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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

about DH's books

6 replies

redskyatnight · 21/02/2010 17:17

I tend to read a lot of books - maybe 3-4 a week, but I get them from the library. I only buy maybe 2-3 books a year and these are ones that are favourites. I reread all my books on a regular basis.

DH is not a great reader (of books, he tends to read magazines or stuff off the web) but whenever he sees a book he thinks he might enjoy he buys it. He tends to buy 3-4 books a month. But only reads about 1 book a month. Now I have no problem with him buying books (though I find his aversion to the library odd) but ... we have limited storage space in the house.

His "to be read" pile of books is under his bedside cabinet and piled up next to it. It is fast encroaching on bedroom space. His "read" books are on one of our 3 bookshelves. Herein lies the problem - the bookshelves were full about 5 years ago when I first suggested that he might like to sort out some to get rid of. They are now double stacked and even then we are starting to run out of space. DH has kept every book he has ever bought (as far as I can see) and never reads a book again once he has read it once. I regularly get rid of ones that I won't reread so the books that I own are well thumbed favourites which are often reread.

I ever so often "suggest" he gets rid of some as we're running out of space. Hasn't happened yet. There's only so much sorting of my own that I can do. I'm getting increasingly fed up that I am the reader and yet my books are swamped by DH's (who has some that he read before I met him 14 years and has never touched since).

I don't have a problem with having the books per se (though I think keeping books you never look at is a bit odd) but we just don't have the space for them (actually we could do with getting rid of one of the 3 bookcases we do have).

Don't feel I can get rid of them without DH's say so (tis his stuff after all) but fed up of putting up with having them everywhere!

OP posts:
BrahmsThirdRacket · 21/02/2010 17:25

I am guilty of this sin so cannot advise. DP's response was to buy me an EBook reader for Christmas - this was after I took 6 books on a three day trip to Edinburgh...

5Foot5 · 21/02/2010 17:28

Crikey I didn't realize I had been married to a bigamist all these years! Oh wait, no it can't be my DH you are talking about since he does tend to read the books he buys.

But the way you describe book storage. Well all I can say is some of our shelves are triple stacked now and yes, DH has a teetering pile near the bed.

DD has gone the same way - her bookshelf is full and there are piles of books stacked here and there in her room.

I know I am not guiltless in this but I think I do tend to use the library more than they do.

Are you sure you can't find room for another shelf?

or maybe you need to take drastic action like clearing some of his books off the shelf to make room for yours and piling them on his side of the bed so that he is forced to face up to the situation

BelleDameSansMerci · 21/02/2010 17:36

I'm like this too... I used to read loads before DD but don't have as much time now. Hasn't stopped me buying though. I'm ruthless now though. If I think I'll want to re-read or give the book to someone else I keep it otherwise I do a cull every six months or so and take the read books to the Samaritans shop. They're often new hardbacks which are only just released so they're happy to take them. Right now, though, I have at least six "to be read" and have eight on pre-order (awaiting release dates) with Amazon.

You need him to adopt the ruthless nature or you do risk being over-run with books. I love books but even I can't see why anyone would keep a book they'll never read or read again.

When I was younger it used to be one of "do I take him seriously" criteria... If anyone came into my house and asked "have you really read all those books", they were very quickly history. Why would you have books and not read them or have read them?!

MayorNaze · 21/02/2010 17:38

do you have a loft?

i read on here that certain mners will automatically loathe me as there are no books in my house - there are, a whole library's worth, but all up in the loft as no space downstairs. i have 100000s

so no help here, sorry

GrendelsMum · 21/02/2010 18:30

This is really easy.

You simply book cull monthly, and his books go to Oxfam (etc). Books from stack by bed go onto shelves, books from shelves go to Oxfam. He will not notice. Seriously.

You can also do it more regularly, and book cull weekly and smuggle them out every day in your handbag and sell them for charity at work.

I promise you this will work.

And now I'd better go and cull books again.

Cloudbase · 21/02/2010 21:31

Ooh, I think culling someone else's things while they are not looking is very naughty indeed!

Maybe you could sit down and have a chat about the space situation in your home? It may be the case that he just doesn't realise how many books he has, or he may actually love all his books and would be very upset if they 'had a little accident' so to speak.

My ExH pursuaded me to throw out loads of my books due to lack of space and I took 18 boxes full down to Oxfam - and I have regretted it ever since (particularly since we later split up!)

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