...to want 3 when i only have 1?

[sofia99]

DH and I had big, sad discussion last night about how many children we wanted - it has always been a bit of a joke that I want 3 and he wants 2, and I've never confronted it as I really didn't want him to actually say NO, so better to keep it light and hope to persuede him after DC 2 is born (due in June). I am usually so rational and I know in my head that it is ridiculous to get hung up on this now - may not be able to have another for a start, may not want to etc etc. However, I like to plan things and i am really worried that he is so adamant he wants only 2 that it is making me feel I might regret it forever etc etc (I have read older people on here talk about this). I am 31 btw. AIBU to want to resolve this now or should I just wait and see what happens or what? I feel so desperate and I don't know why. TIA

Thanks Zapostrophe, and everyone else. It isn't a question of leaving him or tricking him. I suppose I was hoping to manipulate him into it which is probably why I never wanted to confront it outright. It is interesting to hear other's perspectives, especially those who have been there. I am the sort of person who thrives on forward planning, whether it is for a day, the weekend or my whole career. I think I feel this way as a result of that. Not very good at 'wait and see...'

Ha ha I always thought I wanted 3, then DD2 came along and thanks, but no thanks, I've had enough of babies Good luck, whatever you end up doing.

Wait until you have had no.2, and then wait for a few more months..... a friend of mine sums it up nicely - 'Having a child takes up 75% of your time, therefore having 2 children takes up 150% of your time!!!!'

when DH and I married, he wanted 2, I wanted 3.

our compromise was to have 5

sorry, that was flippent.

I would say wait. wait until you have DC2, you might all feel differnt, and don;t forget, you can never honestly know what the future brings anyway so even if right after the birth he is still adament on there being no more, he might still change his mind when DC2 hits 3 or 4.

equally, you might also change your mind.....so don;t panic yet.

especially don;t panic or fret when full of hormones, tis never a good plan.

Thanks everyone for your wise words. DH and I had a good talk and we have both agreed to reserve judgement at the moment, so have taken your advice! I feel better to know we both have open minds on it and think hormones have calmed down a bit..