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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that this trend for teenage "proms" is a big load of

59 replies

morningpaper · 20/02/2010 16:46

This is new thing isn't it - I've had friends recently discussing the massive amount of £££ they are spending on their 15 year old's prom dresses.

It makes me feel rather depressed for these poor young things - more wanky princess fantasy fantasy crap. You just know they will get drunk and spend the evening sobbing because their best mate has shagged their boyfriend

AIBU?

OP posts:
TrillianAstra · 20/02/2010 17:54

YABU. A leaving-school paty is a nice thing to have, especially if the teenagers are going off to lots of different places afterwards.

Marne · 20/02/2010 17:55

I agree its wrong for 10 year olds and a waste of money.

Alcohol and sex should not be allowed but i'm sure you can't make sure no one gets drunk or has sex.

thelunar66 · 20/02/2010 17:55

DD's prom was a disaster really. Her best mate was slipped Ketamine, collapsed, and DD spent the evening sitting in A&E with her

oldernowiser · 20/02/2010 17:57

Horrid importing of American culture and just another way to part us from our hard earned cash in my opinion

MaureenMLove · 20/02/2010 18:00

YABU! I went to my secondary school prom last year and it was lovely! (the one I work at that is, it may suprise you to know, but I am not 16!)

The tickets were reasonably priced at a tenner, the girls bought dresses in a wide variety of places, on the high st and most certainly the majority of them didn't pay more than £20 or £30. The boys looked lovely in their suits, with their ties all done up. It was a pleasant change NOT to have to tell them to do them up for once! There was no drink served what-so-ever and everyone had a lovely time. Lots of kids turned up in limos and the like, but when you consider that they were sharing it with anything upto 10 friends, it wasn't that expensive.

I think it's a lovely way for them to bow out of secondary education. I know some of them were staying on at school, but still.

In a few years time, the only leaving age will be 18 anyway.

GypsyMoth · 20/02/2010 18:01

well all in its going to cost me in region of £200....with her 16th birthday being the month before...dont know how i'll affford it to be honest,but it seems like cant let her down. will have to cut back on her birthday i guess

Remotew · 20/02/2010 18:13

Same as us ThreeBlondBoys, 16th Birthday a month before. We will be looking in TKMax and Debenhams for the dress. Shoes will be a pair of killer heels. Ours is in a hotel. DD works so will be finding the money herself. OK I will chip in a little .

Jux · 20/02/2010 18:24

Ghastly. At the school disco all the Y6 girls were wearing prom-type dresses. Some mums were almost hysterical trying to find something posh enough for their dd's to wear. Luckily, there was no talk of limos.

DD has already told me she wants a pink limo with a swimming pool in it! I've told her she'd better make friends with someone rich.

primarymum · 20/02/2010 18:32

We have a yr 6 prom. Which sounds posh and expensive but isn't. As we are a small school we only have around 10 yr 6's so the end of term disco is open to all but the yr 6 children receive a handwritten invitation from the Head, they wear posh frocks ( think BHS!) and the boys wear suits if they have one or smart clothes if not. The rest of the children have to pay the £1 entry fee to the disco, yr 6's get in free and have free drinks ("party punch" with umbrellas!) and snacks all night. The girls receive a posy and the boys a buttonhole.The children look lovely and we take a photograph which we frame and give to all Yr6's as a memento. The PTFA pay for everything and it is a lovely way to finish the year!

serinBrightside · 20/02/2010 19:01

Threeblondeboys, Have you tried ebay? Friends DD got hers for £15.

Bad news everyone, My cousins in the USA are now having these balls every year!!

borderslass · 20/02/2010 19:12

In our part of Scotland the kids in high school don't have disco's, but formal dances all of them take place in school. The senior dances are lovely but all years dress nicely alot of the boys have kilts its really quite nice to see, but some go way over the top one girl in dd2's first year had a limo.
I usually get her dresses from likes of tx maxx Christmas past her dress cost £20 but the label had £90 on it.

DecorHate · 20/02/2010 19:13

They were around in my day too (not in the UK though). The strapless dress/fake tan thing had not started then mind you (this was the dark ages). We all wore hideous demure white dresses which were often home-made. I do remember however that it was very stressful having to invite a boy.....

Thankfully the yr6 prom thing has not started in our school however another local school has started having them and yes the girls all want to wear the type of dress that I wouldn't have dreamed of wearing even as a 16 yr old....

Miggsie · 20/02/2010 19:21

They are awful...the boys look like they wish they were somewhere else and the girls look like tarts in training

OtterInaSkoda · 20/02/2010 19:37

Proms are a sign of how young many/most teens are these days, or at least of how dependent they are. Which might be a good thing. Maybe.

There is no way on Earth that I would've attended any school-organised social event at 16. Or 13 for that matter. I remember watching US films and so on featuring proms and finding them rather quaint.

ilovesprouts · 20/02/2010 19:49

dd prom dress was £200 and whith other bits etc alltogether cost me and dh £500 and her prom dress is just in her bottom drawer !!

theminniebobble · 20/02/2010 19:57

I had the misfortune of staying in a hotel that was hosting a prom a couple of years ago. I was there on business so was looking forward to a quiet evening- dinner in the restaurant etc. I'm not Alan Partridge BTW.

No such luck. There were what I guessed to be 16 year olds with flesh a gawping running amok throughout the building, arguing over members of the opposite sex and clearly imbibing illicit alcohol in the loos. The supervisory members of staff looked harrassed and a couple of fights broke out.

I remember thinking at the time that I was glad that I hadn't had to go through that when I was their age. Underage cider was an integral part of my adolesence however that involved young farmers discos and Laura Asley dresses. None of this limo and pretending to be grown up malarkey.

ilovesprouts · 20/02/2010 20:00

oh by the way dd is selling hers if any ones looking for one

BigBadMummy · 20/02/2010 20:04

Bloody American import

Thankfully my DD and all her friends hate the idea of a prom at school so are boycotting it.

My DD is 16 the month before the prom so we have offered to do a 16th birthday instead, on the understandin that she can't have an 18th or 21st.

Thankfully all her mates at school love this idea and therefore arent going to the school prom.

sungirltan · 20/02/2010 20:12

god...my dh goes mad about 'proms'

he says.....

'why do we have to copy such a sad americanism?'

sprogger · 20/02/2010 20:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Remotew · 20/02/2010 20:43

It should be aged 16 after GCSE's. Some of them are leaving to take up jobs/college courses and even for the ones staying on it signifies the end of compulsory education.

Cannot believe some of the knockers on this thread. Also the kids who think they are too cool for it, why? Most of DD's fellow students are the same ones who were in nursery with her. I think it's lovely to celebrate it in this way and you really don't need to go over the top with the dresses. Most of the girls will look stunning in a nice evening frock.

MaureenMLove · 20/02/2010 20:57

I am shocked by how much some people on this thread are prepared to pay for a dress!

There are hundreds of prom style dresses on the high street these days. DD will be earning her own money, by the time she reaches the end of yr11 and she will have to live within her means (and mine!) I will, of course, add to the budget, but if I only have £20 to spare, then so be it!

(Ask me this again, when she 'graduates' from yr11, in 2012! )

Also, our school prom is not compulsory. The boys did not look uncomfortable in any way, no one caused a scene, because they all wanted to be there for the right reasons and whilst some of the girls were OTT, the majority of them looked bloody gorgeous!

Megletwantsittobesummer · 20/02/2010 21:00

yanbu. I am dreading proms (in about 13 years). It all sounds horribly competitive and destined to make the gobby kids and diva's unbearable while the quiet ones get ignored and feel bad about themselves.

Tortington · 20/02/2010 21:11

actually, whilst i agree that its a load of commercialist capitalist money spinning wank.

i also think that my daughter had a great time. she got to wear a 'big' dress and drive around in a limo. she got to have dress fittings and her hair and nails done the whole shabang.

As the trend towards not being married continues, dd will have had an experience.

now the second part to my reasoning is this

why should it only be the weathly who get these experiences? the girls and their 'Debuts' or 'coming out' parties in their nice dresses at their balls?

I am glad that these experiences are there to be had.

For dd, its the first time she's worn a dress since she was 6.

there is absolutley nothing wrong with wanting to be a princess for a day - and i for one and absolutley sick of this bra burning anti 'barbie' bullshit.

MaureenMLove · 20/02/2010 21:17

Hurrah for Custy!