To runaway and never come back [obv take DD and Dp with me]

[Buzzybb]

DP thinks IABU [ANGRY] Woke up a 7.30 am by Bil to ask would I mind his dd 1.5 yr said yes as thought he was going to work and childcare had not worked out and mother had invited the whole family to my hse for dinner 15 people and 6 under 7 yr dc.
At 2 pm after me cooking and minding dn and dd every1 turned up chaos, 7 yr dn wants attention all the time cue sulking pouting and moaning [I make her go to other room for time out /space] but her parents just threaten etc so ignored it but when I offered her hot choc while adults had coffee was told not to interfere they will disiplene their child and no drinks, bit my tongue but now it seems that sil complained that I used naughty corner and time outs on their child to everyone who would listen [I do esp as I always end up with their 3 dc as they do not have childcare sorted and I do not believe that threats and spanking work]and bil who gave me his dc at 8 am told dp that he had gone home to bed when he gave me his dc
Am fed up with the lot of them not 1 card made by a dc, thank you, bunch of flowers or bottle of wine from a single one of them just want to disown the lot of them and never mind their dc for free again. I also have to do all the washup and tidy up myself

Oh No am sorry what a rant off to fill the dishwasher again

say no next time!

Nah, don't run off - lock your doors and don't answer your phone. Avoid them all for a year week or so. Also, if your SIL doesn't like you disciplining her children in your home when she is failing to do it perhaps she should find someone else to look after them.

Just told DP we are changing the locks as we bought old family home and everyone has keys and just ring bell and walk in [think I need a new front door as it is glass door will ring locksmith in the morning] despite asking for the keys back they must have 10 each, also will have to speak to mother about arranging dinner in mine, am just fed up and feeling [stupid wimpy dogsbody] used

Think you're doing the right thing. Sounds like everyone is taking advantage.

ive never known it in a family where someone else arranged dinner to be at another members house! without a good pre warning or without asking the said person who will be doing the cooking!
how bloomin rude!
change your locks, and ignore phone calls, also refuse to look after your SILs children, if she doesn't like the way you discipline she shouldn't have such a problem with it should she! and i would also tell them you are no longer a doormat and they you demand some bloody respect.
i would of clipped bil round the head if he had woken me up @ 7.30 to get free childcare so he could go bk to bed!

DP nolonger thinks IABU as we had tidied up hse baba in bed etc and we lit a fire put on DVD and door bell rang twice and bil opened door and came in looking for dd teddy in case she woke up, We are getting new door tomorrow at 9 am !!!
OTTMummA my Mum used to do family dinner once a month and has moved to a smaller hse no room for everyone but it will be the last time in mine esp as she told me sat and had to cook chcken,pork and fish [fussy people] thank God for reduced to clear still not killed anyone yet Also took dn as believed he was going to work, sis was at work
Still I did want to runaway to a sunny beach Please someone tell me RUNAWAY

RUN AWAY!

They are a horrible shower of users - stop bein' a mug woman!

If you want an excuse to change the locks (not that you need one), just say that you lost your bag and it had your keys and a letter with your address on it so you've had to change every lock in the house as a security measure.

Consider also buying large Dog to patrol the permimeter

ps YANBU

Everyone has your doorkeys?... How did that happen?.. I mean ok, they are your family but comming into your house unannounced is very very rude, family members or not!

What if you told them you changed the locks because you don't feel comfortable in your house knowing that someone might just walk in when you e.g. do a bikini waxing and that you want more privacy? Could you tell them all to ring you first if they want to come over?

Your BIL and SIL are taking the piss and using you for free childcare because you let them. See, anyone can come into your house whenever they want, you probably never refused to look after their kids so they see you as someone who will do as told (and tbh don't think they have much respect for you either).

If I was you I would have a chat with mum, obviously she is also asuming that you will do as told, cook dinner for everyone and entertain them and tidy up afterwards without a moan. They probaby think you're a bit daft and don't see that everyone is using you!

Change the doors, no more dinners at your place untill the rest of them have had them at their places. No more childcare requests at 7.30 am (did he just turn up at your door at that time with his DD?...) If you ever agree to look after their kids again, they should ask you very nicely in advance not just dump them on you assuming you won't say no.

for you

they bought the old family home moz, so presumably all these people have lived there in the past.
Instead of new door, can you not just buy a bolt or chain?

please come back & let us know how they reacted when it's clear you're not going to be a mug any more

SPB, I see... So everyone thinks they are entitled to come to their previous family home whenever they like because they are so used to doing it?

I would def change the door, the family needs to realise it's not THEIR place anymore, and to start respecting OP's privacy. Not giving back the keys when asked or keeping 10 copies of them 'just in case' is completely out of order.

And it is not safe either.

Got the new door BF hubby was in the building trade so he got the job at 8.30am [he does the school run and rang him when I knew he would be up] Nice new solid door, old door was Glass type so could not put new lock on it also new door is old fashioned solid wood type and the lock is being moved higher so DD when walking/running away from mad parents cannot escape [DP is a paramedic and noway will he allow a bolt/chain on the door, he is doing OT as have used savings for new door]
Articfox I have a dog, he once left the burglers come in steal keys to car and then attacked the police who came to inform us they had caught the kids
Everyone had a key as yes it was the family home and never changed the door/lock silly me BF is going to keep spare key for me.
And at least after last night DP can see my pov and hopefully will stop saying yes we will mind your DC/DOG/FISH etc [he thought he was onto a promise last night till bil walked in and I went to bed in a sulk, might leave the never again conversation with my Mum to him as I know she will be