To ask mates to donate to charity rather than send us stuff

[Pennies]

Yesterday I had a bilateral mastectomy because I have breast cancer.

Since my diagnosis I have received so many beautiful flowers from lovely friends and my family too.

We have had loads of people asking what they can send us (bearing in mind they've already sent me flowers after my previous op a month ago), and there really is nothing so we thought we would say that if they really wanted to do something then we would appreciate a donation to breast cancer research.

Is this terribly rude and ungrateful?

Not at all. Good luck and a speedy recovery. X

No. I was going to pile in and say it's a bit sanctimonious, but that's if you're talking about a birthday or wedding or similar. In your situation it's perfectly appropriate.

not at all rude and ungrateful. It is a lovely idea.

I hope you have a speedy recovery. My friend was as good as new after hers, several years ago.

YANBU - a donation to a charity doing breast cancer research would be entirely appropriate. After all, I'm sure there is absolutely nothing material you'd prefer to a cure for cancer.

Best wishes for your recovery.

I agree absolutely and I did the same when I had my bc treatment.The problem was that most people did both!I also felt a bit,'no flowers by request,donations to bc charity in lieu'as if it was a funeral!!I know,I'm daft but it made me feel funny.

LOL @ Pranma, yes it is a bit funereal. How are you BTW, we've missed you on the tamoxifen thread.

I am fine thanks.I read the thread every day but I dont have a lot to say-I'm a bit boring I'm afraid!

If my friend said this to me in your circumstances I wouldn't find it rude and ungrateful at all.

If you aren't particularly bothered about the donations, I guess another option would be to say that you don't need anything material, their love and practical support that they are already giving is worth far more.

Best wishes.

Think its a truly brilliant idea and would back it one hundred percent. Alternatively if you have any friends or family doing the race for life or other similar event, ask them to sponsor.
Best wishes to you

YANBU.

Best wishes for a speedy recover x.