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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be thinking about re-homing my bloody cats?

89 replies

Spidermama · 15/02/2010 17:42

We've had them since kittens and they are now two and a half year old.

One of them is fine. She's out most of the time. She brings in live prey from time to time (rats and shrews) which isn't ideal but she's a cat and I could always get her a bell. My only real beef with her is that she's very fluffy and gets shite caked round her arse.

The other is very beautiful, more timid than her sister and doesn't go out very often. She is pissing me off and every day I want her to go and live somewhere else. She's always after me demanding and being needy. If it's raining she has been known to poo indoors. I've been tolerant up to now but that tolerance shattered when, last week, she squatted down and pissed in my hangbag. I was right there watching.

I grabbed her and locked her out for a few hours. Since then I haven't really been able to make up with her and I just don't like her. I want her gone.

Up to now I have never understood how people can re-home their pets, but I just feel she's too demanding.

Also why the hell doesn't she hang out with the kids? They're great with her. Why is it just me she wants?

I know they are s'posed to be part of the family blah, blah, blah, but I want her out.

OP posts:
SleepingLion · 16/02/2010 09:24

I can sympathise - our cats are out during the day (when we are at work) and in at night - we don't have a cat flap. The girl is lovely and balanced - she will come for her cuddles and then curl up on her spot for the evening - but the boy is so needy it does sometimes drive me mad. He follows me all the time and when I sit down he climbs right onto my chest and puts his face into my face - is a little off-putting when you're trying to watch TV

katkit · 16/02/2010 09:27

the pooey one's out all day- the needy one has a clean bum!

itsmeolord · 16/02/2010 09:28
GettinTrimmer · 16/02/2010 09:31

You sound like you have enough on your plate already so not suggesting you have the time or the inclination to do this, but in my experience of having needy cats the more tlc and attention they get the better they behave.

I have a litter tray for my old cat now, and she has chronic kidney disease - we have to put a pill down her throat every night, and give her a special diet. I'd have your cats if I didn't have her!

katkit · 16/02/2010 09:31
piratecat · 16/02/2010 09:39

the nervous one is unhappy, and may well need to be seen by a vet to rule out any physical problems.

As it is so unhappy, and you are not able to care for it, then rehoming is probably best for it. it may not like your other cat. It obviously doesn't like living in the situation it is in. They are very sensitive animals, but they aren't all hardy and self sufficient. Some are very hard work.

itsmeolord · 16/02/2010 09:51

@ katkit.

Abihattie · 16/02/2010 14:26

I can sympathise with you as I have two cats - one very needy while the other rarely wants to know. I took them in when I was pg with DD1 as they were hanging around outside starving. It's been hard work though since having two babies as I just don't have the time for them.

They've cost me a small fortune and have plucked my stair carpet/wallpaper to shreds which drives me insane. I thought about rehoming them but where would they go? Shelters are inundated. It's such a shame.
So - I'm trying not get cross with them. They're just trying to survive like the rest of us.

Some things I do which have helped:

  • I don't have a cat flap so no need to deal with birds/mice etc
  • Got a litter tray with a lid on - like a box with a flap. Less hazardous around kids. Argos I think.
  • We switched to dry food - a lot less messy and poos definately more tolerable although they tend to do those outside in patch of soil.
  • I've nailed plastic sheet at bottom of stairs as fav place to pluck!

I hope you manage to sort things for yours and their sake. It's hard when you're stressed out with other things.

MadamDeathstare · 16/02/2010 15:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

helenium · 16/02/2010 15:25

I am really interested in cat genie, although it looks horrendously expensive if it doesnt work, so if you don't mind i am going to start a thread asking if anyone has got one and their opinions.

fernie3 · 16/02/2010 15:38

your cat sounds like a dream compared to one mine! I think it is unreasonable to expect cats to need no attention and keep themselves spotless - they are animals after all what did you expect, having said that re homing them would be a good idea if you dont like them as they are young and clearly need more attention and love than you have for them.

MadamDeathstare · 16/02/2010 15:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

helenium · 16/02/2010 16:00

oh thanks for the info and your experiences. One of my main thingys about the litter tray i have now, is that i cannot find anything that holds the litter in. My cats have scuffed it all out on the floor in the past. I have 2 new kittens now and was thinking of a new way of litter use. They are 9 weeks old and would probably be a good age to introduce one.

Soemone else on my other thread has mentioned clicker training to use the toilet, which sounds very impressive. Not sure i have the patience though.

Veritythebrave · 16/02/2010 16:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

piratecat · 16/02/2010 17:50

Cat litter tray here

with lid

and here

deeper and with rim

MadamDeathstare · 16/02/2010 18:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadamDeathstare · 16/02/2010 18:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bramshott · 16/02/2010 18:30

I feel your pain - we have just given in and got a litter tray as our cat was getting less and less keen to go outside, and I'd rather clean out a litter tray than keep mopping up messes! The litter tray has improved things - I'm now not sure why I held out for so long ! Clearly some cats are outside cats, and some aren't (or can cease to be). Ours is also somewhat 'needy'

Bramshott · 16/02/2010 18:31

In fact we have exactly the litter tray in Piratecat's first link. Now just have to persuade him to use it with the lid on . . . .

Original poster
Spidermama · 17/02/2010 22:48

Yuk! That litter tray looks like a cat's version of a portaloo.

I'm feeling slightly better about needy cat now having had a bit of a meltdown which was precipitated by this thread.

Noddy and others you are right that I'm stressed generally and she's copping it as my attention is being squeezed and something has to give.

Abi thanks for the pratical advice. Some really good ideas there.

Thanks all for the help. To those worried about my cat, it's OK I do love her really. Everything got on top of me and she pissed in my handbag. How could I not at least contemplate hook slingage on her part?

As for her fatter, fluffier sister, my attitude toward her could be greatly improved by getting the vet to shave her arse since grape nuts are her only crime.

Once more into the breach then.

OP posts:
oldraver · 17/02/2010 23:06

I use a plastic storage box for a litter tray as it keeps the stuff from being flicked out

TrickyTeenagersMum · 17/02/2010 23:10

Oh God, I'm just reading this after having written emails to all cat rescue centres in the county in search of a kitten.
Are they really that bad - I don't think I can bear it. How do you pick a nice one?
In fact, how do you get a kitten at all, have looked on freeads and preloved and they are all £350 persians.
We just want a nice friendly moggy who is willing to use a catflap, crap outside and be normal and un-weird. And leave all handbags the f* alone.
Or is that too much to ask?

noddyholder · 17/02/2010 23:12

Give them food and a bit of love and let them get on with it for a while while you get on with your own stuff.They will survive!If you ever need 5 mins free from the kids mail me I entertain them for a few hours x

Original poster
Spidermama · 18/02/2010 13:32

Thanks Noddy.

OP posts:
Meandacat · 18/02/2010 14:58

TrickyTeenagersMum - don't get a cat. As someone else said earlier in this thread - thay are all individuals. They have both physical and emotional needs. Some are more demanding than others - just like people. They are not accessories. They do make a mess (you will have to deal with cat hair, cat sick, cat poo whether you like it or not and to expect anything else is unreasonable. And they demand attention which may not always be at a time or in a way which is convenient for you. They'll get sick, they'll get old... If you just want something to be "nice" all the time, go get this:
bit.ly/cjLcE4

Think on this: you might have even trouble getting a kitten because cat shelters are so full of older cats whose owners underestimated the commitment required.

Sorry - but I am sick to death of people thinking cats are just some easy thing they can shove out of doors 80% of the time and forget about, and then pet cutely on the sofa the rest of the time. I know so many people with cats that I make me wonder just why on earth they have them. And all you people that don't want litter trays.. what makes you think that someone else wants to have to clean up YOUR cat's mess out of their garden instead.

Rant over. And breathe....