or PFB ish about this?

[Jenbot]

DD (aged 10 months) and I were going on a trip with all the local nurseries and baby groups. The coaches were over an hour late. The kids were all getting a bit bored by now.

I saw a woman I knew from my breastfeeding support group. Her DD was about 14 months old, in her pram. The mum wanted to go back to her car and get her car seat out ready to put it in the coach when it arrived.

I said OK, I'd watch her DD for her while she went to get it. I chatted to her DD and mine, waved things in front of them and pointed things out to them. Someone went past and said we were meant to register inside the school somewhere.

When the woman came back, I said I'd go to try and find out if anyone knew what was going on and if the coaches were due any time soon, and also register us both while she watched my DD to save us both carrying everything in and back out again. I said I'd be a few minutes.

She said OK.

When I came back outside, the coaches had arrived, and she'd parked my DD in her car seat on the floor in the pram bay and gone, with everyone else, to sit on the coach.

I was upset - she didn't know how long I would be inside, and there was nobody near DD. Fair enough the coaches were outside, and people were inside the school. But, surely you shouldn't leave someone's child unattended if you say you'll look after it?

And um, this was in July, and I am still upset about it! Reminded of it because I saw the woman again yesterday.

Was / am I being silly and over sensitive? I thought I'd ask here for honest views, because I'm not sure!

Was I being totally unresponsible to leave DD with someone I knew to chat to but didn't know super-super well?

You weren't being unreasonable to be cross but you are unreasonable to still be letting it bother you

Let it go - it all turned out fine.

I'd feel the same as you.
You didn't go off with or without her DD to register - you waited. As she should've done.

YANBU - What was she thinking?

You do need to let it go though. Just never leave you DD with her again.

I agree totally that YWNBU to be shocked and upset but it's a lesson well learnt - don't leave your DD with her ever again.

And no, you weren't being irresponsible - you had just done the favour for her, the least she could have done was return it for you!

I am that anyone who has a child themselves, especially that young, would think it ok to leave a baby outside on her own like that.

Still - it was a long while back, time to let go and move on, eh?

Nope, not unreasonable at all.

Was yesterday the first time you've seen her since?
Was it bothering you between July and yesterday or has seeing her just relit you're frustration?

Would say just stay away from her, not worth getting worked up about it now.

I had walked past her in the street since, but yesterday she was at a baby group I went to.

I think I was upset again because I had planned to say something to her about it at the time, then I couldn't actually go on the stupid trip because my stupid car seat wouldn't fit in the stupid coach.

So then I didn't see her for months and months and when I did see her, it was too late to say anything.

Well, if the majority of people on Mumsnet think she was wrong I feel that gives me a bit of closure anyway.

YANBU at all. Is what is bothering you still the fact that you didn't confront her at the time? Because I think I would have done similarly, bottled it up and therefore been unable to get over it and move on.
You weren't irresponsible in leaving your DD with her though, you couldn't be expected to foresee that SHE would treat her responsiblity to your DD so casually.

X-posted with you!

She is not worth knowing.

that makes sense, Jenbot - I think I would probably still be hanging onto the feelings as well under those circumstances. Hope this does let you get it out of your system, and if it doesn't then write her a letter explaining how you felt about it at the time - but DON'T send it, destroy it. It will be very cathartic, I can assure you.

YANBU, it would still bother me too. I can't believe someone would leave someone elses child like that! If someone asks me to watch their child, I make sure I am extra vigilant (not that I am not vigilant about looking after my own) but I don't want to have the responsibility of knowing it was my fault it something awful did happen!

MIL/FIL didn't do my DSs straps up properly in the car seat ages ago and when I pointed it out all I got was "oh well we can't be expected to remember everything". It still grates, but I think it was the attutide more than the event.

You definitely not being unreasonable I would be upset too. Would be upset in relation to any child, do not think you being PFBish at all. Not so much that something would have happened (unlikely but still) but the blatent disregard shown to my precious baby by someone I had specifically asked to look after her would upset me. It also gets to me when people do to me something I would NEVER do to them - as seems to have happened here. Not sure there is anything you can do about it, though think I would not be able to resist telling other parents about it if she ever came up in conversation, so they dont ever ask her to do anything responsible for them.

I'd still be stewing about it, especially if I hadn't had the chance to tell her that I was upset by her actions. If someone did this to me I'd be livid. She was completely selfish, IMO.

Obviously, it's better to let it go now. If she's not a friend, just don't bother with her.