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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can I ask your opinions on this please.

24 replies

Disenchanted3 · 16/02/2010 15:35

What would you think if a MIL was taking her Grandson to a party (he is only 2yrs old) and she collected him from his Mother then went to her other Grandchildrens house and asked for another set of clothes for the party?

Meaning she felt that the jeans and T-shirt wasn't good enough for the party so borrowed a whole other outfit and told the childs mother that the reason for doing so was he spilt a drink on his clothes before the party, when in reality she just wanted him to be more dressed up.

?

OP posts:
southeastastra · 16/02/2010 15:37

i'd think she was a nutcase in all honesty

PeedOffWithNits · 16/02/2010 15:38

i take it you are the first mother?

I would seriously consider telling her whats what, if she wants to be allowed to take him out on her own she is a bit more respectful to you

do you have other ishoos with MIL?

StewieGriffinsMom · 16/02/2010 15:38

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OldLadyKnowsNothing · 16/02/2010 15:38

Does it matter?

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 16/02/2010 15:41

I would wonder why she hadn't asked me to put him in something smarter if she felt the party required it.

l39 · 16/02/2010 15:42

Wow. She didn't have the right to do that.

I suppose it would be more understandable if it wasn't a children's party, but some kind of formal occasion and her main concern was the photos? On the other hand, he's 2! Dressing up a 2-year-old in formal attire is pretty pointless.

WeddingDaze · 16/02/2010 15:42

I would think she is a LOON!

Original poster
Disenchanted3 · 16/02/2010 15:44

No, I'm the other Grandkids mum, so she knocked on my door and asked for an outfit.

I only had DS2s new stuff for holiday so gave him a BN shirt, jacket (lined one with badges not formal) and jeans, she said she would return them that day. She still has them.

OP posts:
tethersend · 16/02/2010 15:44

I would think she was crazy.

I would hope Grandson shat himself in the new clothes.

tethersend · 16/02/2010 15:45

Unfortunate x post there, Disenchanted.

They are my speciality.

thenameiwantedwastaken · 16/02/2010 15:46

Maybe she wanted to show off her grandson to all her friends at posh do. Maybe after she left your house she started thinking, 'Well, it is rather a dressy party, he'd look so cute in that outfit DGS1 has and Dierdre's grandaughter is bound to be in a lovely dress. I think I'll just pop into my other DIL's'. Then didn't want to offend you so told white lie about drink spillage.

Or maybe she is a bit loony.

Original poster
Disenchanted3 · 16/02/2010 15:46

hahaha maybe thats why she hasn't returned them?

OP posts:
MrsSawdust · 16/02/2010 15:47

At least she tried to spare the mother's feelings by making up an excuse for doing it.

I've read MUCH worse MIL behaviour on here to be honest. Get over it.

GrimmaTheNome · 16/02/2010 15:47

I'd say you have a daft MIL and it was unreasonable of her to expect you to provide clothes (and even worse not to have returned them pronto). Had she actually spilled drink on the boy to force you to comply?

fillybuster · 16/02/2010 15:47

Mad. Mad as a hatter. And how annoying...!

mazzystartled · 16/02/2010 15:48

Disenchanted I would have said no to her

Because 1. it's unnecessary to be dressed up for a party when you are 2, 2. it undermines your SIL and 3. she should have had that conversation with the child's mother, if it really was a problem.

parakeet · 16/02/2010 15:49

So you have essentially colluded with the MIL in telling porkies to the child's mother?

She has put you in an uncomfortable position in my opinion.

Original poster
Disenchanted3 · 16/02/2010 15:50

No, there was no spillage she just told other DIL that.

MrsSawdust believe me we have worse from her, this incident was just slighlty bizarre!

I was just thinking how upset/offended I would feel if I were SIL!

OP posts:
ScreaminEagle · 16/02/2010 16:07

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GoldenSnitch · 16/02/2010 16:12

Sounds like my MIL!

Only mine had planned the outfit change so thoroughly that she'd actually been out, bought and washed a whole new outfit for DS to take him to a panto in

I was slightly hurt that she'd assumed that I wouldn't dress DS up nicely enough but let her off because...

  • She had apparently pre-warned DH that DS would need to be dressed up for the panto as is has become something of a tradition to wear smart clothes - she assumed (rightly) that DH would have forgotten to pass the message on and knew I was too busy to get anything last minute.
  • DS got a whole new outfit from John Lewis out of it and I rather like the sweater and cute navy cords she picked.
  • one SIL had been to visit that morning and 2nd SIL brought the clothes over to change DS into when she visited later on. First SIL told MIL that DS had a smart shirt on with his jeans and MIL said that she hoped I wasn't offended.
  • I'd had a new baby less than a week before and it was the least of my worries
CheerfulYank · 16/02/2010 16:24

I'd be irritated at her having put you in that position (lying to SIL.) What is SIL like?

StealthPolarBear · 16/02/2010 16:26

so the mother dressed him in jeans, and the "better" outfit was also jeans??

UndomesticHousewife · 16/02/2010 16:28

My mum would do this, well she'd actually tell me that my child can't go to a party dressed like that 'she looks like a boy, where is her party dress', she has said this before. But I can tell my mum to mind her own beeswax, MIL on the other hand I'd be livid. But that says a lot about my relationship with MIL which is a bit stilted at times.

wastingaway · 16/02/2010 16:29

Was the outfit she'd put him in scruffy?

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