That I expect people to just ask me something straight out instead of making irritating hints

[Abubu]

Yes , it's another MIL one I'm afraid.

We saw MIL yesterday, I drove her back home.
On the way home she said to me "that's a nice picture you've got in the living room" (a canvas picture I've just had done of my DDs)

So I said "thank you". End of conversation.
Then I got home and DH said "so did she ask you about the picture then?" I said that she mentioned she thought it was nice.

According to DH she had said to him that she wants one.
Fine, not a problem if she asks. But it annoys me that she does this all the time. She will never come out and just ask something. Based on past experience I know that she is now expecting me to beg her to buy it for her and if I don't she will get the hump.

My DH has asked her in the past why she just doesn't ask up front when she wants something and she said "because I shouldn't have to." Well unfortunately my mind reading skills aren't that tuned in.

AIBU that I find this a bit annoying and now feel I do not want to get her the picture until she actually asks me to my face?
Am I being mean spirited?

Thanks

if she asked dh then he should sort out getting her one, she hasnt asked you so not your 'job'.... I'd leave it unless directly asked tbh and if dh gets huffy its down to him...

and would she pay for it or expect you to pay? They're expensive things!

YANBU and you are not being "mean spirited". I too am unable to read minds. Perhaps if all the non-mind readers join hands and skip together the passive-aggressive sighing "nothing" brigade will get the bloody hint... although we should issue a written statement to make sure we're understood!

not in my opinion.

But then I have a MIL like yours. I am guessing that if you bent over backwards to keep doing stuff like this she would then find something else to have a hissy fit over - well mine would anyway so I tend to think - why bother?

Why the issue with actualy asking FFS???

Personally I would wait for her to ask me. If your DH/OH wants to arrange it for her now she has actually asked him then fine but if she wanted ME to do it then no - I would wait to be asked.

Hi,

Apparently DH told her to ask me because he doesn't really deal with photos and stuff (that's one of my Mummy jobs!) and doesnt know where to get it done.

So basically she just doesnt want to ask me for some reason but she will ask him?!? I'm not a ogre so i dont know why she wont ever ask me for anything! Cos if he hadnt mentioned it I would never have known.

Also I forgot to add - I have actually already given her this same picture in a giant sized print that she has hung up - I guess she just prefers it in canvas, but as she already has it even more reason why it would not click with me that she wants it in canvas instead.

Hi Issysmilkbottle,

No, she expects me to pay which is maybe why shes being so coy.

I don't have a problem with this as she is the girls grandmother after all, its just the refusal to ask that gets on my nerves.

Even more reason to wait for her to ask you imo.

Have you paid for the print she already has? An now like a kid in a toyshop she wants a canvas?? And wants you to pay for it????

If so, no wonder she wont ask - she knows she is taking the piss!

I don't understand. She has asked your DH, hasn't she? Can you not talk to each other?

Just a thought, but maybe, instead of replying 'thank you' when she mentioned it, you'd opened up a bit more and had a conversation about it - 'yes, I got it from so and so' etc, the talk might have come round to her asking or you realizing she wanted it.

It still would have been an annoying roundabout way to extract an offer of a gift, but at least you would have known what she was after.

Not suggesting all your conversations with your MIL are monosyllabic!

Either get her a Tesco Photo Catalogue so she can order one herself...

or..

Tis Mothers Day on 14th March, get one done for her for that... job done, 2 birds killed with one stone and all that...

TBH, her telling DH is enough of a hint, he needs to take up the baton and say, Oh MIL would like one, let's do it. She obviously finds it hard, thinks it cheeky, presumptive perhaps to ask outright.

If you go the Mothers Day route, hand it over and say, I know you told DH you wanted one, just as well you did, cos I'm hopeless at picking up subtle hints, so please anything you want, ask me outright? Pussy-footing about really doesn't work with me, and give her a .

I agree it is a bit cheeky but RubysReturn idea is a nice way to deal with it.

I had to when I saw your OP, the "this looks nice" line, I used to do it, when I was about 5yo. Got ma a nice fan and a nice hair bow from a cousin older than me!

Your DH is being unreasonable!!

Fine, he doesn't deal with photos and stuff, but if he knows she wants it, why doesn't he just ask you, instead of telling her to??

Other than that, yes, she is being very annoying.

I would take it to an extreme now, and whenever she mentions she likes anything, a cup of coffee, even the flowers in someone's garden, I'd ask her if she wants to you buy her some. Enough of this, and she should soon get the hint.

"I shouldn't have to" - rolled eyes X a trillion.

YABU I think, as I really think she can expect you and your DH to talk. His response is that classically given to a child by a parent, i.e. "go and ask your mother". I am not surprised a grown woman doesn't respond as you think she should in those circumstances.

If your DH doesn't think his mum is worth the money, then don't bother. Next time you are both struggling to think of a present idea for her get her a new photo of DDs enlarged onto canvas. Is a waste to do the same photo she already has imo.

Hi everyone,

thanks for the responses.
I think as she clearly wants it in canvaas, even though she already has the same picture on the wall we will get it for her for Mother's Day.

I think you should get her a different one in canvas.