to think that some people are just ignorant?

[MartinCrispyDuck]

I was just on the phone to a friend who described the housework she had done before her PILs arrived as 'like someone with OCD on ecstacy'.

This is something I notice more and more - people call themselves 'OCD' and call other people 'OCD' as an insult when actually it is a mental health problem which ruins people's lives.

Do they not understand that having OCD doesn't mean just ocassionally mean having a flick round with a duster, straightening a picture or washing hands which have just touched a bin? It doesn't mean liking to have a tidy house, or to keep yourself clean. It means hours of washing, cleaning of performing other, often distressing, rituals to keep horrible thoughts at bay. It means having images of dead, horrible injured friends and family pop into your head at any moment.

AIBU to think that some people are just ignorant?

No worse than saying

'im having a blonde moment'

or

'i nearly had a fit'

or

'you must be barking mad'

People can be offended by anything if they set their mind to it but, really, why would you bother?

Life's too bloody short. Move on.

LOL kinnies 'I'm soooo depressed' can usually be halted with a 'wtf have you got to be depressed about?' Unless they truly are depressed people they usually back track with 'well maybe not depressed but I'm not very happy'

It doesn't offend me, I just find it extraordinary that people don't think before speaking sometimes. And yes it is ignorance

Sorry, one more for the YABU pile...

Lighten up....

no offence was intended, you have to try not to be too critical, otherwise you won't have any friends left

Yep Nancy66!

I should be offended by all of these as i am,

1. Blond
2. Have suffered from epilepsey
3. Have a MH problem.

I agree that it would be a massive waste of time and energy being wound up all the time.

If the people mean no harm then why get ?

mylife - that is what my mother said to me when I told her i had PN depression. Seriously!

Obviously hormones and brainfunction aside I was tickety boo...

kinnies, thank God for people like you. I love your attitude and understanding.

Nancy - I think what you have said reflects my point

I would never say "ooh I had a blonde moment"
Or "I am so depressed", "I nearly had a fit" or "I must be barking mad"

Just as I wouldnt make off hand comments about people having ocd when they clearly havent

Because all the above comments are just as offensive to my ears as hearing someone call another person a 'mong' (as one of my ex friends does) or a 'paki' for that matter.

Not one more offensive than another, just that all such phrases are offensive to my ears!

Erm...would saying "I've been running around like a headless chicken" be offensive? To the headless I mean?

Am I better or worse off if I stick with the traditional "blue arsed fly"?

Seriously, lighten up. Take a chill pill (OK, maybe that's a step too far!)

Why thankyou Claig.

Tis a lovley thing to say

thehillsarealive - my mother said it to me when I had PND too. I ranted for 20 minutes before she agreed maybe I was depressed

Sounds to me like the OP has OCD & I don't think telling her to 'get over it' is very helpful, or
nice.

It is wrong to use the word retard, or paki, or make sexist comments, but it is OK to allude to having a mental illness because you are 'rushing around cleaning up'. When did this become acceptable?

My friend's 6yr old ds is showing signs of OCD, repeated hand washing, flicking lights on & off, refusing to open cupboards with his hands & using his wrists together, not touching anything his little brother & sister have touched....they are having him assess & they are very worried about it. If I made a comment about OCD in a manner similar to the OPs friend, they would probably feel very upset about it.

I think the consensus is that I'm being unreasonable, then, I take it back and realise that I'm going to have to develop a thicker skin in future.

It is interesting, though, that the majority of people who said I was being reasonable were the ones who had experienced some kind of mental illness in the past.

The thing is, things will always offend someone because of their personal circumstances.

To give an example: My mom's little brother hung himself. Whenever hanging is featured in a film or on a programme, my mom gets upset and angry, and says the producers shouldn't be allowed to include it because of the trauma it causes some people. However, she loves casualty, midsomer murders and other things involving gruesome deaths...she doesn't give a thought to people who are affected by those in real life, just to her own tragedy.

I'm rambling, but what I mean is I wouldn't make a joke about something to a person if I knew it was an issue for them, but you run the risk of upsetting people by accident every time you open your mouth.

Just to add, though, I do not include racist terms or words like 'mong' in this. They serve no other purpose but to offend, and I wouldn't use them. 'Having a blonde moment' however...most commonly used by blonde people, IMO, so not so offensive.

very well said abbierhodes, agree entirely.

Martin - if you read the thread I linked to you'll find it went in a different direction.

it is hard to take tho, I do get your point as to why you are offended MCD. so, YANBU to be offended, but YABU to call her ignorant.

thoughtless yes, but not ignorant, not really.

the thing is, every one of us here can be offended by things that every person says to us every day, if we really wanted to. My mother is schizophrenic, has been in a home all my life, I was raised first in care and then by my aunt, and thru my life I have had countless other things happen to me.

Now, people calling other people 'mental', now that could offend me, but 99.9% of the time they are not meaning it offensively, just as a joke/a wind-up/a throw-a-way comment....

and then other people could go on about psycho's, and rate them all as bad, which, going on my posting name, I could also take offensively......but they are not meaning it maliciously. (well, I would hope not).

things like being racist, or saying dreadful things about the disabled, yes, they are offensive, and should be taken as such, especially if said in a nasty tone accompanied by other agressive language.

but what you describe, the way your friend spoke.......no, she wasn;t meaning it in a harmfull or malicious way, she was just commenting on how hard she was cleaning, yes in a thoughtless way considering your own issues with OCD, but not nasty in any way.

In fact, I would bet she would be MORTIFIED if she thought that her comment had upset yu this much....I know that if I were your friend, I would be.....and I do have issues in that regard when I am highly stressed.

I hope you don't take it all to heart tho, and brew about it all night. You are stronger than that.

I've just been having a quick look through it, Bibbity - it's made me feel a bit better, actually - I've had an awful day today, compulsions-wise, and I think that the friend on the phone was just the final straw.

MartinCrispyDuck, if you have OCD and your friend knows that, then it is totally out of order for her to say that to you. Then your friend is not just ignorant but downright rude.

Psycho, thankyou for your post - it made a lot of sense. I've had a horribly tough day today - I fainted (which I know is nothing - I got too hot was all it was) and of course that set all my 'what if I'm ill' compulsions off, and then I start to get the pictures of me, well, being ill. On any other day, my friend could have said what she liked to me but today, after four and a half hours of making the kitchen 'right', it was enough to make me upset.

see.....you have overdone it, and made yourself go into overdrive, and she came along with her comment, and it was like 'the straw that broke the camels back'.

take a breather, and try and see it for what it is.....just a thoughtless comment.

sorry you have had a tough day. I had one of them yesterday.....started off in my DD1s bedroom looking for my fave nail scissors that she 'borrowed', only to be found 3hrs later by DH, shaking and quivering and speach gone again as I couldn;t just stop and ended up cleaning hers and her sisters bedroom.

and it has ended up with me being poorly today and my speech as bad as the day my neighbour called the ambulance.

so, I completely get the OCD......I suffer too....the girls were pleased tho.

maybe we should both try and have easier days tomorrow??

I think it's understandable that you got upset, and if your friend is aware you suffer from OCD, then she was being insensitive.
OTOH, people usually don't mean anything offensive by such words. I used to suffer from OCD- and still occasionally do- and even I make fun sometimes of my DP when he fusses about the mess and goes on a cleaning spree. But then I treat my ocd with humour, as it is a quite ridiculous disease- not to belittle anyone suffering from it, but ykwim.

I understand, winnybella.

Psycho - deal! You've had a tough day today, what with DS2 anyway - spend tomorrow being kind to yourself!

Depends if you are talking about mean or median average of intelligence.