to not help my friend socialize her child....

[onebadbaby]

My good friends DS has what I consider to be issues with social skills.
In the past we have met in the hols and the children have played. My DD is 2 years younger and although says enjoys playing, spends a lot of the time crying because her DS has done one thing or another my DD finds unacceptable (lots of teasing, hiding toys, throwing things etc.).
However my main issue is her DS is prone to violent outbursts if things go wrong which can involve biting, kicking, and general physical violence.
She is homeschooling him because of problems at school and wants her DS to develop social skills. I don't really want my DD to have to endure this childs company, and I worry that he could really hurt her, but should I help my friend??

I wouldn't help her at the expense of my own dd. If her ds needs to learn how to socialise, imo she needs to get him involved in activities like sports, scouts, theatre club etc.

Yes. But not by offering your daughter as a punching bag

My children both have autism, and when ds1 was a toddler, he was very aggressive.

Putting another child into that situation and trying to teach him by what? saying "no" every time he hits out or snatches or does something else?

I understand where she's coming from, I do, but it's not the way to go about it. She is thinking only of her son - understandably! - but she's failing to consider the effect on your daughter of being put into a situation where she might get hurt.

If your friend wants to help her son, she would be better served by approaching her gp and asking for some help, a referral.

Agree with broccopolli

If his behaviour is so extreme that he's not coping in mainstream school, then I think your friend needs specialist support, through structured groups and activities. Having meet ups with one other child 2 years younger who is upset because of his behaviour probably isn't likely to make much impact anyway, so you needn't feel guilty.

Thanks violethill, you have put it in perspective for me. That is exactly the problem. My friend thinks her DS is behaving badly at school because the school have handled him wrongly. I personally think the child has some serious issues and needs expert help but not sure how to tell my friend this.

Actually, not sure it is my place to tell her at all!