to be feeling used by ex-partners new wife?

[vixadams]

My DD is now already 18 years old, and her father did not become involved in her life until she was 15 yrs old (another story)

Basically he was always a flaky unreliable man who works in the music industry (behind the scenes, non famous). Meeting her biological father was all she really wanted but they clicked really well, he and I staying firm friends and things became exceptionally reasonable - he even got on with my sons father, despite some previous dislike over who I was going to be with (years before, we have all grown up)

When he met DD he had a long term live in relationship with a lovely woman, but the old unfaithful self was still there - he got caught out and split with her which left him basically homeless (split between being on the road, his mums couch and an old cold camper van)

He spent more and more time here, and became more involved with one woman who had been a 'bit on the side' in the USA since she was 17!! Anyhow, she started writing to me, we hit it off great and became online friends

We had a few niggles in that she would make very inappropriate comments, nasty even and shrugged off as 'jokes' and some weird blogs that seemed meaningful but I ignored

Then they got engaged and she told me she did not need to speak to me much anymore!! What a fake. She then moved to the UK after the wedding (another horrible story) but did not really want to

We then fell out over a silly blog and she milked this to the extent that we exchanged emails, which where then passed around by her, causing fall out with ex partner and his friend who was dragged into it all too

Now ex partner has written to DD and said that they cannot have a relationship separate to this as his new wife is someone who has 'never done wrong and shown only love'

I wrote to ex to say BS and his choice to drop his daughter was disgusting

Then I got a call from the police telling me she has reported me for harassment!!!

I do not even live in the same city and only replied to an email from her once this year!!

I feel she is milking one argument to push me and DD out of ex partners life and is now trying to use other methods to get him to take her back to the USA!!

AIBU? (sorry for long post)

Painful as it is I think the best thing is for your DD to have nothing to do with this stupid woman and waste of space dad

YANBU she sounds like a bitch, and unfortunately so does he!

How do you feel used?

How do you feel used by the ex wife? in what way?

Its not her id be concerned about it would be my dd I would be concerned about, have you told her her Dad has put yet another woman before her?

They could go to fook as far as I was concerned, not worth breathing space.

Poor Dd and poor you!
The woman is a nut and your Ex P is just un-bloody-believable!

You cant do any more than you all ready have.

Hi and thanks for the replies

The reason I feel used is that I now think that new wife only made friends with me firstly to get closer to him, and then to cause as much harm as possible

I feel she mostly used a misunderstanding to milk a lot of sympathy and portray herself as a 'damsel in distress'

The fall out was over her slagging off the UK females would you believe, she created a blog that said UK women were weird for 'loving Lionel Ritchie' - tbh it was not a big deal but I asked her why she was taking issue and also why assume that the whole of the UK female population were fans (I don't actually rate him either way myself)

It was written on Mothers Day and she had real issues with that - she asked if my social network status on that Mothering Sunday of being a 'proud mum' was a dig at her?!?!?1

From that I invited her not to play dumb, that I am a proud mum because my kids were particularly lovely that weekend and not to be silly - that all else was childish

She got hysterical and called up Hubby while he was abroad stating that she felt vulnerable in the UK as I had 'turned on her' and she may get attacked by people I know?!?!?!?! Insanity!! I cannot fathom how he ever took it seriously and am left feeling that for him to do that, he must have really want DD out of his life anyway

I can move on from that in a heartbeat, as he is worthless to do that - DD does not feel the same - horrible man, I think he waited until she was beyond the age of child maintenance to turn nasty

Personally I don't think the issue here is YOUR relationship with HER and you feeling used, I mean really she sounds like an absolute doughnut. I would be so, so hurt on behalf of dd though and that is what I would be posting about not how all this immature nonsense made ME feel.

He sounds like he was always pretty no good and I would try very hard to let my dd know that and ensure she did not take it personally. That really would be my main concern here.

The three of you sound a little bit bonkers to be honest.