In thinking that children with chicken pox and church are not a good combination

[planttheonions]

A mum who I used to be friendly with when we only had one child each had asked me if my dd wanted to go and play today. It had been arranged for some time.
Yesterday I got a message saying her older child had chicken pox, so she would have to cancel.

When I got to church this morning, the child with chicken pox, his brother and both parents were there.

I am aware of incubation periods etc, but given her second ds has not come out in chickenpox yet, am IBU in thinking that a church (with elderly, ill and pregnant woman (myself included)) all being in close proximity is not a good place to take children?

Her dh said to someone, apparently you can get chicken pox again and if you get it as an adult it is quite nasty. Both parents work in the medical profession so maybe IABU as they know better?

YANBU When my ds had pox a few weeks ago we just missed church that week. it's not fair to all the old and infirm people that go to be exposed to it.

If the spotty child is still infectious then they are being very unreasonable, but there would be no need to keep the un infected child isolated.

I understand your concerns, particularly as you are pregnant.

yanbu - we still went to the park, on picnics, sat outside coffee shops etc but we didn't go on buses, to church, library, toddler group.

however you don't know how long child has had pox for - one spots are crusted over (5-7d) he is no longer infectious, and it is a bit harsh to keep whole family quarantined for 3wks just in case someone else is migth develop it in the future.

You're right, you can get chicken pox twice - my DS had a severe case age 3 and then another (not quite so bad but still pretty spotty) case 1 year later - couldn't believe it (apparently, there are different strains of the virus)

If it is a church where people share the chalice, I would be a bit .

i must admit when dd1 had all crusted over from her pox we thought dd2 was likely to have caught it but as she hadnt developed the symptoms and had already been stuck inside for some time we did go to church as we didnt know for sure if dd2 had it or not. we did keep her away from most people and ran straight out afterwards. she did in fact have it and i kind of feel bad now that you have raised the point. but being stuck in when you dont know if you have it is hard to explain and even harder to do. anyway we had been in church for a packed christmas eve service the day dd1 came out in spots without even knowing she had it. we know definitely of a few others who caught it from d1 that day but we were blameless on that occasion. i think you are right and i now feel bad. but try to understand maybe why they did it?

nowwearefour, I do think what you're describing sounds a bit different? It sounds very reasonable, what you did - but the OP is saying this child still has obvious spots and from what I've seen, it is quite obvious when they are crusted over as the pale a bit?

YANBU - this selfishness really makes me angry. If I was you (pregnant) I would be very annoyed.

Yanbu.

I am pg and cannot make immunity.

If I get it there is a big risk to the baby. It is also a big risk to me - likelihood of pnuemonia, etc.

If someone is immunocompromised, it is a big risk.

Very selfish and unfair.

Btw, if you are worried you can ask for a blood test to check your immunity so you can get the immunoglobin (for you) if your dd gets it.
They do not routinely test for it in pg, umlike rubella, etc, despite it being as dangerous as it.

All the spots did not look crusted over - I was trying to keep my distance from all members of the family, but as far as I could tell they did not look dried up.
The little boy was not bothered by them, he had calamine lotion on them.

I was not annoyed just for myself, but others there including one who has just finished chemotherapy. Everyone who goes to the church on a regular basis knows this lady has just finished treatment.

Of course, I cannot lock myself in just in case I met someone who may be infectious with something or another.

Nowearefour - I completely understand what it is like to be stuck in at home with 2 children for whatever reason (snow, illness, weather etc) but in the case I am describing the parents were happy to let the children play with others, generally run around and not try to even segregate themselves at all.

Nicky - thanks for that information - my dd has already had it but will speak to my midwife.