To not want teenage DD to go to 'under 18' disco nights?

[BigMomma3]

Especially as she lied and told me it was a birthday party .

She is 13 and is constantly asking me if she can go to these under 18 nights at a local nightclub. I have said No, there will be no nightclubs (underage or otherwise) until she's 16, as there will be older boys (yikes!) there and she will want a boyfriend and want to do things too young etc, etc.

She told me tonights party was a birthday party, even buying a birthday card, the lying little moo! I thought it was strange that DD said she needed money for entry and drinks but assumed the parents of the girl were tightasses! I insisted on dropping her at the door to the club and her friend who was there said 'you know it's not my birthday' when DD gave her the card - busted! When I asked what the party was for her friend said it's for under 18's . I called DD as soon as I left and told her she is in big trouble when she gets in later and am considering terrible punishments now.

But AIBU in not letting her go to any others, there is obviously no alcohol, it's just the nightclubby atmosphere I don't like. Lots of boys much older than her. She's too young! I was not even allowed to loiter round town with my mates until I left school let alone go to discos!! She is not sensible and very easily led so cannot be trusted either. DH is still at work and went apeshit when I told him. AIBU??

OH, I've been here!

Tis hell on earth, worrying about them going for the first time. Especially as my mind was clouded by the fact that I went to that particular club a million times in my late teens and early twenties!

However, they really are ultra safe. As someone said further down, it's not worth the risk of loosing your licence to the night club. There were hundreds of Hi Vis people milling around and DD tells me, it was also like it in the toilets, so nothing would get passed them. There was also plenty of police around at chucking out time and by the time she'd been 2 or 3 times, I didn't worry at all.

They are only once during every school holiday and actually, she didn't go at Christmas and she hasn't gone this week, so I guess it's loosing it's excitement already.

As for the boys. There will be older lads there, but frankly 16 year old boys would rather been seen dead, than admitting to going to the under 18's disco, so chances are they will just be her class mates and possible one or two years older.

The lying is a whole other thing though. I'd have left DD there too, just the knowing she's in heaps of trouble when she gets home is good!

Give her hell and certainly ban her from going to the next couple.

I wasn't allowed to go to "Nappy Night" until I was 16. I was lucky that my best friend also wasn't allowed so we just blagged that we didn't want to go to our other friends so as not to appear uncool

Once I was 16 I went every week for a couple of months then decided it wasn't "all that" and I hadn't been missing anything.

I can't imagine allowing my DD when she is 13 and think 15 is more appropriate.

I used to go to one in the function room of the social club opposite my mums house, and they were definitely not well supervised. I, along with many of my friends, did things we shouldn't have. People had 'water bottles' which were actually full of vodka etc. They got banned in the end because two of the boys kicked off in a major way, had a fight with the bouncers and one of them got dragged off in a police van. I was back at home, and my mum was watching out of the window and said 'Who is that boy being taken by the police?' 'Oh that's Dean mum, my boyfriend'...

They were great fun, but a parents worst nightmare! If there had been another, I wouldn't have been allowed to go!

I think 13 is a bit young TBH but it depends on how mature she is and whether she is sensible enough to know what she should and shouldn't do. I used to go to "college" parties (although it was riddled with GCSE students) when I was 15 were alcohol was served. Either mine or my friends parents dropped us off and picked us up afterwards. It was fantastic and we felt so grown up.

I think 13 is a bit young.I let my dd go at 15 and prebooked a taxi[Ladycabs]to bring her home.They may not sell alcohol but it can get in!

YANBU-13 is far too young. You have 16 so 16 it is.