TO WANT SOME FAMILY TIME ON HOLIDAY OF A LIFETIME?

[salsmum]

We are hoping to go to Florida in early June, this will be the first trip abroad for me and a 'holiday of a lifetime' for our family ( myself, DP and DD who is a wheelchair user).
My brother lives in Chicago and we've not seen him, his wife and 3 kids for about 10 years (my DP has never met them) we were going to meet up while away for (I assumed) a couple of days we have booked a large villa so my daughter can get round in her electric w/chair My SIL is a teacher and they are a very religious family we want to swim with Dolphins but they are saying they cannot afford to. SIL sent me an e-mail saying is it ok to stay at our villa and has offered to pay half. She also states that they may come and stay for the whole 2 weeks! Our numbers will swell from us 3 to 8! It has been a hard few months for us because I lost my job 2 months ago and I really want to make this
Holiday special but I know that when you have so many people in a holiday group its hard to find stuff that everyone agrees with and I want this Holiday to be really special. I don't know if the villa owner would allow us to have 5 more people staying and the caretaker lives right opposite...HELP PLEASE I don't know how to kindly let them know that 2 weeks is too long! x

Well, if you´ve not seen them for 10yrs,i`m not surprised that they want more than a couple of days tbh.

But separate accommodation would be better imo.

Is two weeks the whole holiday?

You are absolutely fine to want the time with your family. Not unreasonable at all.

First of all, have a think about how long you would actually really like to see them for (ie the 2 days or longer?).

Then think whether you could have them at the villa for those nights or would rather they stayed elsewhere. It shouldn't be a problem them staying - the owners will expect the villa to be bursting if it's a big one as it's very normal for people to have friends and family popping in and out when people rent places like that.

Then, just email or phone back and say that you would love them to stay with you / meet up with you for 'X' nights and which dates would suit them best? Say that you would love to be able to offer the villa up for the full 2 weeks but this is your holiday of a life time and 'I'm sure you understand' but other than the nights where you would love to have the to stay (and won't take no for an answer), you will be spending some much needed time together. Then gush about how much you're looking forward to seeing them....

Why don't you compromise and suggest that they come for a week, somewhere in the middle of your trip, so you have your family time, before and after they are with you?

I'm sure that it's just nerves, once you meet up again, you'll probably just click and enjoy every second of their company.

Mind you, on second reading they have 3 kids? Hmm, beginning to get it now...

You could suggest that the villa isn't quite big enough to comfortably cater to 8, especially as you only rented a larger villa for the space DD would need for her wheelchair. Perhaps suggest they rent their own space nearby?

Just say no, the villa owner won't allow it. I think you are quire right to be 'selfish' with your time - if this holiday doesn't turn out to be the way you want it then you'll regret it for ever.

Thank you everyone for your comments I think that probably a week would be better we are only going for 2 weeks so I think maybe the whole Holiday would be too much on both sides iyswim my DD does rely on me for ALL of her care needs so could be a lil bit embarrassed if she doesn't have her personal space to have pad change etc... without it being noticeable.

We've just had a family holiday to Florida too and I mean a whole family holiday - 10 of us altogether! The MIL paid - so fair enough she was there too but it was family overkill - sounds very ungrateful I know

As long as you have your own transport at least you can get away and do what you want to do. I would go with the other posters and say there is a max limit on guests staying

Have a great time - I absolutely loved it there!

I would not want this tbh!

Chicago to Florida though is a very long way (even by US standards) for just 2 days.

I think I would be inclined to be honest and say this is huge holiday of a lifetime and you and your family feel its important to see and do all that you want to.

Obviously you would love to see them - suggest they can either come an stay with you all in the villa for no more than 2/3 nights but because you are busy with your itinery and need to spend alot of time caring for dd and need the space for her wheelchair then any longer would be awkward.

The other lternative for them being to stay elsewhere for longer and meet up a few times.

I think you need to be honest but come up with a few ideas for them as opposed to just plain rejection. Much as its lovely to see them for SOME of the time- this is a big holiay of lifetime for you. Perhaps you just need to explain it to them plainly.

Have been in similar situations myself - not on a big holiday but last year I took my kids camping on my own as hubby away with work. My sister insisted on meeting me on the beach the day after my arrival because she gets free train travel and its was on her local train route. Was knackerd the next day and did not want to rush out in the morning as I had gone camping to meet up with friends and their kids who live 4 hours from us usually so its a real treat to get together. Then I had to drag my moaning kids to the beach away from their friends. I paid £8 in car parking as I was unfamiliar as to where to park and my sister had a nice "Free" day out! WHen she suggested doing it agin later in the week I told her straight. Was a bit cringey but had to be done!

Honesty I think works best! Hard but explain your resons kindly and if anyone gets arsey - you know you hve been true tou yourselves and them.

Good luck.