Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

T osay we need to talk Im not happy

21 replies

mummybegood · 20/02/2010 20:55

he is working long hours for their business but it feels im alone on my own alot with the children, he is doing it for the future and I understand and I love him for all he does, he is a good provider but I wa smeant to go out tonight for a friends very important bday we did not get a babysitter becuase he did not want them to be with another we had one last week.
I said I was not going out I was not feeling so great plus we spent alot of money this week he says can I go to a party,he forgot he was meant to babysit for dc tonight and I said shows you dont listen go and Ill see you later..
Came home from work kids have been looked after no hot dinner, he is in bed and I have to sort out kids who have nbeen ill drop him off come back lost my temper with neighbour who's bday I was meant to go a friend of theirs was parked in my space when I came back kids crying grumpy in car this has happended four times in 2 weeks.
I lost it hardly spoke but you could tell I was mad, I have argued with parents saying you never help and told partner we need to talk aibu.please help me I really need your advice.

OP posts:
LIZS · 20/02/2010 21:02

Sorry your post is very confusing . He was due to be in with the kids, you said you weren't going out anyway, so he decided to go out instead ? Think I'd have told him to make his own way there and stayed put.

mummybegood · 20/02/2010 21:04

Thank you for resonding I just lost my temper and it all came out and everyone took the blunt of it, I have not said this but told him tonight it needs sorting im so sad.

OP posts:
Alambil · 20/02/2010 21:04

what's it got to do with your parents?

You weren't going out, therefore were on hand to stay in with the children - therefore, he could go out... nothing to do with forgetting; just a change of plans, surely?

You could have said "I'd rather not... why not spend a night together"

mummybegood · 20/02/2010 21:09

It had nothing to do with my parents I called them to moan, they went on to say you dont need to work I put phone down on them becuase I had to rely on mil to look after kids and feel they could help out more.I dont ask them to help unless I really need to.
Yes it was achange of plans and I wanted him to go because I was peed of I just was angry he forgot he was originally meant to have them.

OP posts:
mummybegood · 20/02/2010 21:19

bump

OP posts:
MrsSawdust · 20/02/2010 21:21

Sounds like there is more to it than what happened tonight.

Does he take you for granted a lot?

When was the last time you did something just for the 2 of you, without the dc?

mummybegood · 20/02/2010 21:24

There is so much more did not want to bore all mn, and I dont know when we spent time alone toghther usually he comes home eats,showers and to bed with kids.

OP posts:
compo · 20/02/2010 21:29

Yanbu
you need a good talk with him to tell him how unhappy you are

MrsSawdust · 20/02/2010 21:31

Perhaps your relationship has been overshadowed by the day to day running of the family.

I think if you feel he is taking you for granted, and you are unhappy more often than you are happy, then yes, you should tell him you want to talk about it.

What's he like when it comes to 'talking'? (My dh is useless at it- takes everything as an attack, goes on the defensive, or goes quiet. Drives me insane!)

mummybegood · 20/02/2010 21:31

Thank you Compo I know I need to but I will wait till tommorow I have even wrote down what I will say but thank you x.

OP posts:
bibbitybobbityhat · 20/02/2010 21:33

Yanbu. Get on and talk to him. No need to bump - if you are unhappy with your relationship you need to talk to your partner, not consult with Mumsnet about it.

mummybegood · 20/02/2010 21:33

I can talk to him I said to him late tonight Im serious we need to talk about us and our family he agreed and said we will talk tommorow lets see what happens then.

OP posts:
compo · 20/02/2010 21:37

Hope the talk goes ok, fingers crossed, let us know how you get on xxx

MrsSawdust · 20/02/2010 21:37

I always try to ask dh if he wants to get anything off his chest when we have talks like this. And I make some concession or other to please him. That way he feels that it's not just all about me making demands and he can get something out of it too iyswim.

mummybegood · 20/02/2010 21:38

I talk to mn becuase I dont feel comfortable talking to my real friends I dont want them to know about our personal relatinship, you will tell me the truth if I tell the facts thats why I talk about this to you.
I will talk to him tomorrow I have our children to think about,thanks.

OP posts:
MrsSawdust · 20/02/2010 21:41

Bibbitybobbityhat that's a bit unfair - everone who brings their problems to mumsnet ought to be doing something about it in real life. The OP needed to talk to someone neutral and that's what mn is here for IMO.

compo · 20/02/2010 21:42

Bibbity - we all use mn to rant , don't worry op xx

MrsSawdust · 20/02/2010 21:43

Good luck mummybegood.

mummybegood · 20/02/2010 21:46

Thank you Compo x, Mrs Sawdust I really appreciate your feedback Im doing this for our children as well, as well as us we have been together along time known him 19 years first true love. Thank you so much xx

OP posts:
claig · 20/02/2010 21:55

He is not paying you enough attention, he needs to spend more time with you and treat you special. When you decided not to go to the party, he should have stayed with you, but he buggered off instead. I think he probably doesn't realise that he is not paying you enough attention. When you explain it to him, he will realise and change his ways. Good luck.

mummybegood · 20/02/2010 22:01

Thanks Claig I do feel very unappreciated and I will point out to him although I think tonight he knows im serious, I will update you thanks xxx

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread