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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

dh and the heating, every single year

44 replies

minxofmancunia · 12/02/2010 12:17

Every year in the 11 we've been together the same bloody issue every winter.

Temp drops I turn the heating on, cue dh home from work "oh God I'm sweating, how can you stand thi" etc.etc. Covertly turns heating down/off. Me, shivering, go and put it back on again and so on and so on and so on. It's like a battle, sick of being freezing in my own house!

One time even when me and my dsis were sitting curled on the sofa in hoodies and sleeping bags just to watch tv, still refused to aknowledge how cold it was.

he changes the setting on it all the time so it comes on at a lower temp for less time.
It's not justthe cold that bugs me though ti's all the huffing and puffing when the house is a reasonable temp and the discarding of clothes everywhere and the theatrical wiping of forehead with finger tips to demonstarte perspiration.

Arghhh

OP posts:
RJRabbit · 12/02/2010 12:21

I can totally sympathise with you as I went throough this too. My DH has finally given up saying anything - I don't know why - maybe he knew it was a battle he was never going to win.

I would go out and buy a fan heater if I were you. Aim it at yourself and you can decide when it goes on and off.

thedollshouse · 12/02/2010 12:22

I'm starting to wonder whether my husband is a bigamist and has another secret family.

"theatrical wiping of forehead with fingertips to demonstrate perspiration" - Yep that is definitely my dh.

Iklboo · 12/02/2010 12:23

Tell him you've made an apointment at the doctors as his inability to control his temperature must be a sign of something that needs to be investigated with big needles/fingers up bottoms

itsallaboutpootle · 12/02/2010 12:24

Mines the reverse, but equally annoying! Keeps turning heating up and complaining its cold, while walking around in a t-shirt!!!!

GetOrfMoiLand · 12/02/2010 12:24

DP is exactly the same.

I have the heating on full, he comes in and whacks the thermostat down to baltic temperatures, opens all the windows, huffs and puffs etc.

Tbh he doesn't feel the cold and dd and I do. We used to have debates about it.

I just transferred the gas bill into my name and if he starts on heating costs at least I can trump him by saying I pay the gas bill.

There is no middle ground really - it is always going to be one of those niggles.

Rebeccaj · 12/02/2010 12:26

Well, it is easier to warm up a bit - put another jumper on - than cool down; if he is too hot there's not a lot he can do! He's probably sick of being baking hot in his own house . And your heating bills will be cheaper.

Surely there's a happy middle ground temp where you have a jumper on and he has a t-shirt and no-one is freezing or baking?

ClaireDeLoon · 12/02/2010 12:28

Yes we have this - the bedroom is too hot apparently, he can't sleep because of it. Which is odd because I think he seems to sleep just fine.

I love Iklboo's suggestion

LittleAngelicRose · 12/02/2010 12:36

I believe that the male body reacts to heat differently to the female, either that or men think it is a weakness to admit to being cold - they seem to prefer to cut off their own frostbitten fingertips than admit to being cold!

My office makes me sooo frustrated - the girls switch the radiators on to Max and you can't breathe then the guys come in and open the window. Like business rates aren't high enough!

psychomum5 · 12/02/2010 12:40

I was going to suggest exactly what ikleboo has beaten me to

does he work outside??

my DH does this too, but he works outside (bricklayer) so of course inside always seems warm/too hot to him, where-as I feel the cold, and being indoors most of the time, I don;t get the extreems of temperature the way DH does.

DH even got one of those temp guide things from the doc surgery, the ones that have a temp thing inside them that say when it is too cold, cool, just right, too hot......and he sticks to it like glue even tho I am sat shivering at times.

I do however love being wrapped in furry blankets tho in the evening, so it does not bother me that much when he is home.....during the day however, the temp control is my own

Romanarama · 12/02/2010 12:46

God I'm sooo mean about the gas bill. I sit in 3 jumpers in my 12oC house all day!! I wouldn't if I had pre-school children, but I don't.

Actually it's very healthy as I seem to be spending an amazing amount of time out walking the dog recently

Pikelit · 12/02/2010 12:54

Don't get a fan heater! Your electricity bill will go through the roof.

But having once lived with a heating fascist (it was just one of the many contributory factors to us splitting up) I can assure that there's no middle course. One of you will always complain about the heat while the other say they are freezing.

But...and I say this as someone who errs on the chilly side...it is far easier to put a jumper on than it is to try and cool down in an over-heated house though. I can't stand trying to sleep in overheated bedrooms too and need a tiny bit of fresh air in as well as radiators down to minimum setting.

You get a deal less cold if you take lots of outside exercise too and there's something very cosy about cuddling up on the sofa under a fleecy throw.

mumof2222222222222222boys · 12/02/2010 13:11

My DH is the same...but at the moment he is in the Middle East...so I turn up the heating while he is moaning about excessive air con over there and being too cold. Ha some people you can't please

Rocky12 · 12/02/2010 17:21

I hate being cold but my OH prefers things a little cooler. Over the years I have found a few ways to deal with this.

  1. Hot water bottles on my knees
  2. Blanket whilst watching TV
  3. And the best one - an electric blanket (you can get one with dual controls. I could never get into a bed that was cold nowadays. I look forward to going to bed and stretching out immediately. Sometimes I take the hot water bottle with me! Life is just too short.
Batteryhuman · 12/02/2010 17:25

We are the opposite. Iturn it down, he turns it up and theatrically sits at the table in is thick fleece while the DSs and i are in tee shirts.

Can we swap internal your DH's internal thermostat for my DHs?

pennyrain · 12/02/2010 17:27

reminds me of a joke:

Husband to wife: I'm going down the pub love, put your coat on"
Wife: "Oh, you taking me with you?"
Husband: "sure i'm not, i'm turning the heating off"

Maybe NOT I'll get my coat...

upahill · 12/02/2010 17:28

Hey Minxofmancunia He's not callled Mr Upahill is he? Mines the same.

I work in the outdoors but I always wrap up well - Yesterday base layers. flece jumper, soft shell and duvet coat, winter pants and base layer pants, but when I get home I like the house to be cosy.

I cringe when I see the school girls walking round in their mini skirts and blazers and the temp is going between -3 and 2 degrees.
Sometimes they pop into my office for a chat and they get a (mocking) earfull from me!!!

herbietea · 12/02/2010 17:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Ripeberry · 12/02/2010 17:40

Don't just rely on the thermostat. Ours are on the radiators so without our own room thermometer we would not have a clue as to the temperature of the room.
Our living room is usually between 18c-20c and if we put the log fire on, it can rise to 23c and that is lush as it's extra free heat

Francagoestohollywood · 12/02/2010 17:43

I can't cope in cold homes. I don't feel better wearing another jumper. I get so tense in the cold that I often develop a stiff neck.

borderslass · 12/02/2010 17:45

I have the opposite DH always puts the heating up I'll use a duvet to cover up at night and wear a jumper during the day the only time I have it high is if I need to dry clothes.Really annoys me because he puts it on at night and I'll often wake with a headache because of the heat.

psychomum5 · 12/02/2010 17:56

herbie, oh yes, you are right.

as am I!!

in fact, I think all us women are right, all the time, regardless.....

Cheappinkfizz · 12/02/2010 18:09

I;d buy a thermometer if I was you! It really helped me in our house. I had the temperature set at 20 and felt cold, so I got a thermometer and realised the kitchen didn't get much above 18 all day and our bathroom didn't get 16. It was one of those that displayed the min and max for the last 24 hours.

You'll be able to wave it under his nose saying 'look it doesn't get above ** all day!'

heQet · 12/02/2010 18:13

It's the other way round here. my husband is always cold and I am always hot. I turn down the heating (he cranks it up to 30!) and tell him to put on a jumper!

If you're cold, you can add extra layers, if you're hot, what can do do? strip?

So too hot trumps too cold because it's easier to sort too cold

diddl · 12/02/2010 18:17

I´m menopausal the moment, so I´m fighting with myself about the house being too blöödy hot or cold!

Brunocat · 12/02/2010 19:52

Think yourself lucky - my Father in Law used to take the fuse out of the central heating system when he went to work so that his family couldn't have the central heating on while he was away!!!