Should I be paranoid about this?

[pandora69]

I don't even know if this should be in AIBU or not.

We live in a lovely forest, in a tiny tiny house with a huuuuge garden, all surrounding by our own fields. It has often been pointed out to me (usually by OH's family) that our house is too small for a family, but we intend to extend it one day, and I am loving my daughter growing up in the fresh air. WE have a wendy house and a tree house, she has a pony and chickens - all outside. There is not much room for play inside. I often leave her to run around in the garden while I am gardening, yard when I am doing horses, etc, always keeping an eye on her but not carefully scrutinising what she is doing at every miunute. DD is 2.

Yesterday I was talking with another mother from the area who told me she has only just started to let her 8YO play in the garden without close supervision and her main reason for this is the snakes. The part of the forest we live in is nicknamed Adder Alley. We live backing onto a little cemetery in the woods that has a lot of old flat gravestones that the adders like to sunbathe on. I have never seen one, but I know they are about. They are quite large - my builders saw a 3ft long one sunbathing on a manhole cover in our garden once.

Now I try to educate DD about wildlife. Eg last summer I moved a shed and there was a bumble bee nest underneath it. Rather than teaching her to be afraid of the bees we watched them repairing the entrance to their nest, and repeated that mustn't touch them, just watch them. DD wanted to go and see them every day, till they left their nest, and never once tried to touch one. I'd like to see some of the snakes so I can teach her the same thing. My friend thinks I'm a bit mad to go looking for them, and that the safest way all round is too watch DD like a hawk whenever she is outside and at the first sign of an adder take her inside.

As an aside, OH spent the first 4 years of his life in West Africa, and his first memory is of the gardener using a long stick to throw poisonous snakes out over the garden fence. DD and his siblings managed to survive childhood in a wild place without being bitten or poisoned by anything!

What do you all think is the best approach? Education, or avoidance?

Ridiculous. Ignore the daft friend. And you do know that an adder bite is probably only as bad as a wasp sting? If any of you did get bitten (highly unlikely) you would be uncomfortable but fine.

Adders are pretty rare, if ou have lived there a while and never seen one surely that tells you something?

Educate yourself about adders, you sound like you think they are deadly to humans and grow to ginormous proportions.....

I agree! Education is the best way forward and children learn quickly. I think only just letting an 8 year old play in the garden unsupervised is incredible. Snakes probably don't want to be around rowdy people anyway and keep their distance to a point. I think it's great that your daughter has so much independance.

an adder bite for a young child is going to be a LOT worse than a wasp sting! you are right, they are not deadly poisonous to most fit and healthy adults.

I think you are doing absolutely the right thing - however i wouldn't "go looking" for them. The chances of your DD getting bitten are minute, but i would avoid teacher her to be looking under rocks etc as most snake bites will occur if the snake is disturbed suddenly, otherwise they will pretty much leave you alone. Your friend however, is barking!

I'm very very VERY of your little house and horses and chickens - you are so lucky

little house and outside space for us every time

(not that I would not have a bigger house if could afford it )

as for adders, could you just make it a rule for her to wear wellies outside? ankles would be protected then and as long as she knows not to touch the snakes she should be ok

wonder if you can keep some of the antidote in your fridge just in case?

" And you do know that an adder bite is probably only as bad as a wasp sting? If any of you did get bitten (highly unlikely) you would be uncomfortable but fine. "

Don't think that's really true, a quick google of "adder bites uk" suggests otherwise.

It sounds like a lovely childhood you are giving your dd.

AIBU to ask if i can come and live with you!

I love the sound of where you live. That would be my ideal life . Your neighbour is a paranoid person.
Children need to be out in the fresh air in all weathers. In the 1970's I lived in a rural part of Lausanne in Switzerland and we were basically left to our own devises all day in the holidays.
We would play in the woods and fields all day and not come home until dark.
The only thing our parents were worried about were rabbid dogs and foxes and they always taught us to avoid any 'friendly looking dogs'.
Anyway, Adders don't kill people in the UK.

YADNBU. We lived in Bangkok for four years, when we moved in we noticed a lot of snake skins in our garden. A couple of months later it became apparent why. We had mummy cobra and her 18 assasin babies living under the a/c unit. Our dd lived to tell the tale. We just told her to avoid snakes and always wear wellies in the garden.

You would be very lucky to see an adder, even if you went actively looking for one. Even people who really know what they are looking for struggle to locate them, they are extremely well camouflaged and hide very well.

Adder bites can be dangerous, but aren't usually fatal. I would probably teach your daughte to avoid snakes (better for the snakes anyway) and just leave it at that.

I would have thought an adder would probably hear your DD coming a mile off and get well out of the way anyway. They're pretty shy animals, very unlikely she'd get bitten unless she went and poked one, assuming she'd even get close enough.

Is there anywhere locally with a reptile house where you could take her to see snakes? You could teach her that way what they look like and that you shouldn't bother them, rather than trying to find one in the wild. Then if she did happen to spot one, she'd be less likely to get too close?

My quick google of the dangers leads me to believe
that there's probably more chance of your daughter being seriously injured in a household accident, than by an adder bite.

As you were.

Outdoor space to explore, and guidance to enjoy it. Your dd is very lucky and you sound like you get as much from it as she does

Thanks everyone - so I am not being irresponsible in allowing her to play in the garden then (although I didn't think I was.)

Wellies sounds a good idea, although could be tricky in the summer.

Btw, I don't intend to go lifting stones on my adder hunt! I would just take a stroll through the cemetery on a sunny day and see if there were any sunbathing. I ride my horse often in the woods, and the adder is the only animal I have not seen. All of the other reptiles (lizards, grass snakes and slow worms) have been spooted occasionally, and we see the larger mammals such as deer and foxes all the time. DD loves creature spotting

Wow your lifestyle sounds lovely!

I would keep an eye on things and educate her at the same time - rather like you did with the bees nest.