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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that Valentines Day is for partners, not parents or children?

22 replies

Coldhands · 14/02/2010 08:21

I was buying a card for my DH the other day and there were cards "to my son/daughter on Valentines", "to mummy/daddy on Valentines" and various others that were not from a partner.

Is this going way too far? It was bad enough last year when I went to get a Fathers Day card and they had some saying "from the dog".

Cards have gone OTT in a big way. Surely nobody actually buys these cards?

OP posts:

MissPopOff · 14/02/2010 08:24

I have never bought the cards, but have always got DD a little something on Valentines. Separated from her dad a year ago, so me and DD are going out for lunch together, can't think of anyone else I would rather spend the day with!!

SeaTrek · 14/02/2010 08:36

Well, DH and I don't even bother to send to each other!

compo · 14/02/2010 08:42

Ds made a card for us at school
he was a bit sad that we got one for each other and not one for him!

wannaBe · 14/02/2010 08:46

no yanbu.

The whole thing is just a total money-making exercise.

If people want to show their love for each other surely they should do so spontaniously, not because of the date and at twice the price.

AuntieMaggie · 14/02/2010 08:50

Actually in some countries the day is about all love (friends, family, etc) not just the romantic type.

I get cards from friends from Finland every year because of this.

wonderif · 14/02/2010 09:01

i got my husband one from his two girls.

and i got him one too.

i got one from the children from school for me hand made. priceless.

we did say we wouldnt buy but i got him some chocs and whiskey and i got a hugh box of thorntons.

elmofan · 14/02/2010 09:06

the dc's made us a card in in school [sweet]
i told DH i didn't want anything for valentines day as i think the whole thing is a money making event for retailers , but i have just walked in to the kitchen & on the table is 30 red roses (yes i counted them) & a card . just as well i bought him a gift too or id be

2shoescoveredinhearts · 14/02/2010 09:35

yanbu
dd made some biscuits at school for us which is nice, but valentine day is for lovers.

abbierhodes · 14/02/2010 09:46

Surely if someone wants to get someone a present, then any excuse to do so is lovely!

Hate the way it's become 'Clinton's Day' though.

My dad always got me a single rose, because when I was little I asked why he'd got my mom a dozen roses and not me, with a very sorrowful, 'Don't you love me daddy?' when he was explaining that Valentines Day was for people who love each other.
He gave me one of my mom's roses, and every year after that he bought my mom 11 and had one wrapped separately for me.

IneedacleanerIamalazyslattern · 14/02/2010 11:54

YABU, when I was little I remember asking my mum if she didn't love me because she never sent me a valetine. I was too young to really get romantic love so it was all black and white to me.
After that she got me a card every year and now sends the dc's one.
I got a card and an hand painted (by him) fridge magnet from ds in nursery and bought both dc's some heart chocolates and heart cookies.

Firawla · 14/02/2010 12:43

its not doing any harm is it, and if you dont want those cards dont buy it
we dont do valentines @ all in our house but doesnt bother me if people get for their kids or even their dog. if it makes them happy then good 4 them

Blu · 14/02/2010 12:49

Commercial exploitation can always be resisted, just don't buy them. But so what - if people do wnat to buy them, let them!

As for policing who can tell who else that they love them - well, maybe it brightens up the day of someone who isn't lucky enough to have a spouse of partner to know that they hold a special place ion someone's heart. Don't be so mean!

grumpypants · 14/02/2010 12:50

well, I did think it a bit odd when I suggested holding a kids' valentines party (to while away half term) and my friend said she thought it was a weird thing to do. Fair enough, but she's gone and bought heart balloons and lollies for her dcs!

logi · 14/02/2010 12:53

my 6 year old son was delighted this morning when he got his card from me and a trail of chocolate hearts that led to a present,but i enjoyed the look on his face even more.

zapostrophe · 14/02/2010 19:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

compo · 14/02/2010 19:18

I'll have to remember to do something for the dcs next year then

Heifer · 14/02/2010 19:21

DD (6) made me a card to give to DH, and a card for DH for me to give to me.

She was very upset that we hadn't made her one. I tried to explain that its a day for people IN love, no for those you love but she didnt' get it and still thought it was unfair.

She said was Valentines day meant to be the worst day of your life. I did say yes when you are 16 and now one sends you card then yes it will feel like the worst day of your life...

Original poster

Coldhands · 14/02/2010 21:49

I think it is nice if DCs go to the effort of making something. But in this country it is not about family, it is about partners. Me and my DH do buy each other cards (and he got me flowers and chocs) but I'm not really bothered by the day anyway. He buys me flowers anyway (then complains because I leave them after they have died as I feel guilty about the money .

I was never upset by adults getting cards and me not getting any. I didn' think anything of it. School as a teen was a completely different matter though, that was always an awful time.

Plus my uncle died on Valentines Day years ago so it does have a slightly sad meaning for me too, even though I was only young.

I still don't think it is for children though.

OP posts:

ByTheSea · 14/02/2010 21:52

My dad always gave us a small box of chocolates for Valentines Day (and he gave my mother a big box) and I have lovely very fond memories of it. So now, DH always gives the DC some chocolates as well. What's the harm and it creates a lovely family tradition.

scanty · 14/02/2010 21:56

I think I remember reading somewhere that originally Valentines day was for anyone you love and not just romantic kind - have to read up on it.

Original poster

Coldhands · 14/02/2010 22:03

See. I've never really taken that much notice, even now not bothered, I think it is because I was about 10 when my uncle died and I always associate it with that.

ByTheSea it does actually sound like a nice tradition.

OP posts:

2rebecca · 15/02/2010 08:42

My son made me a card once at nursery. He was a bit upset when he didn't get one in return but I explained it was mainly for grown ups who loved each other to send cards, but his was very nice and I loved him lots.
Really wouldn't have wanted to get into a whole family card swapping thing.
Got a facebook valentines present from a friend (huggy bear thing) which was sweet but still not my sort of thing to send one in return.

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