AIBU RE THIS SITUATION..sorry .LONG

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Background-I am married with 3 children 8.5 and 2 years of age. We have had a hard time for the last 3 years with some seriously hard financial and personal times which consequently has left me suffering with depression on and off and currently suffering very bad.

I have dealt and resolved all of our difficulties on my own either actively and emotionally. My husband has buried his head in the sand and at times when I have asked for help and had meltdowns he has told me I am pethetic boring etc and left me to it. Without my mum I dont know what I would of done. Quire recently he has rejected my request to talk and try and sort things out and I am at my wits end.

Anyway my question is AIBU to not want to spend this weekend with his parents miles away playing happy families when i am just sorting my depression out with medication and i really dont feel I can cope with other people just now. I just want to spend some quality time at home with kids putting out marriage back together. He however is insisting because he has not seen them since xmas. What do others think??

Sounds like you've had it tough and I can understand why you wouldn't want to go.

How often does he normally see his parents? Tbh, I would probably go and show him that you are willing to make the effort for him.
Would his parents babysit one evening or for a few hours so you two could go out for a meal or even just a drink?

I would not go but make sure he went with the kids to give you a break and reflect on what you really want in your life, regarding all concerns and your future with your husband.

If he hasnt seen them since Xmas that's quite a long time. Couldnt you say you'll go but explain you really need quality time one day / weekend soon and you need to work on things.

PS Its 4pm on Saturday so not teh whole weekend really.

If my DH is going to see his parents and I don't want to go I don't go.

If he was being the husband he should be would you still not want to go or are you using this as a way of punishing him for not supporting you? Will things be said if you don't go?

When my deppression is bad I cant be around other people.
Sends me into a mad panic.
YANBU.
Could your Dh come to gp appointments with you so he understood more about your illness?
My Dh was an arse untill my gp told him what was what.
Hope you feel better soon.

It really will cause me a lot of distress, especially as we have to stay over the night. Also I cant bear him going and taking kids I need them with me right now.
As someone said there is some truth also in that I dont see why i should go along and suffer when he wont give me the time of day any other time. But again he has not saw them for 2 months, but right now My priority is being a good mother to my kids and i cant if I am there away from home cause I just cant cope with it now. I am not normally like this by the way...

I suppose from the outside it does look like I am very unreasonable but I cant think clearly right now.

Oh yes in response to another question there will be hell to pay if I refuse to go.

Just let him go with the kids and you have some time alone.

You are not a kid. He can't make you go.

if your kids would have a good time with their grandparents don't hold them back because you need them with you.
maybe dh cannot handle your depression? it can be very difficult to be with someone who is depressed. could he be depressed too? if your circumstances as a family have caused uo to become depressed, he could easily have suffered the same, although symptoms differ enormously between different people.

he can go with the kids.

you dont need them with you - it might actually be nice for them not to have to be a crutch - sorry to be blunt. might be nice for you to have some space and sort your shit out

If you don´t feel up to it, don´t go.

Could it really not have waited until you feel better?

Two months isn´t that long.

Yes I can see why you would say that. But its really not like that my kids are not my crutch defo not. But from I have told you I can see why you would say that.

Yes they would have a good time probably not the youngest shes only 2 never been away from me for that long.

Anyway I think I should probably not of posted on here its too complex a situation to explain. Anyway thanks anyway I it has at the least helped me to see it from a different point of view.

Will leave it at that.