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Original poster

To be annoyed with my friends attitude

17 replies

Nancy10 · 20/02/2010 09:56

I have a friend who is more then happy for her and her 3 ds to walk mud through my house when they visit. Yet when we visit her she makes a real point of standing over us to ensure we've taken all our shoes off and placed them on the shoe rack. Her boys will actually 9 times out of 10 take theirs off but she never does. She lives in a new house and everything is new and clean, we live in a farm house and my house is clean and tidy but lived in and what I'd consider normal. She has carpet so fair enough it would mark, I have wooden floors which leave big foot prints and makes the floor wet! There are loads of other issues regarding what we can/can't do in her house. Yet I feel like she treats my house with no respect. How can I tell her without falling out. I'm so angry about it now!

OP posts:
jybay · 20/02/2010 09:58

I'm confused - why don't you just ask them to take their shoes off?

ZacharyQuack · 20/02/2010 09:59

Buy a shoe rack and stand over her when she arrives. Offer her a basket of manky old slippers to wear.

gorionine · 20/02/2010 10:00

do like her!""Yet when we visit her she makes a real point of standing over us to ensure we've taken all our shoes off and placed them on the shoe rack."" you have not fallent out with her because she does it so why should she fall out with you if you do the same?

diddl · 20/02/2010 10:00

Put up a notice-"no shoes past this point".

I always take my shoes off-even if people sy it´s OK.

Here in Germany it would be considered very rude to keep shoes on-no matter what the flooring is!

belgo · 20/02/2010 10:04

Nancy10 - then you need to tell her to take her shoes off, she does that to you, why can't you do that to her?

Earthstar · 20/02/2010 10:08

Do you take your shoes off at your house?

MitchyInge · 20/02/2010 10:08

she's incredibly rude to make you take your shoes off, how unwelcoming - what sort of way is that to greet people?

at least you have better manners

Original poster
Nancy10 · 20/02/2010 10:09

I generally say 'shoes off' as people come in, but she carries on anyway. We always come in through our back door because there is a large utility room for COATS and SHOES! I will stand there I think and put a sign up! I am annoyed because she should treat someone elses house the same way as she wants her house to be treated and she shouldn't need telling!

OP posts:
MitchyInge · 20/02/2010 10:09

it's just not the English way is it?

Original poster
Nancy10 · 20/02/2010 10:14

I agree MitchyInge! In the summer, I'm not too worried but in the Winter because we live on a farm it gets very muddy. It seems so trivial. It wouldn't annoy me so much if she didn't bat an eyelid when we go round to hers, but she is obsessive!

OP posts:
MitchyInge · 20/02/2010 10:21

if my boots are v muddy (which seems to be most of the year) I take them off or confine myself to boot room or kitchen (in other people's houses)

in own house I do track a fair bit of mud around sometimes but it seems odd to have less respect for other people's property than your own, that's what seems rude

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 20/02/2010 11:23

She is being very rude by tracking mud through your house, and I would be tempted to be very direct with her - 'Stop tracking mud through my house, dear friend - and here's the mop so you can clean up what you've already left!!'

Coldhands · 20/02/2010 11:50

That is very rude. You should definately make a point of telling them all to take their shoes off.

I used to have a friend who would make her DD sit to a table at home to eat anything, then she would come to mine and let her DD trample crisps into the carpet and say "gives Coldhands something to clean up ha ha". She knew how obsessive I was about having a clean and tidy home and how with M.E. it was actually a huge effort to keep it clean and tidy but she thought it was funny and I know she was doing it on purpose. People like this are total twats IMO and I can't be bothered with them.

Earthstar · 20/02/2010 17:07

Nancy you say "she shouldn't need telling!"
but you are re-inforcing her attitude that you don't much care by letting her get away with it...it's like with dogs, you gotta train 'em, no point relying on "they should know better" - Nancy sorry but I think that you are part of the problem at the moment - take control and become part of the solution - everyone will be happier if you stop behaving passively about this.

Original poster
Nancy10 · 20/02/2010 22:59

Well, they popped round this evening. In they all came, kids were fine. My friend got as far as the kitchen, then I said 'can you take your shoes off bitch She replied 'Oh, they're ok!' Before I had chance to say anything my 5 year old, shut the kitchen door and said 'You can't come in then!' It was so funny. I opened the door and she was laughing. So I quickly said 'Do you wear your shoes in your house? No! So take them off in ours. Earthstar you were right and we do otherwise get on. Still I wasn't quite planning that approach, but I think it's worked! I sympathise with you Coldhands, I like people to come round and feel welcome especially as mine is the biggest with the biggest garden. But some people really do take the piss!

OP posts:
StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 20/02/2010 23:57

Well done you - sounds like you (and your 5 year old) handled it beautifully!

Earthstar · 21/02/2010 07:40

Brilliant!
Keep on telling her if she gets it wrong next time.
She is a bit of a cheeky mare!

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