...to be irritated by people who say 'can you remind me to do this'?

[SpeedyGonzalez]

I used to grit my teeth and agree to remind them. Now I just say 'why can't you write yourself a note?'

I say this as someone who is apt to forget things. But I've never been one to expect others to remember for me, and nowadays I force myself to be more organised! Surely we shouldn't expect others to take responsibility for our memory failures?

One thing I do say to people is 'If I forget to do x for you, please don't feel bad about reminding me' - but the onus is still on me to remember the thing.

Doesnt remind me to do whatever mean can you do it in case i forget?

YANBU!! Dh does this, drives me mad, I have a terrible memory. Doing this is just abdicating all resposibility for him remembering so he can blame me.

I just refuse and cite my appalling memory.

I sometimes ask people to remind me to do something ...although usually only DH or other family. However - I do this because if I have a thought in my head, eg stop at the cashpoint on the way back, I need to say it out loud in order to remember it. If I keep it as a thought to myself, I forget it and it gets lost amongst all the other thoughts (when's lunch, where's my lippy gone, what's that funny smell etc etc). By saying it out loud I stand a bigger chance of remembering it - and I don't actually ever expect anyone to remember it for me!

So, if people actually expect you to remind them, and get cross if you don't, then YANBU. However, if they mention it as a thought they have whilst talking about something else, and never expect you to remind them, then YABU as it is just their memory strategy. Which is fine. 'Cos I do it. And am never wrong or unreasonable.

ha!..I'm truely rubbish at reminding myself more less someone else!..I just say 'yeah' and if I happen to remember it's a bonus ..nothing to get upset about..its still their problem the onus is never on you..

I hope we don't know each other, for your sake.

If we do, I'm sorry for asking to be reminded of things on a regular basis!

I always ask people this. They rarely remind me but I assumed it is becuase they forgot too but maybe they get pissed off like you. Seems a rather irrational thing to get bothered about but seems you have a following. Heigh ho

My husband went through a phase of ringing me up AT WORK to ask me to remind him to do something. Naturally I told him to eff off, in the nicest possible way, so he eventually stopped doing it.

I did used to wonder if this meant I was a bitch wife from hell, so it's nice to know I'm not the only one who thinks that was an appropriate response.

Rofl at parakeet! Slightly off-subject, but still related: this evening, DH went to bed for nap and said 'my alarm sometimes doesn't work, so could you wake me up in an hour?' He said this while I was in the middle of working. So I said 'No, use my phone alarm instead'. At first he refused, preferring me to come and wake him - WHY??? Eventually I made it clear that there was no way I would be interrupting my work to wake him if he couldn't be bothered to (a) spend more than £2 on an alarm clock and (b) use my phone alarm. He got the message.

You are SO right. Dh does this and it makes me explode. I have enough trouble remembering my own to-do list, let alone his as well. Grrr.

FFS - maybe we should all just stop speaking! Mustn't ask this, mustn't say that, mustn't comment on the other - since when did people get so bloody uptight??

ROFL - hypocrite! You're getting uptight about people getting uptight!

When someone says "can you remind me to do x and y" I usually reply, "of course. Please remember to do x and y."

That usually solves that nicely .

Oooh, like it, Jacksmama!

KirstyJC - I have had people get cross with me in the past - when I was too much of a doormat to stand up for myself. Eejits.

Valhalla, actually we do know each other in RL, and it was a convo with you which inspired this thread.

YABU, it is not a biggie an d you are being a miserable wotsit , no doubt you are perfect

Yup, perfect. That's me. That's why I called myself 'hoity' in my OP.

you wanna know how to stop them???

do what I do, when DH asks me to remind him of something, or to do something, or to remember an appointment for him, I then remind him every 5mins for as long as it takes to piss him off......I write notes, text him, ring him, tell him, go over and tap him.....any and all ways to annoy.

and each time, I just say I am doing what he asked me to do, ergo, remind him.

tis lots of fun, and it soon gets the message across

i do this, the way i see it is most of the time i'm supposed to be doing something for them (i.e hairdressing/babysitting) so if they want it done they had better remind me the day before! anyone who knows me knows i am forgetful

I just say "remind me to remind you" or if I am feeling particularly helpful, when they ask "remind me about X" I reply "remember about X"

The way I see it, they are trying to make it your responsibility. If they forget, they can blame you for not reminding them.

DH does this. He rings me up and says can you write me a note to do this?? I just say yes and don't do it. Its at least once a day he does this. Drives me nuts.

Think I may take psychomum's approach. Should sort it out.