to think that if you support someone through loads of crap in their life they should maybe offer some support back?

[Comewhinewithme]

Just feeling sad really have given someone loads of support over the years and then I just get blanked and ignored.

This is a close family member too so I can't just get her out of my life.

I am sat here crying today (and I never cry) because she is such a bloody selfish cow and I know next time she needs something she will be running and kissing arse yet she knows I am having a shitty time right now and just phases me out and makes me feel ackward.

I am worried about doing the school run because she will ignore me in front of people or just give one word answers of I speak to her she is so fucking up and down she is like a yo yo.

And I hate bloody facebook as it just allows people to be passive aggresive and nasty.

I know I am rambling just feeling a bit friendless and lonely today.

Awkward.

you are not unreasonable but I have learned this too. It rarely happens that people support you back in my experience.
I hope things look up for you soon.

Yep - you can pick and drop friends but you cannot do it to family.
You have been supportive to her and when she doesn't need you then she just ignores - it's crap.
Just say a cheery hello and walk past (or can you not do that?).

Sorry you are feeling so crap.

Can you adjust your FB settings so you don't see her stuff?

Oh and next time she asks for support can you be unavailable?

YANBU - there will always be some net-takers in life.

Hope your day improves - bright side of life and all that ...

Yanbu for expecting a little friendship but some people are just completely self absorbed. I have several in my family too. Don't worry about doing the school run, just say hello and be on your way. And ignore facebook on days like this I reckon.
Hope something lovely happens for you today!

She sounds horribly selfish. Can you not make a big effort yourself to be looking at/ chatting to someone else when she is around? Also I wouldn't be quite so helpful next time she needs somebody, she sounds like a two faced user and I feel quite for you!

Don't know what's going on for you right now but am passing you a hot cuppa and some chocolate.

Poor you. No YNBU, but I don't know what to suggest. I've had this happen to me as well and you do just feel lost and helpless.

It's quite possibly that she doesn't know what to say and so puts her head in the sand rather than confronting it? Can you ask her to help with something small, but which would just relieve some of the pressure from you?

Hope things improve anyway.

first cancle your FB account, that thing is no good for anyone who wants to stay sane!

2nd, when you've helped someone through a tough patch, then you inturn need help and support, yes they should be there for you,

However, some people feel uncomfortable 'being there' for anyone, even a close friend/relative, it is shitty, but they just can't seem to open up and take on the emotional stuff.

it usually reminds them of the time when they needed help and that usually makes them feel inadequate and unable to help you etc.

i know thats no use, but maybe you could just say to her, ' look i know you may not know what to do, or feel uncomfortable with this, but i need your help and support, i wouldn't say this unless it was bad, you know that etc'

if she still can't man up then let the relationship go, it will be awkward any way as you both know she has let you down big time.

hope you get someones support, and if not, i truely believe what doesn't kill us makes us stronger x

Thankyou everyone I know I am being silly I just really could do with her atm not for anything just to be my friend but she has a bee in her bonnet over something and I am in the firing line.

Self absorbed is a good description.

Are you sure you "could really do with her"?? Sounds to me like you're a lot better off without..

Sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear..

I'd agree with mamsnet, she doesn't sound like the sort of person you want around you when you're feeling low and in need of a good friend. It sounds like the support you've offered her in the past needs rethinking. What's sauce for the goose...

Putting her aside for a while, you need some support so is there anyone around who you feel you can rely upon?