to be really p***** off with our au pair for the following...

[mousemole]

Au pair has been with us for 5 months. She is a really nice girl and good with the kids. We've just been on holiday for 2 weeks. I paid her for when we were away and also lined up a weeks work with a friend so she could top up her income. We have some house rules of no smoking ( not that she smokes but previous Au Pairs have)in the house and also I asked when we were away that she didn't have any visitors as I wasn't comfortable not knowing who was in my house. She arranged for a friend to visit when we were away and said the friend was staying in a local b and b and that they were going to explore the UK for a few days.
Anyway, back from holiday today - house stinks of fags and the spare bedroom has clearly been slept in. I am seething.....AIBU ? I don't know what to say or do...

boffin ouch- £100 is bad ! £20 is not a lot, again it's just the whole house rules thing being dismissed I think. Who/where was yours calling ?!

Let's all do that. Let's see - I can't be bothered to be a proper grown up and pay my way in life, organise a house and mortgage for myself, pay for language school accommodation, or even book a B and B for my smoking mates, so I think I'll become an AP, live for free in return for a bit of badly done housework when I feel like it, mess someone else's house up, and let my friends use it as a free hotel.

When I was 25 I had a kid and a proper job - why don't these people? You have to ask yourself.

She was Swiss but tbh genuinely thought we had a special overseas calling deal like her parents, and was absolutely mortified when she realised what she had done, and cried her eyes out and insisted on paying the bill, so it was hard to be cross.

She's a lovely lass and still visits us five years on.

Some posts really aren't worth adressing.

PS I think we gave her £30 towards it in the end as it was a genuine mistake on her part and she was only 19.

well said Boffin .We pay for her language school although her English is still pretty basic!
Also a free hotel to AP'sfamily - I put up her borther and sister for 4 nights after she had been here a month ! In return I get this.... NICE !!

Stix, I suppose I shouldn't engage, should I?

Sack her, mouse.
It's your home and she was out of line.
It's a shame there isn't an AP ombudsman IMO

How are you Boff? Have you got a new au pair/nanny now?

oh no, poor her ! I bet she was mortified ! How lovely you are still in contact. We have had 4 AP's and are in touch with most of them ,one is our youngest son's godmother !
This AP is definitely the most challenging !

I am in pretty good shape, actually, thanks for asking. I have a lovely new nanny who is bending over backwards to be professional and helpful. It has to be said that she's a bit older, though, which helps.

I did feel sorry for her and gave her a bit of a cuddle and said it would be OK, the world was not going to end!

We've got two who visit, both Swiss and really very nice young women. Both very intelligent.

Boffin -would you recommend Swiss girls ? I have favoured Spanish girls before but this one is from Spain and as you know is a bit of a nightmare !

You are going to get into trouble for geralisations. But, while we are on the subject, I recommend Poles.

Strix you are right...whoops ! Lets change the subject !

It's not 'considerate' to pay her the holiday, she's entitled to it. 5.6 weeks paid holiday including bank hols is the minimum for any employee.

The smoking and unauthorised guests, however, would be immediate dismissal for me in my contract. At the very least it's a written warning and possibly grounds for giving notice.

I think Swiss girls are pretty good - work ethic and all that. But as the Radio Times always says, other listing magazines are available.

5.6 weeks includes bank holidays, btw.