When things take a turn for the worse?

[marsden14]

Without going into too much detail, as we could be here all night.
My DD, who is nearly 5, has gone to spend the afternoon and evening with her dad, who lives about half hours drive away with his girlfriend and her son.
Yesterday morning I woke up with a trapped nerve under my collarbone (this is what the doctor today has said)and only just managed to get to work today, but was sent home at 1pm to see the doctor, and a friend who did a deep tissue massage on my neck. The doctor has given me lots of pain relief and I was told not to drive for 48 hours.
I contacted my ex husband and told him I was unable to collect our DD at 12.30pm as I cannot drive. He then kicks off, saying he has to leave for Stansted Airport, which is out of his way to come to me first. He then hurls abuse at me and said "Dont even bother asking for any other money from him other than child maintenance which will now be made through CSA, not our amicable agreement of standing order. (By the way, he has never just given me money for anything) That I am to drop her off when he see's her and he will bring her home. This was accompanied with alot of swearing and abuse. I said that if he wants to get like that, over something so stupid, then if he wants to see his daughter he comes and gets her from me. (Bearing in mind, he lost his license to drink driving in September 2009, and relys alot on his girlfriend) or gets a court order.
Am I being unreasonable?

No you aren't - he's being a twat. Stick to what you have said... god there are some right planks out there.

At least you can take some comfort from the fact he's your EX!!

Hope you are feeling better soon x

Ahh thanks Chippingin. I feel like I need to do find out information about court orders or something so I know what my rights are. Does anyone/has anyone had to do this before? I was hoping it wouldnt get to this. Been great for 2 years.
x

Anybody?

Sorry, no advice. But I can see why he's your Ex. Delightful man.

He would have to make an application to the court (via a solicitor if he wanted) for a contact order.

He sounds like a wanker. Lucky he's your ex. Hope you recover soon.

Twatty ex!

Hope your back gets better soon.

I'm sorry, I'm a bit confused about your timing - you were sent home from work at 1pm today and then told him you couldn't collect your daughter at 12.30pm? Or were you to collect her tomorrow?

Either way, I can see why he'd be pissed off, and I can see that you're in pain - maybe best wait till you've all calmed down before you go making decisions about court action and all that.

I was sent home from work at 1pm on friday to see the doctor, then after seeing the doctor, he told me not to drive, so I called ex to say I wouldnt be able to collect DD on saturday at 12.30pm.
He forgets everything Ive done for him since we split up. Stored all his furniture in my garage when he was sacked at work, typed his CV up for him, drove him to interviews, let him sleep on sofa when he was too drunk to get a cab home, done washing for him, shipped his daughter whereever he was so he could see her.....and then on this one occasion he couldnt bring her to me as i couldnt drive.......selfish is the first word that springs to mind.
Jamieandhismagictorch, Roulade, Verytellytubby and kinnies......yes so glad he's an ex... x

That's me not looking at dates on posts. Sorry.

Still think you'd both be better off (and so would your DD) calming down before rushing off to court, though yes, he sounds like an ungrateful shit.

lol, Id like nothing more than sorting this out amicably. Me and my mum went over and picked DD up this morning. He said I looked like shit and was as white as a ghost. Funny that. Thanks for listening everyone. xx

you're better off without him the little selfish shit

If he takes it through court, he will be told that HE is to collect and drop off your daughter, and tbh, if he goes through the CSA, he will almost definately probably find that he's only managed to screw himself over, as he will be made to pay 15% of his income, with no deductions at all if he doesn't have your DD OVERNIGHT for at least 52 nights a year. And even then it is only a 1/7th deduction. And if he does overtime at work, they will take 15% of that money as well. Tbh, he's being such a twunt that I'd call his bluff and say, fine then, you go ahead and take the maintenance to the CSA, don't come running to me when it ends in (his) tears... HE would have to be the one to make the application for a court order for access. All you would have to do is write down all the things you have done to help facilitate contact (either driving your DD there or picking her up or both) and the judge would see him for what a twunt he is. Stop driving your DD to him, if he wants to see her so badly, he will find a way to see her, whether he lives 5 miles away or 500. Good Luck.

(been there, done that, got the t-shirt, 3 times, with 3 different ex-P's).

Thank you loudlass.....We met about 3 weeks ago as we never got chance to talk properly as his girlfriend was always there. I said to him then that i would get 15% of everything. If he did overtime or bonuses, i would get it aswell. He decided then to go straight to Natwest and set up a standing order for £50 every week. Suppose I have to wait til next friday to see if he has cancelled it or not.
xx