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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not contact this freecycler?

23 replies

Disenchanted3 · 23/02/2010 18:34

Logged and and saw someone had posted a 'wanted' for something. I have this item and no longer need it so I emailed them.

I get :

I'm very interested, not to far from you, when can I pick up-?

No 'yes please I would love this' or even a 'thankyou'

AIBU to ignore him now and offer it up on freecycle. It would be snapped up.

Or would I get in trouble for that as I contacted him?

OP posts:
Elena67 · 23/02/2010 18:53

tactical fib - say "so sorry - I've had other intrest so I think I'd better offer it generally and do a random pick from all the replies" then don't randomly pick them! Serves them right for being rude - Freecycle is great and runs on decency and 'thank yous', not gimme gimme gimme!!

Elena67 · 23/02/2010 18:54

interest. soz.

Original poster
Disenchanted3 · 23/02/2010 19:00

thanks i may do, i was tempted to tell himwhy but better not i think

OP posts:
omaoma · 23/02/2010 19:03

doesn't sound massively rude to me - i use freecycle all the time and get a bit bored/turned off by people giving me their life story/huge thanks. we're doing each other a favour in giving/receiving, for me the thanks are implicit - I'M the one who's grateful they're taking my crap off my hands! but you know, it's all voluntary, jsut ignore it if you want to, sure they won't cry about it

Original poster
Disenchanted3 · 23/02/2010 19:05

But its not crap, its a leather office chair, real leather and was quite expensive, so yes I do think it warrants a thankyou,

I could easily make £20 on ebay but saw his wanted.

OP posts:
OTTMummA · 23/02/2010 19:07

a lot of people do this, ive given away tonnes of stuff, that i could sell, but wanted it to go to someone who needs it.
had a rather similar reply to a few items ive offered, especially baby clothes, and i just ignore them, and give them to anyone who says why they need them/it, ie, they are expecting etc.

my friend was in a charitable mood and got rid of some rather nice baby stuff, inluding a maclaren buggy, ( it needed a new basket ) someone picked it up and a few days later saw the buggy on ebay! lol.

think about it, you can collect perfectly good items up locally, and sell them on if you don't need them, im sure people make a bit of side money doing this.

Merrylegs · 23/02/2010 19:07

Honestly? I don't think he sounds out of order.

You emailed and offered, he said yes and has offered to come and collect.

It's just a business transaction isn't it (albeit an alturistic one)?

omaoma · 23/02/2010 19:10

if you want to sell it, just sell it! your choice.

JaynieB · 23/02/2010 19:11

Doesn't sound that rude to me. Maybe the thankyou would come after they've picked it up?

Blanchet · 23/02/2010 20:45

YABU. When someone posts a "wanted" ad and you reply to them telling them you have the item they want, surely the implication is that you are offering it to them? Why else reply? It's not even as if he is asking anything of you - he offers to come at a time to suit you to take the unwanted item off your hands. Yeah I guess he could have written a more flowery message to you but I wouldn't go so far as to call it rude - just a little brusque, maybe.

Pikelit · 23/02/2010 20:48

I'd rather have the brief and not particularly discourteous message you received than I would some ridiculous tale of woe that involved far too much information about other people's ishoos.

Firawla · 23/02/2010 20:51

its not rude, i think you should just tell him a time when he can come and pick up. im sure he will say thanks when he takes it, if not then that would be rude

Sidge · 23/02/2010 20:56

I think the reply is OK. You emailed him in reply to a wanted so he doesn't need to say 'yes please I'd like it'. I'd give him the benefit of the doubt - you never know, after you've told him when and where to collect he may well reply saying 'great, thanks very much, really appreciate it' etc.

muminthecity · 23/02/2010 20:58

Why on earth are you acting like such a martyr? Noone is forcing you to give the chair away, you offered it to someone and he's accepted, if you would rather give it to someone who is willing to fall at your feet in gratitude then do that instead.

EasyEggs · 23/02/2010 20:59

I think a thank you wouldn't have gone amiss, politeness costs nothing and seeing as you had the decency to take the time replying to his wanted ad then even more so I would have thought

I hate it when people can't even be bothered to say please or thank you. I have replied to a few offered ads locally for things that I have genuinely needed (apart from the pole dancing pole, seemed like a good idea at the time ) and I am always polite and do more than the "yeah I'll take it" line!!

YANBU

pranma · 24/02/2010 12:03

I dont think its rude tbh but if he doesnt say 'Thank you' when he comes to collect it that would be really rude.

JemL · 24/02/2010 12:08

YABU.

You emailed and offered it to him. Unless you put in the message that the offer was conditional, and would be withdrawn if he did not express the proper appreciation, then yes, it would be unfair to offer it on freecycle.

chopstheduck · 24/02/2010 12:17

I can see your point and I would be miffed too, but I don't think it is reasonable to withdraw the offer now.

sb6699 · 24/02/2010 12:32

Okay, he could have put a few lines expressing his gratitude but maybe thats just not his way - some people are completely different in person to the way they come across in writing.

I dont think it was rude - more to the point. If he doesnt say thank you when he collects then that would be rude.

TheBossofMe · 24/02/2010 12:32

I didn't think the reply was rude at all TBH. Nowhere near as rude as the freecycler who got my dishwasher (old but in perfect working order), looked at it and said, oh no thanks, I thought you would be giving away something newer, this won't look very modern in my kitchen. Its free, you berk, if you want something better, go and buy it.

porcamiseria · 24/02/2010 12:41

yanbu, if you think he is rude fair enough. offfer on FC and give to most deserving

dont even tell them why

sb6699 · 24/02/2010 12:52

TheBossofMe -

You should see some of the things that are Wanted on my local freecycle; magimix (not just a food processor), leather suite must be in brand new condition (yeah, if it was brand new they would be selling it not giving it away), 42" flatscreen HD tv!

Bramshott · 24/02/2010 12:55

TBH he sounds rushed rather than rude. But of course it's up to you who you give it to, so there no burden on you to be back in touch.

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