My 9 year old acts like a teenager

[mrsrat]

I just don't know what to do. My 9 year old acts like a teenager. She mopes about, is rude and ignorant. She just shouted at me that she would rather be dead than be in our family because we asked her to be nicer to her litle sister. I know there are issues with sibling rivalry etc, but I have tried everything.
She is a complete drama queen and I don't know when to believe her any more. Any suggestions ?

Sorry, no suggestions from here, but phew - it's not just my 9 year old!

Sorry, can't really suggest much! My two older kids of 15 and 13 were like this at 9, particularly the girl. I thought she was maybe starting puberty early, but now I don't think so as she has just started periods at 13.

I was a single mum back then, and thought it was maybe something to do with that, but I have been with my new partner for 4 years now and they never really got any better. I put it down to attention seeking behaviour in the end, but it isn't easy to deal with.

I feel that they think of themselves as older than they are these days thanks to tv, magazines, friends' influences, etc and there isn't much we can do to change it!
Stay calm, don't react, be consistent and hope you don't get too many "teenage" outbursts!

Now I've got two more girls, so I've got it all to look forward to in the future again...........groan.

I would ignore the behaviour unless it directly affects your other DD. At her age, reasoning will only have a limited effect (she still won't be able to understand things from an adult perspective, and will subconsciously simplify them to her level of understanding). When my sister was around that age, no amount of reasoning would convince her that my little brother copied her because he admired her, not just because he was 'annoying'. Sibling rivalry can seem very out of proportion from an adult perspective, but she is still young enough to overreact witout realising.

There's no point in making an undue fuss, because she'll latch onto it (my sister grew up thowing minor paddies because they did generally get her attention, be it good or bad). Just try and stay calm and ride out the storm - at least when she's a teenager you'll know what to expect!

Thank god it's not just me! Anyone else really looking forward to the end of half term?

Ha! my 8yr old acts like a teenager!! and says her sister gets on her nerves..you are not alone!