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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In not wanting to.....

29 replies

GeraldineAubergine · 16/02/2010 14:42

Hi, this is a moan really but i am also interested in others opinions. I am pregnant (41 weeks + 2) and have appointments at the hospital tomorrow in the 'prolonged pregnancy clinic'. My aunt who lives in the midlands has insisted on visiting me tomorrow despite the fact that I asked her not to as I would be tied up in hospital for a few hours potentially.
As well as this she is going to bring her friend who also lives near me to visit me as well. I have tried really hard to put her off till thursday (she is staying with said friend for three days). I don't particularly want to see her friend as I hardly know her and am feeling really uncomfortable now. She says 'it would be easier for us to visit you tomorrow so that is what we will do'.
So AIBU or is she?

OP posts:
McDreamy · 16/02/2010 14:49

Oh my word she is being so unreasonable. You need to be firm here. Can't you tell her you just aren't available if she won't take no for an answer? Tell her there's a massive chance you might be kept in or tell her you are getting tinges and think this is it?

Jacksmama · 16/02/2010 14:49

Sorry but your aunt is being a cow. "It is easier for us so that is what we will do?" Blimey!!

Could you go to your appointment and then find somewhere very comfortable and relaxing to go to (spa for pedicure and manicure comes to mind) for several hours after? So you won't be home when she shows up? And then tell her, "sorry but I told you I'd be at the appointment, it took much longer than I expected".

What utter cheek!

YADNBU!!

Jacksmama · 16/02/2010 14:51

Just saw that she wants to bring a friend too - am and on your behalf... has she any children? You're overdue and the size of the Albert Hall and she wants to inflict some random stranger on you as well as herself when it's clearly not convenient??

Give me her number, I'll ring her and tear a strip off her!!

StealthPolarBear · 16/02/2010 14:53

"no, you are not coming tomorrow, tomorrow is not good for me"

PeedOffWithNits · 16/02/2010 14:55

I cannot believe the cheek of the woman!

hot curry tonight for you, that'll get you out of the way and "inconvenience" them! LOL

Pikelit · 16/02/2010 14:55

You are out tomorrow. All tomorrow. Sod what the aunt and unknown friend consider convenient. Just say no.

carrieboo75 · 16/02/2010 14:55

I can't imagine you are going to feel any better in the next few days, in fact you are likely to feel worse, if they give you a sweep then labour should start within 24hrs. I would just let her visit and get it over and done with so you have time to rest the next day before labour kicks in. However, if you do not want them to visit at all then you are fine to say so, it's your house, it's up to you who comes over.

KurriKurri · 16/02/2010 14:55

Put your foot down now, or she will be turning up willy nilly after the baby is born. She sounds completely self absorbed.

PeedOffWithNits · 16/02/2010 14:55

I cannot believe the cheek of the woman!

hot curry tonight for you, that'll get you out of the way and "inconvenience" them! LOL

PeedOffWithNits · 16/02/2010 14:56

ooops what is going on with my computer

Pikelit · 16/02/2010 14:56

"I have a hospital appointment tomorrow, I shall be occupied with this. So I'm afraid tomorrow isn't convenient. Cheerio"

It's all you need to say.

Sparkletastic · 16/02/2010 14:57

YANBU - make your excuses or just tell her you've thought about it and decided it will be 'easier' for you not to have any visitors.

RoseWater · 16/02/2010 14:59

Unbelievable cheek of the woman -like Jacksmama's idea of going off somewhere for the rest of the day , but really, you're heavily pregnant and probably want to veg on the sofa with chocolate rather than avoid going home.

I would be tempted to ring in the morning and say you're being kept in.

Original poster
GeraldineAubergine · 16/02/2010 15:00

Ok thanks all for the responses, I feel a lot better since writing it down and I think I tell her that I am stuck in hospital and avoid hurting her feelings.
Jacksmama she does have adult children but to be honest she is sometimes a bit insensitive.
Thanks again.

OP posts:
catwalker · 16/02/2010 15:16

I think I got to about 41.5 weeks with number 3 - and he was a whopper so watch out! I was so big I had to sleep sitting up as I couldn't breathe properly lying down. Could you say you aren't sleeping properly on a night and need to keep grabbing 40 winks regularly throughout the day, but you'd be delighted to see your aunt next time she's in the area?

Jacksmama · 16/02/2010 16:47

"A bit insensitive"... I'll say!! As for not hurting her feelings... WHY NOT?? Sounds to me she needs a slap upside the head her feelings hurt a bit to wake her up to the fact that she is not the centre of the universe.

TottWriter · 16/02/2010 17:31

So she's had children, knows you're overdue, and STILL hasn't really considered that there is every chance you could go into labour? I don't know the full circumstances, so stop me if I'm missing something, but honestly?

Also, I've had friends of family dragged round to see me (when my DS was a few months old), and it always ends up with me making cups of tea and then sitting there twiddling my thumbs trying to think of something to say. Awkward at the best of times, and certainly not something anyone should inflict on you when you're that pregnant.

Definitely NBU.

gorionine · 16/02/2010 17:36

Definitely BU

Her though, not you!

LilRedWG · 16/02/2010 17:38

Personally I'd just call her and say that you will be out at the hospital ALL DAY tomorrow so can't see her.

Rhuidean · 16/02/2010 19:08

Answer the door in your pjs and tell her its not convenient Dont forget to take any gift first tho!

busymummy3 · 16/02/2010 19:19

Dont bother answering the door

DonDons · 16/02/2010 19:34

I went for my 41+3 appointment and ended up staying in hospital - so YANBU - you might not be coming home on the day or empty handed!

Rhuidean · 19/02/2010 17:48

...am waiting to hear about an arrival...

Original poster
GeraldineAubergine · 19/02/2010 22:14

Rhuidean, sad to say no baby yet, induction tommorow! Scan estimates 9lb 10 oz! Eep!

OP posts:
LilyLovesSid · 19/02/2010 22:19

Good luck Geraldine

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