, just so they are aware. A letter is also sent home with the child.

Narrr back to you!!!! I often have to phone parents and you know what the most annoying thing is??? Most of them never update contact details, I spend half my time chasing correct telephone numbers.

RatherBeOnThePiste · 25/02/2010 18:05

We are obliged to call if a child has a head injury even if it is minor. The parent then has the choice as to whether to come. I think it is expected practice these days. I can tell you an absolutely dreadful horror story if you like....

FimBOW · 25/02/2010 18:07

I always say along the lines of "Little Jimmy is fine, a slight bump in the playgroup, just calling to make you aware so you can keep an eye out for dizzyness or nausea this evening. He is perfectly fine to stay at school and we will call back if anything changes".

Most of the parents I call are grateful for the call.

pigletmania · 25/02/2010 18:09

YANBU at all, I used to work for the Council as a community woker for people with LD and yes if they so much as bang their heads we had to fill in accident forms and inform the carer. A few parents used to not like being called up and i dont blame them unless it is something serious.

jibbs · 25/02/2010 18:49

I had a scenario last year when my DS2 was in reception class.

My DH took a phone call from school (at about 12noon) saying that our DS2 had hit the back of his head but was fine and didn't need to be collected.

DH collected DS1 at 12.15 (as he leaves early once a week) and again DH asked how DS2 was. "fine" came the reply.

I picked up DS2 at normal school finish time and he had blood all down the back of his white shirt and his head was still oozing. My little boy has just had his head wiped and sent back to his class with a damp paper towel. He wasn't allowed to play outside so his teacher got told she had to sit with him. He is in a class of 30 children so couldn't be watched adequately for signs of concussion throughout the afternoon.

Why did the school not ask us to collect our little boy and take him to be seen by medical staff?

A very good friend of mine is a nurse and she was hoffified when I told her. She says that a child with a cut head should be sent hone ass the school aren't qualified to do neuro obs on a child.

To say I was furious is an understatement.

In future, I will ask to collect my children if the school think that it is serious enough to let us know there has been an incident.

strawberrykate · 25/02/2010 19:09

It's very logical and something we must do at our school. It's something we must notify the PARENT of the child of. Many children are picked up by after school clubs/ childminders/ siblings etc who are not resposnsible for the child nor can we ensure they will pass on such a vital message or be able to deal with a situatino should one arise if it's them we see at the end of the day. Also children frequently loose letters if we were to write it down. Also if you were a working parent you may want to make the decision to collect the child yourself if they were being looked after by siblings/ after school club etc. Lasly mistakes do happen, people forget messages, by ringing you straight away we know the message gets passed on and isn't forgotten about in the course of a busy school day. Any school that didn't ring would be irresponsible and in violation of child potection rules. Do remember though, if it stresses you out as a parent you do have the right to collect your child at any point and take them home if you have any needs or concerns.

hatesponge · 25/02/2010 19:16

Fimbow what's annoying is, after having given the school my updated contact details in person, over the phone and by email many times, they still never get my number right, and most recently tried to phone me on an old work number, which was for a job I left in 2005!

OP, actually I feel YANBU. Agree that schools send mixed messages....surely if a head injury/concussion is suspected this is an instance when the school SHOULD be asking for the child to be collected, not just phoning? My son's school never phone for head 'bumps', its just a note i book bag or sticker, however they have before phoned and asked me to collect him because he was coughing loudly

PurpleHeffalump · 25/02/2010 19:21

"AIBU to be angry at my son's school?
My son didn't seem very well one evening - headache, dizzy, feeling sick. I ended up taking him to A+E. They asked me if he'd bumped his head recently. "Not that I know of" I replied...
Two days later I found an injury report slip crumpled at the bottom of his bag telling me that he'd banged his head"

(OK so totally made that up but could easily be true)

BigMomma3 - I have both had concussion as a child and had to deal with a child with it. Both from a simple fall whist running. It is very scary. I don't agree with having so many health and safety procedures to follow, but with this one, I actually agree.

piscesmoon · 25/02/2010 19:24

If they hadn't you might well start a thread 'my DC banged his head and the school didn't bother to do anything except send an accident slip home'-they can't win. I expect they took the view it was better to play safe. YABU

leavingonajetplane · 25/02/2010 19:35

Unfortunately many people could be unaware of how serious a "bump to the head" would be and schools certainly arent qualified to do neuro obs.

Its easy to get misled thinking a small child is ok as they didnt cry for example (when a small child not crying immediately when they bang their head is not a good sign). Or that a child is ok as there are no visible marks - this is not a reliable indicator of harm in head injuries.

Since it is one of those things that can turn very bad very quick in a small minority of cases I would hope all schools do their best to notify.

They are in a difficult position as they know it probably isnt serious but theres always a chance it could be very bad.

Where I live GPs will send any child coming in with a head injury straight to A & E as a matter of good practice. They say deciding "he seems fine" even after an examination isnt actually sufficient in case of a bang to the head.

MaureenMLove · 25/02/2010 20:11

I have to say, as a first aider at a school, if I believe a head injury to be serious enough, i.e. not just a 'I banged my head on the table' but a fall in the playground or during PE for example, I would send them home straight away.

Many schools only have first aiders. Just staff that have done a 2 day course in paediatric first aid. I definately do not want the responsibility of being wrong.

So actually, I'm not sure yabu!

StrictlyKatty · 25/02/2010 20:27

I'd want to know. I don't understand why anyone wouldn't.

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